To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight?

[5YearsLeft]

I had a day that just really banged me about, physically, emotionally, just all the ways, and now, I’m laying here awake and staring at the ceiling.

So why are you awake? Crying baby? Can’t stop thinking? Worried about something tomorrow? Pain somewhere in your body being an arsehole?

Welcome?

Also @LoveFall so sorry I missed you. Been hellish today/last night/tonight. But it sounds like you're really in it. You're not a whiner at all! When it hurts, it hurts! And it's so frustrating when you can't get the help you need and you're just trying to fix it. Unfortunately, rib injuries are just dreadful because there's so little that can be done with them; I hurt one during my first bout with COVID and I know exactly what you mean. Also, it's not TMI at all. There are so many types of pain that make time in the WC a nightmare for some of us at certain times, so don't feel badly. I'm just sorry you're going through it right now! I really do hope you took it easy today like DH recommended, because it sounds like something in you REALLY took a beating and needs a lot of rest and healing, and I hope if you did, that it helps a bit. But yes, if you're right about the rib, it will take quite a bit of time and being gentle with yourself. (And if there's NO improvement, definitely time to push those doctors!)

@5YearsLeft sending a 🤗
You must have been exhausted to fall asleep when you did. I hope you drift off after taking your meds ok today. Thinking of you.

I was very tempted this morning to do the sch run then go back to bed. Instead I went for a walk for 45 mins, did housework for a few hours including rearranging the girls bedroom, (not the heavy stuff), before sitting on the sofa for an hour before I collected them.

I find if I drift off in the day when I wake up I feel really heady for ages.

So here I am, awake. Just went to the loo. SN teen gets up and starts swearing at me and stamping her feet on the floor. Telling me I need to go to bed because I am annoying her then lets out more aggressive swear words and telling me I am a crap parent.

Feel on edge now. Going to have to try and sleep in a minute though because I am working tomorrow.

@RoseMartha Oh gosh, look at you! I don’t know if I would have been able to avoid the magnetic pull of my bed after the school run. But you! Going on a walk, doing hours of housework (even if it wasn’t “heavy” lifting), and then just an hour of sitting. Honestly, it’s worth celebrating.

But I’m so sorry to hear about your SN dd using abusive words with you. Knowing that she’s got SN, knowing she’s in a period of life where she doesn’t mean them, doesn’t make them hurt any less sometimes, I’m sure. You are NOT a crap parent, and you’re doing everything you can. Someday hopefully she’ll understand but even if she doesn’t, the fact she’s safe enough to say those awful things to you means that you’re providing the best home that you can (as odd as it sounds, and I’m sure you know this).

I don’t blame you for being on edge. If a partner said those things to you, we’d be telling you to LTB. But sometimes some SN kids (I realize there’s a huge range of diagnoses and behaviors) are so, so complicated - it doesn’t change the way you feel when someone says awful things to you, and of course you need something happy and comforting to take the edge off maybe so you can sleep. I hope you have a happy book or maybe something to watch, and then you can sleep before work tomorrow.

I’m awake watching my very poorly 2 yr old. He’s got COVID and high risk due to other medical issues.
I feel so very helpless. 😢

Screaming 1 year old. No idea why but refusing medicine so sat watching crap tv with her screaming in my face. I'm also coughing my guts up so hadn't fallen asleep anyway. Work will be fun

01.25am. Still working. (self-employed night owl).

@Jojobees I don’t blame you for being unable to sleep - that sounds so scary. Poor DS and poor you. Feeling helpless is awful, but I’m sure you’re doing the absolute best you can, and I do hope your DS gets through this as safely as possible

@lololololollll Oh good grief, that’s more than a bit difficult, having anyone (even if they’re age 1) scream in your face. I hope she’s okay and that this passes.

@Catra Well, good luck! and I hope you get all the work you need and want done in these small hours

Ugh. Awake again!! Pain now behind my thigh! Really is agony. Hope you are asleep?? Not sure Anyone would pay to see this particular Renaissance painting!!

@Coroico97 No sleep here. Still up to take my medication and I really overdid it today so feeling a bit extra unwell. Argh! So sorry to hear it didn’t work and you’re up again! That’s incredibly unfair. I’m sure it really is agony; I mean, our nerves are what can tell us we’re feeling some of the worst pains in the world (I’ve heard of people with the “suicide disease” caused by nerve pain). Im sorry you’re going through this! I really hope you can get back to sleep. As for that Renaissance painting, meh. People will pay for some truly amazing things. Modern art taught me that. Har har.

I'm awake because my baby has constipation (at least I think that's why she's up screaming the house down)!!! Also had a god awful day, we've been out bid on a house we had an offer accepted on last week today

Hope everyone else gets some well deserved rest!!

Ha! That’s true!! Sorry you are still awake and suffering. I think I took good health for granted. After the last six months I never will again. I have never had pain that just does not go away and that stops you doing simple things. And being bent over makes you look and feel so much more vulnerable. I had to travel on public transport a few months back for pre-op tests before steroid injection in my back. Bad idea. So painful so I had to walk slowly and awkwardly. You feel invisible as everyone (ie, me 6 months ago) rushes past doing their own thing.

@clouds56 that is so crap. So sorry about screaming baby and house. So unfair that is allowed to happen.

@clouds56 While I’m sorry about the screaming baby, the house thing is just, ugh, it really gets you. I understand everyone wants to make the most money possible but the gazundering and gazumping and whatever it’s called - I mean, why were they even accepting calls after they took your offer? I’m sorry and I do hope something even better comes along.

@Coroico97 What you say is really, really wise. As someone who will never live without pain again… I hope your operation works and you get completely better and you’re able to do all the things you want to do. Honestly, I hope you’re even better than before! But that maybe this will give you a small magic power. That now you’ll see the invisible people like you are right now, and like me until I’m gone. I think we all take health for granted, it’s not just you - since we can’t really be worrying about “what if”s 24/7. But for the rest of your life you may notice someone having extra trouble picking something up and help them, or trouble opening a door, or trying to reach an elevator in time or… the list goes on. I’m sure you’re already a kind person, but until it happens to us, we sometimes don’t see the little things around us. And I’ll definitely be thinking about you in the days up to your surgery (and in what I know will be maybe a bit of uncomfortable recovery?)! Please do let us know when it is, as I’ll send all the good vibes I can.

I'm awake because of the menopause. Since hitting it I can't get a full nights sleep. So sat in bed with a cup of decaf tea and MN.

@cushioncovers Nothing wrong with a cup of tea ever! Though it sucks the menopause is keeping you up. That bastard.

I posted a few days ago. Here I am again. My husband did indeed have someone else - our 4 year old daughters best friends mum honestly people don't be too smug when you read the threads on here - it might happen to you.

I have only just stumbled across this little community thread. It seems nice and gentle for those awake through the night

5yearsleft I hope the company gives you some comfort. You are facing one of the hardest things in life. I can't imagine how.

Modernidiot - I am so sorry, and you are so right! Often the husbands we think never would stray do. My Dad was the same. I always thought the sun shone out of his arse. Turns out he was a serial cheater. Although my Mum was vaguely aware but preferred to turn a blind eye as they also had a nice life together. I can certainly understand that approach, it is historically proven to keep couples together. It all got blown out of the water when he did fall inlove with someone so much that he wanted to leave my Mum.... after 36 years of marriage. He did leave. She was devasted. 2 months later he was back begging to come home as the grass really wasn't greener. She did take him back eventually and then they say they had the happiest 10 years of their marriage, before my Mum sadly died of cancer. There really is no accounting for folk and no perfect path to tread through life. Look after yourself try to get control of as much of the family finances as you can, is my only advice....

@modernidiot Sorry, I didn't get the tag thing right in my post above. I hope you are not feeling too wretched. It is a rotten thing to find out. I do often think that most of us humans really are not cut out for this monogamy we are pushed towards from a young age.

Thanks @Lessofallthisunpleasantness for sharing that, interesting.
It's comforting to know others are awake and connected to mn, even though some of you are suffering . Hugs.

@Modernidiot Oh god, I’m so sorry. What absolutely rotten news. And while I understand people can be smug about anything, none of us know what life will deal us so please don’t pay attention to anyone who acts like they have a perfect life or you should have known or whatever other crap people come up with. No smuggery on this thread. Just telling you, as always, be very gentle with yourself. He’s done something absolutely rotten to you, and so cruel, and I’m sure the pain is incredibly fresh right now, but you WILL get through this. Just one day at a time, or one moment or hour at a time if you need to. And besides, maybe there’s justice in the world and his penis will just shrink up and fall off While I’m joking, yes, it does take a special kind of bastard to blow up his daughter and wife’s life like that. And LessofAll has a point about the finances. Do make sure you’re protected because I can’t believe the mental gymnastics some men go through when it comes to taking all the family money.

@Lessofallthisunpleasantness Yes, welcome to the after midnight thread! Whatever’s keeping you up, even if it’s just the clock, we’re here.

Bio break, rehydrate and finally get to eat my lunch. NHS ICU.

Thanks @5YearsLeft, I was referring to myself being smug! I always rolled my eyes when they said they never saw it coming, cringed at them doing the pick me dance. It's really not so easy when it happens to you 😕

Surgery tomorrow - been totally overthinking the post op pain and living with crutches for a few weeks (knee op). Plus overthinking needing to rely on boyfriend of six months - he's bloody fabulous and I've told him I'm worried he'll get fed up whilst I'm recovering etc, he's been magnificent about it all but it's so good and I just worry it's a lot for quite soon into a relationship (although he's moving in soon so I really shouldn't worry and it's probably just another way for my anxiety to manifest!).

Long story short I've been awake since 3 and just found this thread and needed to chat!

I'm up all night with sick children again. It's endless. I suspect I have to get a pcr for the eldest and a GP consultation for the youngest tomorrow. And, you know, actually do my work too.
It's been like this almost constantly since October and I'm absolutely done.

@flipperdoda I'm sure everything will be fine. How lovely your boyfriend will be there to support you. On the plus side you will get drugs hope all goes well. Over thinking never lead to anything good x x