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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not agree with parents who still don't take Covid seriously enough

328 replies

HipsterMum · 11/01/2022 21:27

Alright here it goes another Covid related post. My husband and I lost 3 relatives due to Covid so we take it quite seriously. We have 2 kids and at the very start of pandemic we made a decision to have them stay at home with us and not in nurseries for a good year but obviously since our oldest has started school that was no longer possible. We both however still work from home.
We do socialize with people but take all the precautions we can (vaccinated/ meet outdoors with others/ masks at all times even outside / ldfs). I do however struggle to understand how even after all this time people do not follow those simple instructions (both vaccinated and unvaccinated).

So a recent incident that changed my relationship with another mum from my sons class (we were really friendly before). Lets call her Mandy. She is not Mandy 🙂Nothing against Mandys though. Anyway... So I was told that she had tested positive for covid 8 days ago over holiday period by her ex partner who dropped off her son. He told me that they've not had much contact with her since then so were not certain if she was feeling better and was gonna do a pick up (they take it in turns). I was invited with my youngest and my son for a cup of tea at hers after school by this other mum whose son my kid is also friends with. As I mentioned earlier we really try to take any precautions we can and I only said yes assuming it was just going to be for an hour or so and just us. I also only just gotten my booster jab a day earlier so really it wouldn't have had any effect yet in terms of giving me protection. So long story short at the pick up I see Mandy from the distance not wearing a mask and just chatting away with everyone. She mentions that its been 8 days now since first symptoms and that she didn't have it too bad just like a simple cold. Anyways.. we get going and happened to all be going together in the same direction. Kids being annoying little kids start saying that they were going to each others houses ... Mandys boy has a fit saying ' I want to go to his house too right now can we, can we '. And really in a very childish way Mandy goes 'aw darling you see you weren't invited this time'. I mean needless to say her boy starts being hysterical instantly . (What parent says things like that????) My other mum friend then goes ' well you can of course come too if you want' and then asks me if I wouldn't mind of course. I hate being put in this position but I had to be honest. I said that I ' ve only just gotten my booster jab and considering that its not been full 10 days since she had tested positive I don't think it would be wise. I apologised and said not to take it personally. I felt horrible that very instance. Her kid started crying , she was giving me really awful looks, my kid kept on asking me if we were going or not, my other friend felt awkward.

Guys I am honestly not a paranoid person but we all have different situations. I would have never thought of going out for the first time ( well 8 days after) and straight to other peoples houses without a mask. I mean how can you be certain if you are not contagious still?? We are having old friends coming over from Italy for a few days and my friend is 6 months pregnant. They are isolating before and asked us to be careful too. I cannot put her at risk . And regardless we all have our situations and sometimes as a result of Covid we just can't meet up with the same amount of people that we want. Needless to say that Mandy got very offended with me. Said I made a big deal over nothing because she was probably no longer contagious. That I made her son really upset. Ignores me during pick ups and drop offs. I feel so guilty although I was just being honest.

OP posts:
Nidan2Sandan · 12/01/2022 17:56

I am not concerned if she thinks I take covid too seriously because I do take it seriously. It doesn't make me overly anxious nor paranoid and doesn't disturb my life or my kids lives. COVID however does

Yet you were concerned enough to start a thread slating other parents who in your warped opinion dont take it seriously enough.

You're a hypocrite.

As for the LFTs, and whether she should say she was negative or not. I have never told someone random in the playground about any medical procedure I may or may not have undertaken, so why should people start doing this now.

It's none of your business. Go hide behind your mask and obsess about your own made up roolz and leave Mandy to her none rule breaking life. Sounds to me like she's had a lucky escape.

Nidan2Sandan · 12/01/2022 18:03

I ask if Mandy was still contagious

This is a joke right? 1) how could she possibly know this 2) it makes you sound utterly bonkers 3) you have no right to ask people anything to do with their medical history.

General consensus now is Omicron is contagious between days 2-5. So her saying "probably not" is literally her guessing, as even with a negative lft she cannot possibly know 100% for sure. But the likelihood is that she probably isnt, hence her response.

TizerorFizz · 12/01/2022 18:03

Well we all have now!!!

Halfabag · 12/01/2022 18:09

I voted YABU. Mostly because you wanted people to vote and you are 100% sure you have nothing to feel unreasonable about.

Why post?

HipsterMum · 12/01/2022 18:16

@Nidan2Sandan

I ask if Mandy was still contagious

This is a joke right? 1) how could she possibly know this 2) it makes you sound utterly bonkers 3) you have no right to ask people anything to do with their medical history.

General consensus now is Omicron is contagious between days 2-5. So her saying "probably not" is literally her guessing, as even with a negative lft she cannot possibly know 100% for sure. But the likelihood is that she probably isnt, hence her response.

I wouldn't have asked anything if Mandy wasn't going on about her being sick with Covid for the past 8 days who asks anyone about medical history? I did however say I was meeting a vulnerable person very soon so didn't want to take chances staying indoors with more than one other household. I didn't ask Mandy for any proof it was just based on the fact that she only just came out of isolation and I didn't want take any chances
OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/01/2022 18:18

Well you've already said that she had stated that she hadnt been sick and that it was just like a bit of a cold

Quartz2208 · 12/01/2022 18:21

So if you have made up how come she still ignores you at drop off and pick up?

HipsterMum · 12/01/2022 18:22

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall

Well you've already said that she had stated that she hadnt been sick and that it was just like a bit of a cold
Hahahahah mumsnet is insane. My title literally says Covid. What cold.
OP posts:
Ffsmakeitstop · 12/01/2022 18:29

@HermioneWeasley

You are being ridiculous about this - to healthy people this variant is no worse than a mild cold. You and your kids are not at any risk.
It's not the only variant out there is it? You did the right thing op.
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/01/2022 18:29

@HipsterMum you say in your first post

"She mentions that its been 8 days now since first symptoms and that she didn't have it too bad just like a simple cold."

And now you are saying she was going on about being sick

At least try to remember what you've written 🤣🤣

BlueSky8 · 12/01/2022 18:32

You honestly need to read through all your comments op because you say one thing. It gets questioned, then you question where they've got it from 🤣

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/01/2022 18:37

Exactly, other wise it just looks like you're making things up because you don't like the replies you are getting

GabriellaMontez · 12/01/2022 18:49

Your visitor is travelling to you via an airport, plane and who knows what else? Tube? Taxi?

But you are limiting yourself to an arbitrary 1 other family. What an interesting Web of rules you have in place.

Nidan2Sandan · 12/01/2022 19:00

I wouldn't have asked anything if Mandy wasn't going on about her being sick with Covid for the past 8 days who asks anyone about medical history

Well, you asked her about her medical history. You asked her about being contagious. That is medical.

popppi · 12/01/2022 19:01

I think you were fine OP. Mandy sounds like a delight Confused

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/01/2022 19:03

Yeah your friend seems fine putting herself at risk when it suits her. I hope she's not flying , exp just caught it flying our dcs back here from Ireland. Its not the best time to be travelling if you want to avoid covid

amicissimma · 12/01/2022 20:00

"What cold."

In your OP you say: "... she didn't have it too bad just like a simple cold. "

HipsterMum · 12/01/2022 20:08

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall

Yeah your friend seems fine putting herself at risk when it suits her. I hope she's not flying , exp just caught it flying our dcs back here from Ireland. Its not the best time to be travelling if you want to avoid covid
What my friend has got to do with the thread?. She's been already isolating for way over 10 days after her flight for separate reasons that are none of anyones concerns especially not mandys (people here mentioned that I owed her a detailed explanation apparently). We met at the school gate couple of months ago. She believe i owe her and her son the world and an invite to everything. What does my friend and her travel arrangements have got to do with my posts??? Maybe she is travelling to attend a funeral? Or you believe is is more likely to pass on Covid because she is simply a foreigner? Whilst a local Mandy leaving her isolation after 8 days without a negative lfd should go about doing whatever she wants and nobody can politely say ' look love I am sorry but I don't think its wise to meet indoors in a closed space just yet'. Wtf people.
OP posts:
HipsterMum · 12/01/2022 20:11

@amicissimma

"What cold."

In your OP you say: "... she didn't have it too bad just like a simple cold. "

You lost me completely. Mandy has had Covid. She calls it just a cold because she doesn't believe people get serious ill with it and that it is all just a big nonsense. I have a slightly different stand since my initial post.
OP posts:
BlueSky8 · 12/01/2022 20:16

What my friend has got to do with the thread?

Because you said you didn't want to risk going to friends house from school because your friend coming from Italy!!

I give up on this honestly you've got no idea of the things you've previously wrote.

Itsnotdeep · 12/01/2022 20:24

Look, you're entitled to decide what you want re your risk levels, but my personal view is that you're completely OTT.

TheKeatingFive · 12/01/2022 20:29

I give up on this honestly you've got no idea of the things you've previously wrote.

There's a lot to keep up with 😂

notyouagainn · 12/01/2022 20:34

I think your fine to do that and other people should understand. If she's being funny about it she is being unreasonable. If the other friend hadn't checked with you then you probably would have had to bow out but as she did you were right to say how you feel.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/01/2022 20:41

You are the one who said you don't want to risk it because of your friend

"Or you believe is is more likely to pass on Covid because she is simply a foreigner?"

Oh do behave yourself 🙄

HipsterMum · 12/01/2022 20:59

@BlueSky8

What my friend has got to do with the thread?

Because you said you didn't want to risk going to friends house from school because your friend coming from Italy!!

I give up on this honestly you've got no idea of the things you've previously wrote.

I didn't say I didn't want to go the friends house literally anywhere. You making things up then someone else reads you making things up and adds fuel to it. Mumsnet is absolute nonsense.
OP posts:
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