To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight?

[5YearsLeft]

I had a day that just really banged me about, physically, emotionally, just all the ways, and now, I’m laying here awake and staring at the ceiling.

So why are you awake? Crying baby? Can’t stop thinking? Worried about something tomorrow? Pain somewhere in your body being an arsehole?

Welcome?

Well I just took Cocaine so it's kinda hard to sleep but I feel great, I will sleep in about half an hour or so and then up early to bring the kids the school 🙈

Haven't slept for over 48 hrs,was suicidal earlier,then pulled back to wanting to self harm,lots of breath work and now just wide awake but exhausted.

@navydear

Well I just took Cocaine so it's kinda hard to sleep but I feel great, I will sleep in about half an hour or so and then up early to bring the kids the school 🙈

I had my appendix removed yesterday and the pain has woke me up.
It’s bloody sore!

I've got covid and can't stop sneezing!!!

Crap, I’m up again.

@swimchick1980 The loss anniversaries can be so hard. The date just rolls around every year and they’re still gone, and it’s really hard to ignore what the calendar is telling you when that happens - that it’s been another whole year without them here. I’m so, so sorry about your mum. Maybe I’ve mentioned this earlier on the thread, but these losses don’t go away and they don’t stop hurting. What they will do in my opinion, is start to hurt a little less each year, until the grief is no longer overwhelming. Good luck out there and take this

@Bizawit Ah, what a tiny age for a baby! I’m sure you’re int he part where they can do nothing wrong, despite possibly a few diaper explosions.

@whatshouldIdoo That’s amazing! I’m not sure I’ve ever seen baby guinea pigs straight fro the source. They’re absolutely adourable.

@BaggaTDoubleTroubleDoubleG Id have to agree that they look pretty amazing.

@YuleiamsaidI Oh no. This is such a hard thing. People say glibly that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but I don’t believe that at all. Someone considering suicide is a sick person, who maybe hasn’t been able to get all the help they need from doctors and NHS, and is trying to find some way to treat themselves and make the pain stop. And almost everybody has tried to treat something in life with one solution that may not have been the best at some point, so there is no one that can judge. I hope that you can get the care that you need, and I hope you realize that even if you don’t feel like it, you’ve done an amazing thing by surviving the day. You really have.

@Kilopapadelta I’ve had that surgery and it wasnt too much fun. It’s still abdominal surgery, so kick back if you can while you can, and let omoseome e=we=se you ca, and let someone else bring you tea.

@Russell19 Oh no, not the COVID coughing! THat stuff will keep you awake for days.
Fell better!

@Russell19 Oh wait, I read cough and it’s actually a sneeze. I think that might be one of the most annoying bits. Anyway, good luck!

I suffer from insomnia. Woke at 2.45am and 5am after only going to sleep at 1am. Had around 3.5 hrs sleep. Quite usual for me. Hate it.

@ofwarren about the size of a mouse. I wish I was a guinea pig, a couple of hiccups per pup and they were out, all fully formed and ready for the world.

@5YearsLeft thank you so much,waiting for Dr to call,hope you get some sleep tonight x

@5YearsLeft sorry to hear of terrible time at the hospital yesterday. There is such a huge issue with lack of caring and kindness in the NHS in my experience. I had an outpatient appointment today and my nurse consultant was bloomin lovely. If only they were all like that eh?
Hope you are improving - sounds like you have been through the wringer.

@5YearsLeft how are you doing. You must be such a strong person, you write with such positivity and yet you are going through the most difficult time I could imagine. How are you feeling??

Hello all. It’s that time again. What are you doing awake? If you need to just let it all out, if something is keeping you up and staring at the ceiling; this is the place. Usually, Friday I guys are slow but here we are.

I’ve been a little slow since COVID hit.

@YuleiamsaidI I know it’s late now, but I do so hope the doctor has called you by now and you’re on your way to help.

@Snog I’m so, so glad to hear about your lovely consultant. It makes appointments so much harder when the consultant is a complete arsehat.

@navydear You’re really kind. COVID hit when I was already down, then the hospital hit when COVID hit when I was already down, ha. I went home against the hospital’s advice because I knew if I stayed in the hospital by myself that night, I would probably have a mental break down (them trying to get blood three times from an artery and failing already felt like a big blinking Las Vegas “YOU’RE DYING” sign even though my logical brain knows it wasn’t). So the next day my neurologist had my take more of the medication I inject, I thought it had helped, until today when its normal side effect, a HUGE STONKING headache showed up. So I’ve been sleeping it off all day. But I’m very, VERY grateful that she had an idea and it helped.

So, if anyone is here tonight, as always, all are welcome, from those in hard places, to New guinea pig mothers ( those were amazing @whatshouldIdoo ).

I've just finished watching Mum's List and cried my eyes out through it 😢😢😢😢
I tested positive at the start of the week for covid and my child is not with me (only because she tested positive and was with her dad so she's there) and this is the longest I've ever spent away from her in her life.
I'm lonely and fed up now and it's starting to get me down.
@5yearsleft how is the covid for you?

Hope you are feeling better.

This is my 4th night off, having a few drinks before I'm back to work Saturday night.

@purpleme12 Oh gosh, I can't even tell you how sorry I am. There are no words to describe how awful that must feel for you, and I'm so incredibly sorry that you're separated from her right now. I know saying, "You'll be together soon," doesn't really help much when it's happening. It's absolute shite. What I will say is that I hope it's over as soon as possible and you see her again as soon as you can! And NO MORE SAD MOVIES until then! One movie for some crying catharsis, and it sounds like Mum's List was it, but no more. You need something funny or funny-naughty that you couldn't watch while your girl was around maybe. As for me, I'm doing a little better since I increased my medication. I got a great, big headache, either from the increased medication or the COVID, so all I've really got now, is the wretched sore throat (they're going to make me buy shares in the tea company with how much I'm drinking - it'll be the bloody East India Company all over again) and this crushing fatigue. I complained about my normal day-to-day fatigue, but this is so much more. How are your symptoms??

@vodkaredbullgirl While it sounds great having four nights off, I'm sorry it's the last of them! But at least it sounds like you're seeing them off the right way. Enjoy!

Thank you so much. No more sad movies!
I'm sleeping in my daughter's bed! I'm so pathetic!
But my cat's next to me keeping me company ❤️
I'm ok symptom wise. Was poorly earlier in the week. A bit funny today, feel asleep for a few hours even though I slept a good amount last night so wasn't expecting that. But nothing too bad.
I really hope your headache and tiredness gets better soon ❤️

My brain is too busy!

@purpleme12 Excellent rallying cry! "No more sad movies!" And that's not pathetic at all. Like you said, it's the longest you've been separated; I'm sure there are so many on here who would do the same. And hey! A cat is nothing to sneeze at (unless your'e allergic, ha). I'm glad to hear you're a bit less poorly, and I'm not surprised at all about the sleep. Everyone I've now talked to who has actually had it has mentioned that they've had a few days of falling asleep on their feet during it or sleeping at night and then still finding themselves with their eyes closed whilst sitting on the sofa. So I think that's just part of it? Hopefully, omicron won't become known as the "grandad variant" because it turns us all into people who fall asleep during every TV program and then wake up and say, "Ok, who's that? What's happening here?"

@Alysskea That is definitely a VERY common, and a good, reason to still be awake post-midnight! I have a few playlists I can share (Spotify or Youtube) if you want them, to help relax and turn off your mind? Or if you just need to think things through, the night is a good time for it.

Why are you awake tonight 5YearsLeft ?

I’m in the ‘temporary menopause’ stage of an IVF round and just can’t get comfortable. The hot flushes come on so I fling the duvet off, only to be too cold a few minutes later so pull it back, over and over…

Wondering if the anxiety is keeping me awake too.

I just gave up and went to put a load of washing on. Tried to bring the kitten back to bed with me but he scampered off.

@GodspeedJune Oh, that sounds so uncomfortable! I've been through hot flashes, and they're so damn annoying - like having mini-fevers that only last a few minutes, so exactly as you say, there you are cold again a few minutes later. My grandmother used to get them so badly that her glasses would fog up. I'm sure there are plenty of other parts of IVF that are difficult, too, and anything causing 'temporary menopause,' I would expect to play some merry hell with anxiety, in addition to anything you normally have to be anxious about, which as we all know, pounces on you after 1:34am. Like a kitten [grins] Well, except yours because it's scarpered.

Ah, me. My sleeping schedule is often off-kilter because I have a few serious health problems and all the ridiculousness that goes with them. I'm here maybe three out of four nights, but missed the last few because all of a sudden what I thought was a sore throat was COVID, and what I thought wasn't serious COVID, was a bit.

Mini-fevers is the perfect way to describe them! Your poor Grandmother! I’ve developed a keen understanding and empathy for any woman who has gone through menopause now.

I’m sorry you have health issues to juggle. I hope you’re feeling much better now - from the joys of covid at least? My Dsis had it recently and said the sore throat was the worst part. We sent emergency deliveries of ice cream to her.

Kitten has returned and snuggled down under the duvet now

@GodspeedJune I definitely hope the hot flashes pass for you and that you move on to the actual part of IVF that everyone hopes for soon. I've heard it can be such a long, hard, and sometimes lonely ordeal.

Yes, I was really surprised by the throat! I had COVID in March 2020 and there was absolutely no sore throat back then. So to have one now that was so bad that I was absolutely certain I had strep throat and not COVID at all, was pretty wild. Your sister was absolutely right. And you're brilliant for sending her ice cream deliveries!
Ah, good kitten. Doing the snuggling job properly now.

Thank you 5YearsLeft it’s been a long month but I begin the next stage on Sunday and apparently those drugs help with the side effects of the existing drugs. Fingers crossed!

A normal sore throat is horrid enough so it must have been challenging for you to deal with, then with the added delight of the other covid symptoms. These things come to test us, hey? I hope you’re able to rest while your body recovers, despite the sleepless night.

Yes he’s all sleepy and purring away now, very soothing. Let’s hope the two of us manage to join him soon.

@GodspeedJune I wish you all the luck with the next stage then, and hope it cancels out those hot flashes!