AIBU- Fellow school mum drives every morning

[Mybumlooksbig]

So..hope this doesn't out me.
We live in a very small close knit area. All kids attend the same school, lots of us live on the same few streets.
Every morning and pick up we ALL walk the kids to school, bar the few who have to rush off to work etc (it's a 5-10 min walk)
One parent on my street... drives! Big 4x4, she has NEVER once walked her DS.
She doesn't work, no where to rush off to. She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child..
Why does this iritate me so much??

Yabu- live and let live
Yanbu- she should be walking

Oh I don't drive either but people are allowed to drive their cars even if its half a mile !

None of your business whatsover

She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child.

I assume you actually have no idea if this is true. You do know not all mobility issues can e seen from the outside.

I have a friend who has Lupus, another with MS. You wouldn’t know by looking. My daughter has a friend with EDS, and another with Scoliosis. You couldn’t tell by looking either. Only close friends know about these issues so YABVVVU by judging.

Either way, it’s none of your business. The vast majority of able bodied parents with able bodied kids who can walk to school will, given how much of a PITA it is to get parked at most schools. If it’s dead easy at yours that means the vast majority are walking and for whatever reason it is easier for her to drive.

Although, I expect you are just looking for frothy responses which agree with you.

@Mybumlooksbig

Child has no issues either.

She is just lazy. Maybe this is why I am so annoyed by it...

Notes taken, I'm taking up new hobby

I agree! This old "hobby" of yours is going to turn you in to a bitter old mere. Being nosey and judgmental, isn't a hobby OP

Reasons we used to drive when we lived closer to the school

• no path in places so not safe (incredible people didn't get run over but appreciate you might have a path)

-had to get dh to the train station -had to collect mil straight after to bring her to physio

You don't know other people's lives

Also people are allowed to be lazy there is no law against laziness 🙄

@RedCandyApple

How do you know they have no disabilities etc? My daughter has autism and no one would know to look at her, I don’t drive but if I did I would drive her to school, we get the bus instead because she won’t walk or she runs off, runs into the road (it’s just safer on the bus) no one would know to look at her and we have had judgey comments for getting the bus but the school is 1 miles away which would take me on my own 15 mins but with dd it takes at least double the time

@redcandyapple totally agree with this, not all disabilities/struggles are obvious!

YABU.

You have no idea why she drives. I walk everywhere and hate getting the car out, but these days we drive the short walk to nursery as 3yo is exhausted from her long day and the walks turned into a battle every single time, which then led right into a battle over dinner and bed. So we drive - we all get plenty of fresh air and exercise at other times of the day. It's not ideal but it won't be forever.

Sure, all being well she should walk, but there are probably hundreds of possible reasons for her driving and you can't know for sure whether they apply.

None of your business.

@BiggestJulie

It’s everyone’s business, including the people who live near the school, and the children walking. Cars are polluting and the school run accounts for a huge amount of traffic.

I believe cars should be banned within half a mile of primary schools and a mile of secondary - with exceptions for residents within the banned area, and for those with a disabled sticker. Everyone would be healthier and the air the children breathe around the school would be cleaner.

Other things exist around schools... my DDs school has a neighbouring zoo. The majority of traffic in the summer at 3-4pm is for that, not the school.

Or do you mean parking restrictions? We have those. Just means the few bits with unrestricted parking is full of dangerously parked cars mounting pavements etc.

@Mybumlooksbig

Child has no issues either.

She is just lazy. Maybe this is why I am so annoyed by it...

Notes taken, I'm taking up new hobby

Your definition of lazy. Perhaps she does loads else like running, long walks, exercise classes ... and she just wants to drive to school.

Or perhaps not. Maybe she drives everywhere, never walks, sits at home all day.

So what? It's not up to you or anyone else to judge or decide what she 'should' be doing.

@DropYourSword

Why does it irritate you so much?

It irritates me because it contributes to traffic congestion and air pollution. And people like her park in front of other peoples' driveways and then get abusive/supercilious if you suggest they should not cause an obstruction.

It's entitled. The chances of her having a disability which requires her to drive are negligible.

It's not up to you or anyone else to judge or decide what she 'should' be doing

it actually is when people pollute the atmosphere. As well as climate change, air pollution causes dementia. These people do have to stop.

One of the TAs here lives closer around 2-300m away and drives. Likely takes her longer to clear the windscreen and find a parking space than walk. Even if she's got an undiagnosed fear of fresh air, it's not a great example to the kids.

I used to do volunteer crossing patrol outside our primary school when my children were younger and developed a great dislike for the few parents who used to arrive by car at the last moment and park illegally close to the school to rush their child in. I confronted several of them about the illegal and dangerous parking and was generally told indignantly that the parent had a job to get to (so did I 🙄) or that they or their child weren't "morning people" 🙄 as if that entitled them to park in a no parking area immediately in front of the entrance 😡

I wouldn't want to walk with you either OP.

I imagine it irritates you so much because you don’t have enough going on in your own life and because you live in the most claustrophobic, insular, nosey communities ever known.

It irritates me because it contributes to traffic congestion and air pollution. And people like her park in front of other peoples' driveways and then get abusive/supercilious if you suggest they should not cause an obstruction.

It's entitled. The chances of her having a disability which requires her to drive are negligible.

Are you the OP?

Otherwise you've no claim to say anything about 'people like her'. You don't know her.

Lots and lots of things contribute to traffic congestion & air pollution. All of us do, in our own ways.

It's still this woman's choice to drive or not.

But someone slacking in a gym class isn’t hurting anyone. Driving a big car when you could walk is harming others - climate change, air pollution, making it less pleasant and riskier for others to walk and cycle. It’s an act that has consequences.

52 children were killed on the roads in 2020. According to the RAC, who aren’t exactly anti-car.

I suppose it could well be laziness but you don't know 100% do you? You're still judging her for it though. Perhaps she wants to avoid having to walk with an annoying, judgemental gaggle of parents. Just a guess!

Laziness is much preferable to the bitchiness you seem to suffer with OP....

You've got too much time on your hands!

I would generally walk that distance, unless there was a really good reason, however you don't actually know if she has a good reason or not, do you? For this reason I would vote YABU. I also don't really like the idea of 'group walking' - in fact that's my ideal of hell first thing in the morning, no thanks. Why does it bother you so much what another person does?

If she walks presumably she has to walk with you and the whole group?

I’d probably drive too to avoid that

@JuergenSchwarzwald

It's not up to you or anyone else to judge or decide what she 'should' be doing

it actually is when people pollute the atmosphere. As well as climate change, air pollution causes dementia. These people do have to stop.

There is a huge difference between saying people in general should drive less, more public transport infrastructure should be in place so we depend less on our cars etc, and saying Anne Smith down the road is a lazy polluting cow and should leave the car on the drive.

To be honest it’s issues like this that put me off living in the small communities, villages etc… yes she could be walking but maybe she doesn’t want to get into the whole ‘we walk together every day’ routine