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AIBU?

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Original poster

How often should I shower?

999 replies

grosstonotshower · 12/01/2022 10:36

Ok so I'm having a few drinks with friends last night. We are all female a mix of parents and non parents. One friend mentions she is struggling to find time for o shower every day since she had her baby. I said "well I don't shower every day without a young baby," All of my friends looked at me in horror. Apparently even the ones with kids shower daily. Full disclosure I have two dd one under five and I work part time. I shower on work days plus one extra day so usually three times a week my days off usually consist of playing at home, walking dog, school run and maybe park. I would shower extra if exercising/having sex/on period etc. I bath my dc three times a week. My oh works out every week day so he does shower more than me. AIBD? (Disgusting 😂)

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 12/01/2022 22:27

@Arabellla

I’ve read your posts Kana and you tried to gaslight *@AllThingsServeTheBeam that Purple* didn’t make an ableist comment, even though she was deleted for it.

You’ve then extrapolated with others not showering every day into people not brushing their teeth either.

So yes, that’s ganging up.

I haven’t done any of that. I made a comment responding to a poster who asked how much people had brushed their teeth about something I’d seen online.

I responded to the constant barbed comments about ableism not in reference to any poster, but quoting only MY OWN posts, which were not at any point ableist.

But by all means if you see an ableist post I’ve made where in ganging up on someone please report it because I wouldn’t want it to stand. As far as I can see you’re the one doing the bizarre attacking for no reason when I’ve said let’s agree to disagree.

wonderstuff · 12/01/2022 22:29

Soap doggers in this house. I shower every other day, ds 11 has to be forced to bath once a week. If it’s hot or I’ve exercised then I’ll shower more often. Saves water, saves time, we’re not smelly, all good.

Trekkerbabe · 12/01/2022 22:32

[quote AllThingsServeTheBeam]@Trekkerbabe just make sure you have a full shower. You can't possibly clean yourself properly at a sink![/quote]

I've just realised why I'm single 🙃

FruitMelange · 12/01/2022 22:34

The 1960s and 1970s are not modern times FFS. It's 50 to 60 years ago!

Eeerm. Yes they are.

Arabellla · 12/01/2022 22:36

@Kanaloa I didn’t say you made an ableist comment, I said you were ganging up with someone who did. Your insistence that the comment was ‘innocuous’ even though it was deleted is a form of gaslighting. It’s sad you can’t see that.

I haven’t ‘attacked’ anyone, I’ve challenged people being shamed by those who feel they’re superior. You and Purple have been deleted so look to yourselves first before pointing fingers.

Copasetic · 12/01/2022 22:42

I shower every day. I don't know how long it would take for me to smell (I don't really sweat) but I usually shower every other day. In the 70s and 80s weekly/bi weekly bathing was the norm. Have people's noses become more sensitive?

Tumbleweed101 · 12/01/2022 22:42

I shower and hair wash every time I'm going to be going out with people. For example, to work, shopping, visit others. I sometimes don't if I'm going to be staying home as I think it's good for skin.and hair. But do wash with flannel those days.

Copasetic · 12/01/2022 22:45

The thought of people washing their "pits and bits" with a flannel makes me feel quite sick. Much more than people not showering daily if they don't need to.

catfunk · 12/01/2022 22:50

I sometimes don't shower on a lazy weekend day at home and tbh I feel a bit grim and will jump in on the eve before bed.
Don't you feel unclean? If at least want to hose down my undercarriage 😂

PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 22:51

@Copasetic

The thought of people washing their "pits and bits" with a flannel makes me feel quite sick. Much more than people not showering daily if they don't need to.
I know right. So much easier to just have a bloody shower. And cleaner and more hygienic!
Quarks69 · 12/01/2022 22:52

@Copasetic haha yes I thought it was just me. Think of those damp and soggy flannels sitting near the sink.yuk.

But then I only shower or bath every other day..sometimes less as I hate showers and don’t smell bad..honest..I checked with the family....

When people say it’s grim not to shower everyday I think it says more about their paranoia than reality. As others have said, your bodies respond to washing by producing even more oils...you are in a viscous circle. All that alkali soap on your skin every day, not healthy.

catfunk · 12/01/2022 22:52

For those going on about water usage I can be in and out in 30 secs for a quick freshen up

Kanaloa · 12/01/2022 22:53

[quote Arabellla]@Kanaloa I didn’t say you made an ableist comment, I said you were ganging up with someone who did. Your insistence that the comment was ‘innocuous’ even though it was deleted is a form of gaslighting. It’s sad you can’t see that.

I haven’t ‘attacked’ anyone, I’ve challenged people being shamed by those who feel they’re superior. You and Purple have been deleted so look to yourselves first before pointing fingers.[/quote]
I can’t see any place where I’ve been deleted. I also didn’t say any specific comment was innocuous, I said the comments I’d made, and some others I’d seen, were innocuous.

Just because you’re saying ‘gaslighting’ doesn’t make you right. I disagree with you and I find your dogged approach of consistently quoting me and insisting I’m ‘ganging up’ when actually all I’ve done is explain my own comments quite odd.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 12/01/2022 22:55

It isn't if your disabled @Purple. You keep on and on saying how easy it is. And you've been called out on it and yet you still continue.

Keepitonthedownlow · 12/01/2022 23:03

@Arabellla

I’ve read your posts Kana and you tried to gaslight *@AllThingsServeTheBeam that Purple* didn’t make an ableist comment, even though she was deleted for it.

You’ve then extrapolated with others not showering every day into people not brushing their teeth either.

So yes, that’s ganging up.

Well done @Arabellla for speaking up against the smug, sanctimonious and able-ist posters, who are also ignoring the cost of living/fuel cost crisis and the planet, by using words such as 'grim' and 'gross' at every opportunity.

News alert - the human body is steeped in bacteria and one arbitrary shower a day as opposed to 2-3 a week will make zero difference to cleanliness levels so stop judging.

SamMil · 12/01/2022 23:06

I shower every day but I think I sweat more than average Blush

If I wasnt stinky, I think 3 times a week/every other day would be fine.

LubaLuca · 12/01/2022 23:08

I'm not sure why on these threads it's always pointed out that most people bathed infrequently pre-1980s, as if we've lost sight of what's normal - those weren't the good old days of personal hygiene, that shouldn't be the benchmark. Most kids at school were greasy and smelly, me included for most of the week I'm sure Blush

Arabellla · 12/01/2022 23:15

@Kanaloa

I can’t see any place where I’ve been deleted. I also didn’t say any specific comment was innocuous, I said the comments I’d made, and some others I’d seen, were innocuous.

Well, it’s there if you scroll up.

Just because you’re saying ‘gaslighting’ doesn’t make you right. I disagree with you and I find your dogged approach of consistently quoting me and insisting I’m ‘ganging up’ when actually all I’ve done is explain my own comments quite odd.

But you keep quoting me too? I’m responding to your posts or references to me. Why id it ok for you to quote me but not vice versa?

Arabellla · 12/01/2022 23:17

@Keepitonthedownlow

Well done @Arabellla for speaking up against the smug, sanctimonious and able-ist posters, who are also ignoring the cost of living/fuel cost crisis and the planet, by using words such as 'grim' and 'gross' at every opportunity.

Thank you, and well said Flowers

VanGoghsDog · 12/01/2022 23:21

@catfunk

For those going on about water usage I can be in and out in 30 secs for a quick freshen up
That's not washing, it's just getting wet, you might as well not bother.
Thhhhheeeeelong · 12/01/2022 23:22

I used to be two times a day as felt grimy after work. Now days post kids, working from home in a very busy role it's maybe every 2 days....I come from a cultural where parents and grandparents would have been once a week.

VanGoghsDog · 12/01/2022 23:23

I use a clean flannel every day so I don't have damp flannels sitting by the sink. Clean one at night for my face, used again in morning for face then body wash, then in the laundry and clean one that evening.

hannsmum · 12/01/2022 23:27

@Ponoka7

Social distancing has been a blessing especially over summer.
😂😂😂
PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 23:27

@VanGoghsDog

I use a clean flannel every day so I don't have damp flannels sitting by the sink. Clean one at night for my face, used again in morning for face then body wash, then in the laundry and clean one that evening.
Not in place of a shower surely? What's the point? A shower is much quicker.
PurpleRainlnTheSky · 12/01/2022 23:29

@LubaLuca

I'm not sure why on these threads it's always pointed out that most people bathed infrequently pre-1980s, as if we've lost sight of what's normal - those weren't the good old days of personal hygiene, that shouldn't be the benchmark. Most kids at school were greasy and smelly, me included for most of the week I'm sure Blush
So what?

There's a lot of things that were OK in the 1970s, that are not OK now. Smoking was rife - and acceptable, so was objectifying women, and sexual innuendo/sexual harassment,. And 15-16 year olds had no problem buying cider from the off licence, or getting served booze in the pub. None of THIS is acceptable now.

Just because SOME people bathed infrequently pre 1980s, and stunk, and were 'greasy and smelly' that's no excuse for poor cleanliness and bad hygiene now. We are better than that now. (SOME of us are anyway.)