To think age 21 is not a 'young mum'?

[546321yeah]

I fell pregnant with my daughter at 20, had her at 21. I am now referred to by a lot of people as a 'young mum'. I don't feel like 21 to have a child is young at all and 10 years on, I've gotten on with my life very well, just the same as I would have without having my child.

AIBU to think a young mum is someone about 15, 16, 17? Anything above that is normal age to have children?

@chainiverreaction you've ignored my question because you know you can't answer it 😆

Some of the most interesting and successful people I've met in life have come from humble beginnings or rough starts to adulthood. On the contrary, some of the most dullest, forgettable people have come from Uni/well off backgrounds.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Personally I want to raise my child to be a nice person who helps and doesn't look down on others. I'd rather my child be a retail worker and a decent human than end up like Boris Johnson who is educated and wealthy but doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone but himself.

Or Reese Fucking Mogg. Eurgh, why the fuck would anyone aspire to be anything like that bunch of clowns.

21 is definitely a young Mum. I had my 1st at 23, my 2nd at 26 & our surprise 3rd at 36... I am one of the youngest Mum's amongst my eldest's friends parent's. With my second there a few who are a similar age to me & a lot are older. With my youngest I thought I would feel really old but I have noticed a lot of parents at Preschool are around my age (there are a few younger ones too though).

3rd time lucky! 😁

21 is definitely young to become a parent. Not too young but young nonetheless.

Personally I want to raise my child to be a nice person who helps and doesn't look down on others. I'd rather my child be a retail worker and a decent human than end up like Boris Johnson who is educated and wealthy but doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone but himself.
Exactly.
Some people poison their DC minds teaching them to see those with less as inferior, teaching hate, pedestal attitude.

Criticisms of how other people do things is just insecurity IMO, whether that’s young mums doing the whole ‘you will DIE early’ to older mums, or older mums sneering about money & travelling.

If you’re truly comfortable with your decisions you don’t need to rip other people’s to shreds.

@Lifeisnteasy

Criticisms of how other people do things is just insecurity IMO, whether that’s young mums doing the whole ‘you will DIE early’ to older mums, or older mums sneering about money & travelling.

If you’re truly comfortable with your decisions you don’t need to rip other people’s to shreds.

Exactly. There is definitely one person very insecure with their life choices I think.

@Emerald5hamrock

Personally I want to raise my child to be a nice person who helps and doesn't look down on others. I'd rather my child be a retail worker and a decent human than end up like Boris Johnson who is educated and wealthy but doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone but himself. Exactly. Some people poison their DC minds teaching them to see those with less as inferior, teaching hate, pedestal attitude.

Yes they do. Sometimes the text book educated aren't life educated at all. You can't learn life from a book!

@Lifeisnteasy

Criticisms of how other people do things is just insecurity IMO, whether that’s young mums doing the whole ‘you will DIE early’ to older mums, or older mums sneering about money & travelling.

If you’re truly comfortable with your decisions you don’t need to rip other people’s to shreds.

Oh god yes, especially those who said nothing to provoke you. Retaliating against someone else I can understand but this is something else!

My mum was 21 when she had me nearly 45 years ago and that was the norm then. She'd had miscarriages before me so 21 for her was older than intended.

But nowadays 21 is a young mum.

Not at all to generalise but my parents' ages definitely had a bearing on how well they parented. I'm sure there are plenty of people 21 and younger who make excellent parents. I wish my parents had been more mature.

Anyone else NOT have kids until 30 but still get depressed with all the comments about spending your 20s travelling the world, constantly partying and this that and the other. Doesn’t reflect my child-free 20s at all, I was working full-time with a few weeks annual leave and had to save very long and hard to buy a house.

@littlepetit you shouldn't be depressed you have bought a house and that's a great achievement. Don't compare to others.

I dislike the label. Dislike older mum too, and can't understand the obsession with bringing age into everything. The year you are born does not define you, imbue you with special powers or abilities or make you better or worse at any given thing.

@5128gap

I dislike the label. Dislike older mum too, and can't understand the obsession with bringing age into everything. The year you are born does not define you, imbue you with special powers or abilities or make you better or worse at any given thing.

Age and bloody social class. Who gives a shit?!

Looks like MNHQ agrees that @chainoverreaction 's posts were vile. Fingers crossed they've been banned completely

@littlepetit no don't feel bad. Despite what some say, most don't spend their 20s living it up and travelling the world. Most are working full time with just 28 days annual leave and most don't have kids till their 30s because they just haven't met someone they'd want to have kids with/don't feel ready yet. Very few are out travelling the world/buying lovely houses/having lavish careers in order to create a Palace for the next king/Queen (in their deluded eyes) to be born to have the perfect childhood/life!

Anything up to 30 is a young mum.

@littlepet the more stable you get early, the easier it gets later. I'm sure your hard work will pay off in the end.

I probably wouldn't say it to you in case it gets taken as a criticism (just as I wouldn't say older mum), it is young in my opinion. Under 20 is a teenage mum.

Seems young to me my DD is 21 and no way ready to have a baby. However my Mum had me at 21 and it was totally normal then.

Yes, it is young.

If you had your own mortgaged property, established career and financial security, then not young.

If you are relying on UC, Housing Benefit ,not in control of your own housing..

@CinstonWhurchill

Yes, it is young.

If you had your own mortgaged property, established career and financial security, then not young.

If you are relying on UC, Housing Benefit ,not in control of your own housing..

Some people never manage to get a mortgage. We didn't until my youngest was 8. That shouldn't be a factor. Job security (not necessarily a career), yes if you're activity trying, but not a mortgage