AIBU- Fellow school mum drives every morning

[Mybumlooksbig]

So..hope this doesn't out me.
We live in a very small close knit area. All kids attend the same school, lots of us live on the same few streets.
Every morning and pick up we ALL walk the kids to school, bar the few who have to rush off to work etc (it's a 5-10 min walk)
One parent on my street... drives! Big 4x4, she has NEVER once walked her DS.
She doesn't work, no where to rush off to. She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child..
Why does this iritate me so much??

Yabu- live and let live
Yanbu- she should be walking

EarringsandLipstick I'm not missing the point, you're inventing a straw man hypothesis that everyone actually drives and parks safely.
This isn't true.
Additionally 25% of rush hour traffic is school run traffic which objectively creates local pollution, making walking on those roads at those times more dangerous.

Would annoy me too

I live in London the number of 4x4 cars at ds school is ridiculous yet so many championed the schools project on climate change

It's entitled. The chances of her having a disability which requires her to drive are negligible.

Nearly twenty percent of the UK have a disability that impacts their life enough to require extra provision and understanding.

And we don't go about advertising our children's struggles to absolute strangers unless necessary. It's not good for a child's self esteem to be constantly have their struggles pointed out.

So I am absolutely fuming that you'd judge someone who may be struggling with a hidden disability.

Also, even if there is no disability etc. It's her choice. That's it. You don't get to be up in arms about her choices, just as I am sure she doesn't judge you for scoffing meat or having a big family.

You are being extraordinarily nasty and judgemental on the pretext of being environmental.

I see you.

Seriously as yourself why you care some much and are giving this so much headspace. And please don't trot out some spiel about the environment - that is vary rarely the crux of this thinking.

It’s her choice. Ok her big car and choice to drive might not be very environmentally friendly but honestly mind your own business.

@BiggestJulie

It’s everyone’s business, including the people who live near the school, and the children walking. Cars are polluting and the school run accounts for a huge amount of traffic.

I believe cars should be banned within half a mile of primary schools and a mile of secondary - with exceptions for residents within the banned area, and for those with a disabled sticker. Everyone would be healthier and the air the children breathe around the school would be cleaner.

‘Disabled sticker’, what’s that? Do you mean blue badge? I have a blue badge. If you looked at me, you’d think I was able bodied. That’s because I’m only out when I’m well enough. But you’d not notice if I wasn’t there.

What about the people, who are disabled, can’t walk half a mile but don’t qualify for a blue badge?

It really fucks me off that able-bodied people decide what rules should and shouldn’t apply.

There is no reason to give a single shit about this.

Go ask her if you're that bothered.

YANBU. We have a climate emergency. We have children who don't do any exercise. We have too many cars on the road. Of course she should be walking.

Really bad example to set her children. In our street we have several mothers who make a point - whatever the weather - to walk their children to school rather than drive them. That's how to behave.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

EarringsandLipstick I'm not missing the point, you're inventing a straw man hypothesis that everyone actually drives and parks safely. This isn't true. Additionally 25% of rush hour traffic is school run traffic which objectively creates local pollution, making walking on those roads at those times more dangerous.

I think the straw man argument is all yours!

You can't say that people like OP's neighbour are contributing to road deaths as she could be the most safe, considerate driver ever. You've no idea.

Overall, walking more than driving is better for all sorts of reasons. It doesn't entitle you or judgey OP to make belittling judgments about individuals, and their choices.

I'm confident you make choices that are poor for the environment or would be different to what I'd do.

Equally, you would be able to say the same about me & some of my choices.

I got judged for similar. I’m friendly and I come across as very together. I cannot deal with the school run, the noise of the traffic and the chatter of the children completely disorientates me. It’s part of my cPTSD that funnily enough, I keep private.

My sis in law drives every day because she has a chronic illness. She’s life of the party but no one knows because it’s private.

Mind your own business

Maybe it’s just that she thinks you’re a bit of a knobhead and doesn’t want to risk bumping into you and having to walk with you?

YABU

What's it to you how she takes herself & child to school each day?

Sorry but I imagined you clutching your pearls as I read “..drives!”

I think it's lazy to walk a short journey BUT as others have pointed out, she probably doesn't want to join in your group walk and I might do the same if I were her, just to avoid having to do the joint walk. I can't bear cliques.

Seem to have hit a raw nerve op

I think it’s the mention of 4x4 and climate change …

@EarringsandLipstick

Yeah it is. Look at all of the excuses being used for driving less than a mile twice a day, every day. Its kind of pathetic. If everyone cannot make small changes, you sure as hell can make the actual drastic changes that are necessary to stop climate change. Small changes are easy, and we can't even do them.

Maybe ask her why she drives if you're really that bothered about it

Personally I barely notice how other parents get their kids to school

Maybe I'm just, you know, getting on with my own business

Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you

@BoredZelda

She has no mobility issues etc neither does the child.

I assume you actually have no idea if this is true. You do know not all mobility issues can e seen from the outside.

I have a friend who has Lupus, another with MS. You wouldn’t know by looking. My daughter has a friend with EDS, and another with Scoliosis. You couldn’t tell by looking either. Only close friends know about these issues so YABVVVU by judging.

Either way, it’s none of your business. The vast majority of able bodied parents with able bodied kids who can walk to school will, given how much of a PITA it is to get parked at most schools. If it’s dead easy at yours that means the vast majority are walking and for whatever reason it is easier for her to drive.

Although, I expect you are just looking for frothy responses which agree with you.

This drives me absolutely bloody mad too. We're all supposed to be more aware of hidden disabilities now, yet people like the OP expect the full medical history of anyone crossing her path so she can make her own snide judgements. My DH has MS. You would NEVER know by looking at him. He isn't in a wheelchair nor does he have a walking aid. He is very fit and walks 5 km every day but when he is in the middle of an MS attack (rare thankfully!) he wouldn't be able to send the signal to his brain to put one foot in front of the other.

@Stellaris22

I don't see it as judgemental, just fed up of cars everywhere making the school run dangerous and unsafe when some parents could just leave the car at home.

It’s judgemental because OP and others are taking it upon themselves to speculate about whether or not this woman is justified in driving to school. They don’t know her reasons for doing so and neither are they entitled to know. They are making a judgement. Being judgemental.

@OhWhyNot

Seem to have hit a raw nerve op

I think it’s the mention of 4x4 and climate change …

I think its the image of a bunch of bitchy school mums having a good old pick at people behind their back....nobody likes a bully.

Well I would think the same and do. We live next to a primary school us with older kids all sent our kids there we walked them then from year 4 they walked themselves in a little gang. All the families with young kids in our cul de sac now put their own kids in their enormous 4x4s and drive them 1.5 miles to the local private school. They never lift share. Know none of my business but seems a shame. The air quality in our city is appalling as we are in a dip.

YABVU

Really none of your business lol also why do you care ?

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

YANBU. We have a climate emergency. We have children who don't do any exercise. We have too many cars on the road. Of course she should be walking.

Really bad example to set her children. In our street we have several mothers who make a point - whatever the weather - to walk their children to school rather than drive them. That's how to behave.

I'm shocked by how callous you are.

I walk everywhere - as much as feasible - with my DC. We're all sporty & do lots of exercise. It's none of my business what others choose to do.

In fact, some of my 'healthy' choices were really not - 8 years ago with very small DC, and at the end of an abusive marriage, I got fixated on walking & exercising. My small DC walked with me to a train station, got a train a short distance, and walked a good distance (for their ages) to school, with me. On days I wasn't working, I then ran 2 hours. Loads of people used to say to me, 'you're great, all the walking & running'.

I was practically having a nervous breakdown. My kids were too young for it, really, and it was sometimes too much for them before school. I was exhausted from running long distances & was snappy & tired in the afternoons.

There's more than one perspective on everything.

See if she can give your kids a lift