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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight?

999 replies

5YearsLeft · 12/01/2022 00:24

I had a day that just really banged me about, physically, emotionally, just all the ways, and now, I’m laying here awake and staring at the ceiling.

So why are you awake? Crying baby? Can’t stop thinking? Worried about something tomorrow? Pain somewhere in your body being an arsehole?

Welcome?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
AliveAndSleeping · 22/01/2022 02:19

I've eaten so much chocolate that I'm wide awake. I should sleep. Ds will wake up soon. And I'm stressed and sad for stupid reasons.

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 02:22

@AliveAndSleeping Oh no! Not too much chocolate! Now that’s truly dire.

But there are no stupid reasons to be stressed and sad. If they make you stressed and sad, they matter, whatever they are.

And I’m sure not sleeping when you’re sad and stressed and then needing to be up with DS is a bit tough.

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AliveAndSleeping · 22/01/2022 02:33

Gosh five years you are really nice. I have got a vague feeling that that should make me feel more crap about myself but actually I'm just grateful for the kindness. :-)

It was dire chocolate too. Too much nesquick powder mixed with too little milk. The alternative would have been raiding the thank you chocolates I got for our Very sweet neighbours. I'd like to think I'm not that pathetic but that ship has sailed after I ate dd's Christmas chocolates. The nesquick desperation was Very tasty actually for about the two seconds that it lasted.

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 02:40

@AliveAndSleeping Anyone who says they haven’t been there (“the chocolate seemed a good idea… for the two seconds it lasted”) is probably a liar. Oh gosh, hopefully it wasn’t WWII after the eating of the Christmas chocolates! But these things happen.

I’m guessing dire Nesquik still didn’t change whatever is making you upset right now? Because I’ve been there before.

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whatshouldIdoo · 22/01/2022 02:42

@5YearsLeft
Here is a little update photo for you

To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight?
Modernidiot · 22/01/2022 02:51

My husband has left me. I have to take dd to ballet in the morning. My heart is racing and I can't stop shivering. I think I'm in shock.

AliveAndSleeping · 22/01/2022 03:04

@Modernidiot

My husband has left me. I have to take dd to ballet in the morning. My heart is racing and I can't stop shivering. I think I'm in shock.
I'm really sorry. You might be in shock. If it helps just miss the ballet class tomorrow morning. You've got enough going on. Let DC watch some TV or something and either get some rest (looks like we all are going to be exhausted and sleep deprived) or just try and figure out what to do next. First please get some rest though.
Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 03:07

@whatshouldIdoo AAAAAA! So cute! That’s unbelievably cute.

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Aria999 · 22/01/2022 03:11

Oh no @Modernidiot that's awful! Sounds like maybe it was very sudden? Are you ok?

My excuse for being here is I live in America and I am waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for a computer game to download. Very mundane!

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 03:12

@Modernidiot I didn’t want to include this is the same message above but… that’s horrific and I’m so sorry. You probably are in shock and you need to treat yourself like you’re in shock if you can. Very gently. Warm, sweet tea (if you can stand it). Anything you find comforting and distracting (favorite TV show or book?). I can’t say how sorry I am this happened, and not just that but that you have to get up and take DD to ballet. Is there a friend you could call to take her? Another mum maybe? Say you’ve had a family emergency, because you have? Or would it be better to keep going so you don’t have time to just… sit with it? I can’t imagine how raw this is for you right now. I’m sending all the strength I have to you that you just have to make it through this morning and then you can figure out the rest.

And while your name may be a joke, I promise you’re not an idiot. No one deserves to be left like that.

OP posts:
Modernidiot · 22/01/2022 03:17

Thanks guys Flowers we had a bit of an argument a week or so ago about me being controlling. I started a new job just before Xmas and it's been stressful. I've taken it out on him :( I thought it was just a bump but he's obviously more upset than I thought. I hope I can fix it. But also being a mner I don't want to pathetically beg. I only posted on a thread a few weeks ago about how amazing he is.

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 03:17

@Modernidiot Also, treat the symptoms. Shivering? Wrap yourself up in lots of warm things. 25 blankets and a duvet and you may still shiver for a bit. Heart racing? I really would recommend treating this with distraction. It’s VERY real, your heart IS racing, but it’s from the stress your experiencing, so one of the ways to stop it, is to try to get your mind, even momentarily, off the stress if you can. It’s forcing your brain to “drop in” to your body, a bit.

Also, just to say, if this is permanent, this is terrible way to do it, and you don’t deserve someone who would do this. And if this is temporary, his way of acting during a fight or getting his way or punishing you for something, PLEASE know that this is emotionally abusive.

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SquidMonkey · 22/01/2022 03:18

@Modernidiot I am so sorry to hear this.

Sack off ballet and any other plans for the weekend.

You need support from your local friends/ family. It hurts like hell, especially when it's such a shock. People will want to help you, don't go through this alone. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 03:21

@Modernidiot While only you can know exactly what goes on in your marriage, and maybe he is amazing, leaving is not the solution if he has a problem. Walking out on you and DD is not a solution. This is not a healthy way for him to “fight.” So please consider that before you do anything. Maybe you have some blame (if you’ve been unkind to him and stressed?), maybe he has some blame too, but can you imagine a situation in which you would have just walked out and left him with DD? So just give it some thought and be kind to yourself.

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Modernidiot · 22/01/2022 03:21

Thank you so much vipers. I don't feel so alone now.
My username is a song by the wonder stuff, don't worry I haven't started on the self loathing yet.
Cute guinea pig 💗

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 03:27

@Modernidiot I’m concerned you say “yet” Grin Jokes aside, I really am sorry. And just want to echo what @SquidMonkey has said: let your friends and or family support you. It’s terrible when women in these threads say, “No, I have no one because I’m too embarrassed to tell my friends/ too sad to tell my family.” I would want my friend to call me immediately (after the sun’s risen) if they were in this situation, and I’d be there for them, and I’m sure yours feel the same.

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Modernidiot · 22/01/2022 03:29

You don't know how much these replies mean to me, thank you Flowers I will never forget them. I'm going to make a cup of tea, can't believe I didn't think of that!

SquidMonkey · 22/01/2022 03:37

Really @Modernidiot you'll be amazed how supportive people will be. Let them. Even us vipers!

You will be ok. At the moment of course it will feel like your whole world is disintegrating but you'll put it back together piece by piece and fuck him, he won't get to be part of it.

SquidMonkey · 22/01/2022 03:41

[quote 5YearsLeft]@Modernidiot While only you can know exactly what goes on in your marriage, and maybe he is amazing, leaving is not the solution if he has a problem. Walking out on you and DD is not a solution. This is not a healthy way for him to “fight.” So please consider that before you do anything. Maybe you have some blame (if you’ve been unkind to him and stressed?), maybe he has some blame too, but can you imagine a situation in which you would have just walked out and left him with DD? So just give it some thought and be kind to yourself.[/quote]
This. Any man who could walk out on his wife and child so easily is not someone you can trust. I am so sorry. 😔Thanks

Aria999 · 22/01/2022 03:44

It's not a very forgivable thing to do. He must be very caught up in thinking of himself and not of the rest of you.

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 22/01/2022 03:53

SHOCK CHECKLIST
Have you forgotten the tea? YES
IF YES, it’s shock.
Grin
(Shock is serious, and you’re going through something terrible, @Modernidiot just having a light moment because I went through something upsetting in early December and did the EXACT same thing - felt absolutely awful, and then didn’t make myself a cup of tea when I needed it most).

OP posts:
Modernidiot · 22/01/2022 03:57

Haha that made me laugh. I'm now warm after my cuppa and going to turn the heating off Grin

FlappyFish · 22/01/2022 04:09

Hi all! The baby piggies are adorable.

I’m awake as I had Gynae surgery today and hospital pain relief has worn off. Had a polyp the size of a grape removed and an ablation.

Hope all rest well. Lovely thread.

FlappyFish · 22/01/2022 04:10

And tea is always needed. Grin

Internaljukebox · 22/01/2022 04:10

Is anyone still awake here ? I'm sat in hubby's truck on my little floor bed while he's snoring away. I accompanied him on an emergency night run lol. Woke up about half an hour ago and am wide awake . Thought this might distract me from online shopping for things I don't really need! Xx