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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How often should I shower?

999 replies

grosstonotshower · 12/01/2022 10:36

Ok so I'm having a few drinks with friends last night. We are all female a mix of parents and non parents. One friend mentions she is struggling to find time for o shower every day since she had her baby. I said "well I don't shower every day without a young baby," All of my friends looked at me in horror. Apparently even the ones with kids shower daily. Full disclosure I have two dd one under five and I work part time. I shower on work days plus one extra day so usually three times a week my days off usually consist of playing at home, walking dog, school run and maybe park. I would shower extra if exercising/having sex/on period etc. I bath my dc three times a week. My oh works out every week day so he does shower more than me. AIBD? (Disgusting 😂)

OP posts:
VanGoghsDog · 22/01/2022 12:11

@ghostmouse

I used to work with someone who only showered 2 or 3 times a week. She thought she didn’t smell. She did. She smelt. It was rather unpleasant having to sit next to her actually.

I don’t shower I have a bath every day instead. I grew up and lived in houses with no shower until 2015 (council house, no shower as standard until then) so I’ve always had baths, will in the summer shower in the morning before work l.

Only showering/bathing 3 times a week is a bit grim imo

How is it "grim" if people do a perfectly adequate wash on the other days? Showers dint have magical properties. It's still just water and soap.

And how the fuck do you know how often your work colleagues shower, that's a conversation I've never had at work. The person you're talking about obviously didn't wash properly, or not launder her clothes properly or change them too infrequently, rather than just choosing a different method of washing a few times a week.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 12:16

@ghostmouse

I used to work with someone who only showered 2 or 3 times a week. She thought she didn’t smell. She did. She smelt. It was rather unpleasant having to sit next to her actually.

I don’t shower I have a bath every day instead. I grew up and lived in houses with no shower until 2015 (council house, no shower as standard until then) so I’ve always had baths, will in the summer shower in the morning before work l.

Only showering/bathing 3 times a week is a bit grim imo

It's not grim. It's not. Just fucking stop with it ffs.
CounsellorTroi · 22/01/2022 12:19

Why can’t people get their heads around the fact that people wash on the days they don’t have a shower?

Bollindger · 22/01/2022 12:36

Because the internet lets people believe they are 100% right, as no one is in front of their face telling them they are wrong. In real life I bet they are really quiet

Billandben444 · 22/01/2022 12:44

Perhaps the ones who smell aren't washing their clothes often enough?

Charley50 · 22/01/2022 12:48

If I haven't sweated, had sex, covered myself in gloop, I don't always shower everyday. Can't be arsed, and it makes my hair frizzy. I have a wash at the sink instead.

bettertocryinamercedes · 22/01/2022 12:52

I shower twice a day - once before work and once before bed.

I actually hate the bedtime shower but dh does it so I've kinda gone along with it. Plus it's nice to be all clean for sex.

The evening shower is a quick one - and I wash my hair every second day or it goes a frizzy mess.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 14:40

@Billandben444

Perhaps the ones who smell aren't washing their clothes often enough?
This. You don't need to shower everyday to have good personal hygiene
Pd88 · 22/01/2022 14:53

Being brutally honest... If you don't shower everyday you're lazy and unhygienic. Everyday your body sweats, secretes and collects external dirt. I don't see why anyone would not shower every day.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Keepitonthedownlow · 22/01/2022 15:11

@Pd88

Being brutally honest... If you don't shower everyday you're lazy and unhygienic. Everyday your body sweats, secretes and collects external dirt. I don't see why anyone would not shower every day.
Ableist and nasty
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 17:05

Why the hell was my comment deleted? Ok then I will take the twat out. The poster is wrong, judgemental and ableist. Happy?

CounsellorTroi · 22/01/2022 17:11

@Pd88

Being brutally honest... If you don't shower everyday you're lazy and unhygienic. Everyday your body sweats, secretes and collects external dirt. I don't see why anyone would not shower every day.
No your skin does not collect dirt unless you do a dirty job. Like working on a pig farm. Or down a coal mine.
HacerSonarSusPasos · 22/01/2022 17:22

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

Why the hell was my comment deleted? Ok then I will take the twat out. The poster is wrong, judgemental and ableist. Happy?
You think going around calling posters a twat is ok? Confused

I was the one who reported you.

MagratsDanglyCharms21 · 22/01/2022 17:29

My uncle was retired, late 70s and only showered every two days. He said that he didn't do much, didn't really exercise and there was no need to shower more frequently. He smelt of BO and occasionally urine. I suspect that most people have no idea how they smell to other people!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 17:32

@HacerSonarSusPasos it is when they are being a twat yes. Is it ok to call people grim and lazy?

Bollindger · 22/01/2022 17:37

So long as you wash each day, how you wash is your choice. END OF.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 22/01/2022 17:55

[quote AllThingsServeTheBeam]@HacerSonarSusPasos it is when they are being a twat yes. Is it ok to call people grim and lazy? [/quote]
Yes. And you don't need to make the "obviously it doesn't apply to disabled people as they don't have a choice" disclaimer every time, because it's understood. Doesn't make you ableist to call a behaviour lazy or grim.

If I say "it's lazy and sad to have not read a single book in the past decade" people will understand that it doesn't apply to blind people, obviously. I don't have to spell that out. Why is that principle so hard to understand?

VanGoghsDog · 22/01/2022 18:11

@Pd88

Being brutally honest... If you don't shower everyday you're lazy and unhygienic. Everyday your body sweats, secretes and collects external dirt. I don't see why anyone would not shower every day.
That's not "brutally honest", it's unpleasant and just untrue.

Do people who bath instead of shower suffer from this? Or only people who wash instead of showering,?

And does it only count if they don't want to shower, as opposed to don't actually have a shower or can't shower?

I mean, I wash thoroughly on the days I don't shower and I certainly do not smell.

But you won't be able to wash away your unkind judgy nature.

VanGoghsDog · 22/01/2022 18:15

@MagratsDanglyCharms21

My uncle was retired, late 70s and only showered every two days. He said that he didn't do much, didn't really exercise and there was no need to shower more frequently. He smelt of BO and occasionally urine. I suspect that most people have no idea how they smell to other people!
Older men often have drippy willies. He might not have known And maybe he didn't wash his clothes very often. And maybe on the days he didn't shower he also didn't wash.

Given he's the only person you can think of who smells and about forty per cent of people on this thread say they don't shower daily - I think that shows that people who choose other ways to wash than a daily shower actually don't smell.

VanGoghsDog · 22/01/2022 18:16

@Bollindger

So long as you wash each day, how you wash is your choice. END OF.
Exactly!!

Noone is saying they don't wash.

VanGoghsDog · 22/01/2022 18:20

If I say "it's lazy and sad to have not read a single book in the past decade" people will understand that it doesn't apply to blind people, obviously. I don't have to spell that out. Why is that principle so hard to understand?

It is you who is misunderstanding.

By saying it lazy and grim not to shower daily, you are saying disabled people are lazy and grim. If you say (as many here have) that people who chose other ways to wash smell, then since some disabled people have no way to shower, you are saying they smell.

If you are saying people who don't shower every day smell UNLESS they are disabled, they are magically excluded from the non shower smellyness.....then you're being ablist.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 22/01/2022 18:24

Most people were arguing that:

  1. It is lazy and grim not to wash daily IF you are able to
  1. If you are able-bodied it's much easier to shower than strip wash at the sink

It is the two of you who are hell bent on twisting words and getting outraged over nothing.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 18:29

And it's done! Stupid fucking thread that it was.

I'm disgusted at the ableism on MN

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