To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight?

[5YearsLeft]

I had a day that just really banged me about, physically, emotionally, just all the ways, and now, I’m laying here awake and staring at the ceiling.

So why are you awake? Crying baby? Can’t stop thinking? Worried about something tomorrow? Pain somewhere in your body being an arsehole?

Welcome?

@AffIt Ah makes sense re: maintenance work. And how do I always miss these amazing threads?? Dammit. I have the worst thread radar

Had my wisdom tooth out on Saturday and now In pain with the most awful taste in my throat. Pretty sure it's infected 😭

[quote 5YearsLeft]@AffIt Ah makes sense re: maintenance work. And how do I always miss these amazing threads?? Dammit. I have the worst thread radar[/quote]
My personal favourites have been:

• literally shaking
• kill all pets
• I aggressively fancy an 18-year-old

Absolutely 5* entertainment.

1st of my children (autistic) started with covid symptoms on Friday, 2nd one today. The 3rd is high risk and has exams at college Monday and Tuesday. Hating that my children are ill while also trying my hardest that the 3rd doesn't get it as this will not only impact his exams but will probably mean hospital treatment. One of the two who are ill is a recovering anorexic and has barely eaten for the last two days so I'm scared this is going to cause a relapse. I'm off work to look after them but I've only been in my new job a since the beginning of January and from what they have said so far I think they're going to use this as a reason to fail my probation. I got a letter on Friday to say the council calculated my council tax wrong and they want me to pay £511 in February. I have a leak downstairs and can't get it fixed cos the children have covid so can't let the maintenance man in to fix it. I am studying for a degree and have an assignment due Tuesday that I haven't started and now I'm too late to apply for an extension. I have a pain in my chest (right side) that won't go away with pain killers.

I can't sleep cos all I want is for someone to share all the above with me and hold me while telling me it will be ok.

@garlictwist Could it be dry socket? That would explain the taste and pain but it’s not exactly infection. Definitely need to call up the dentist or surgeon though. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. And if it is infection, definitely hope someone can help you in the morning. And remember the signs: if your face starts to feel hot to the touch, turns red, you get a fever, or you feel sick in yourself (nauseous, dizzy, etc), it’s A&E time as the infection may be serious and it can’t wait.

Watching the first few episodes of Married at First Sight UK. Just because I am wide awake and fancied watching something different. Haven't seen it since Bobby and Danielle got married and stayed together in the US version.

This being awake is a quite frequent occurrence, there's no particular reason

@AffIt Oooo! I did see “literally shaking.” Why are they ALWAYS literally shaking? I’ve only been literally shaking in my life when I was in actual serious pain, not… for anything else??? So funny and strange. And now I’ve seen the other, too. I was really hoping I could consider a dog in our next apartment since I’m home so much but now that I know The Purge might be coming, och, what to do

@Stormyinacoffeemug Oh no, that is just… too much to handle. Of COURSE you want someone to hold you and tell you it will be okay in that situation; who wouldn’t? That’s stress from every angle: two with COVID symptoms, autism, anorexia with a possible relapse, and a 3rd high risk child facing exams.

I know it’s all just… too much. Is there any chance you could email your professor and explain to he situation at least for your assignment? I understand the time limit on asking for extensions, but no one expects COVID to hit their family like it does and no one can control when it does. And I’m so sorry about your job. Don’t give up yet - they have to expect that they’re going to have a certain amount of even brand new employees having to deal with COVID fallout right now. No great answer for the council tax, but it seems like if they counted it wrong, they should offer you some time to come up with £511 because that’s a lot of money. Maybe calling them? I really wish I had a better idea.

I know it’s all awful right now, but you’ll get through these days and this week somehow. You really will. And it will get better. It’s just piling in at once at the moment.

@PepInYourStep Sometimes you just need some TV like that. I hope it was entertaining! As for being awake, some people just have it commonly during certain periods of their lives - your natural melatonin production gets a little bit squiffy and there you are.

So sorry to hear that @Stormyinacoffeemug you sound amazing and I hope someone IRL can give you a hand tomorrow 🤗

My dad died less than five weeks ago, and my mum died 14 months before that. Both had painful experiences of cancer, pancreatic and lung respectively, and both died at 62. My wider "family" couldn't care less and I'll never understand it.

My dad was very frightened when he died. He developed cancer cachexia and stopped eating. At the end I could see his whole heart beating and every join of the plates in his skull. He was too frightened, until he lost his mind in the last two days, of letting any medical staff near him or to leave for a hospice. So it was just me and him for the last few weeks and I didn't have the right skills to keep his dignity. It was such a mess. He was so very frightened.

I can't even properly talk about how my mum died. I'm awake because I'm frightened too, the fear keeps me up

Sympathies to all, especially my fellow insomniacs. I have been awake past midnight every night for a week and a half mainly because I injured a rib on my lower right side by slipping on melting snow and falling into a big slushy mud puddle. At least I think that's it. There is a bruise on my side there.

I tried to get an appointment with my GP early last week and there was nothing until this coming Friday, by phone. And the local urgent care or emergency require hours of waiting room time.

It keeps me awake despite paracetamol every night, which takes the edge off a bit. Tmi but it hurts to do #2 because any pushing hurts, which has generally been a pain for sure. I now take a fibre pill with my paracetamol!

It also hurts like heck to cough. Actually, after a day of trying to get things done everything hurts. I am planning to heed DH and take it easy tomorrow. I went a bit crazy with cooking dinner tonight.

What a whiner I sound like. But do not slip and crash into a slush puddle. My poor little dog just stood there shocked. Thankfully I managed to get back up but it was touch and go.

And of course when lying awake I get hot, then cold, then hot...

@crumblecrimble

I am so sorry about your parents. It is so, so hard to watch them decline and pass away.

I lost both mine the same week. Sleep was elusive for months. I found myself crying a lot and feeling angry when I went to bed.

It does get better. Grief never goes away but you do learn to live with it.

Take care.

@5YearsLeft
Ty. I went to sleep abt 1.20. My alarm has gone off and I am lying here making myself wake up to start the day. I have to make it matter of fact I think to get through it day/night in day/night out.
Because the day time is just as tough.

How are things with you now?

@5YearsLeft I got to sleep obviously as missed this! I am having a discectomy - they cut off the bit of whatever it is that’s squashing my sciatic nerve. Sometimes I read or stare at my phone! I’ve been like this for months! At least I don’t have this AND wakeful DC I guess. Poor you @Staffymumma. I remember those days!

Here are his splints. Hopefully they'll come off tonight.
And the sunrise when I went to let the sheep out this morning. Bit chilly.

@crumblecrimble
I'm so sorry. Losing your parents is really so hard, but to lose them in traumatic circumstances almost unbearable. My siblings death was awful and I understand how impossible it seems to stop reliving it.

The fear you mention.. is that of your own death? Of being without your family? I can relate to both, in fact I think of dying and death far more than is healthy. It's been all too obvious how temporary this life is.

I can only echo the notion that time makes it easier.. and send hugs xx

Splints off this evening and his pegs look pretty good. He's a very amenable chap. And so tall.

@crumblecrimble I worked for a while doing spiritual advising in a hospice and that meant we dealt with both the dying and their family members. And I can tell you that being the family member is SO, so hard, in a different way. You did not fail him, and please don’t think you didn’t have the skills as if it’s something you should have had - if that were the case, everyone would be an RN or a doctor working with the dying or everyone would work in hospice. There is no rule book for how you can possibly have met his needs during that time. It would just have been impossible. And the cachexia that often comes with the last stages of cancer is not a calm, pretty, peaceful death. Even though the body is in pain or the mind is so confused, the body can fight on, which is so unfair. In a perfect world, everything would happen at the same time, there would be no waits like that, but our world is so far from perfect. And I’m so sorry that you had to face one of its worst imperfections - sometimes death is not kind - alone, while trying to help your father when you didn’t know how.

To lose both your parents in a short period is something that I’m sure will take a while, especially when one of the losses was so, so traumatic. And I don’t blame you for having trouble sleeping - for fear of whatever sticks with you afterwards. I could tell you that it will eventually lessen, and it will, but I KNOW that doesn’t help you right now. Right now, you’re in a storm and the best you can do is weather it. Just know that, if you want to talk about it, if you need to let it out, sometimes THAT can lessen the fear. Sharing it. So that you don’t carry it by yourself. Even if it’s here on MN and you think we’re all strangers.

I wish you the best of luck in the coming days and weeks, and please, post all you need and whenever you can’t sleep.

@crumblecrimble
I'm so sorry to hear what's happened
I can feel the fear from what you write
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family
Sending lots of hugs xx

Hey all - it's the after midnight thread. Awake with COVID/kids/your own mind/grief/insomnia? Here we are!

Sorry to disappear! I actually managed to fall asleep last night at around 4am-ish and then today I was so exhausted, I fell asleep whilst typing on my phone at 430pm and didn't awaken until 10pm, so now my sleep is absolutely for crap AND I have to stay awake until at least 230am to take important medication.

@Wallywobbles So glad to hear the splints are off and he's doing well! Such wonderful pictures; thank you for sharing. He looks like a lovely little chap.

@RoseMartha I'm so sorry that daylight doesn't bring an easier time for you. I do know what that's like, though not your exact situation, but that feeling of, "Night hard, day hard - when the hell is it not going to be hard?!?" I hope you find some moments of rest in it, though I know that may be incredibly difficult. I just conked out today after trying to make it through two apartment visits and knew no more until 10pm. I'm lucky I woke up because I think if my body hadn't used the WC soon.... I might have messed the bed!

@Coroico97 Oh, I do hope it's successful and in a hurry! I'm sure you must be just desperate to get it over and done with. I hope the nights aren't too long while you're waiting for the surgery.

Thanks! Hope you have a better night than you think you will!! I am just trying to work out where best to position various hot water bottles and extra pillows before trying to get some sleep!! At the moment it feels like I have been kicked in the arse by a horse!! The pain is strange- never in the same place from one day to the next!!

Good evening again everyone..

I managed about 6 hours unbroken sleep last night!! While this was a very welcome change from the norm I'm now not particularly tired, so sleep feels far away again (never happy 😉)

So many of you having a really rough time of it.. hope tonight is restful at least x

@Coroico97 I've experienced some of my pain from nerves, and it's some of the strangest of it because it really does seem to move about (I suppose, along the nerves). And I've done that! It's like a bloody Renaissance painting - The Positioning of the Hot Water Bottles and Pillows So It Doesn't Hurt Like Hell, c. 1498. I do hope it all goes well for you and that you find the exact right position that helps you sleep.

@jowly Congrats on your sleep! Any sleep is good cause for celebration, but boy, do I know what you mean about it coming at the wrong time and then the night ends up a mess again. I hope maybe the tiredness kicks in for you so that the night can bring some sleep as well.