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Original poster

Weird message sent from boyfriend's phone

581 replies

Mikeythecat · 11/01/2022 16:48

I don't know what the heck is going on here.

I don't live with my BF.

This morning I got a message saying: "Good morning, good luck, have fun, night night".

So I sent: "?" in reply.

These are all things he would probably text me throughout the day. I thought at first that he was being grumpy with me. I've not had a lot of time recently and this tends to be the pattern of his messages. We say morning, I say how busy I am, he says good luck, we have a chat in the evening, he says have fun (if watching a TV series or going somewhere with DD) and then we say night. I tend to only see him at the weekends. So, I thought he was being a bit sarcastic (as in sending the day's messages all in one go and maybe being a bit grumpy - as in - "this is all we ever say to each other" iyswim.

An hour later, I get this message: "POF Username39". The username was his email name. The 39 is the area we live (not in UK).

My next message was: "What are you trying to say? Are you on POF?"

I've had no response.

What the hell is going on? I know you don't have the answers, but I could do with a bit of support. I think he's about to tell me he's cheating or dumping me, or maybe the woman he's with got hold of his phone and it was her way of telling me. I tried to ring him, but he didn't answer.

I have a load of work to do tonight. I missed a deadline today because of this. I've been so upset.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
pilates · 11/01/2022 19:12

You need to focus on your job and get your work finished. If he is cheating on you you don’t want to lose your job as well. Deal with him tomorrow face to face.

TooMuchSugar22 · 11/01/2022 19:12

Can you set up a new email address and then set up a pof account with that. Use a different name like Sarah Smith or jenny Phillips or Whatever.

ClemDanFango · 11/01/2022 19:13

His replies seem so strange. Are you sure it’s him? Could his phone have been hacked or stolen and someone is messing with you? Doesn’t explain the POF stuff though. Very odd.

MorkandMandy · 11/01/2022 19:13

Ah I missed the update, I think he was being arsy in first text then actually sent POF meant for someone he was texting simultaneously then got defensive/ catastrophic about that so he’s doubling down.

Opus17 · 11/01/2022 19:15

I'm really sorry, op. The fact he won't pick up tells me he knows he's messed up here and doesn't know what to do now.
Sounds like he's sent you a message with his username that was for another woman.

I would just reiterate you want to speak to him on the phone and talk whatever this is out.

MissAmbrosia · 11/01/2022 19:15

Has someone nicked or hacked his phone?

Pumperthepumper · 11/01/2022 19:17

@HaveringWavering

He has a history of MH problems and is saying he is depressed and having intrusive thoughts. Jesus, the BEST case scenario now is that he has been on POF! Surely you’d check on him just in case?
Exactly this. What a weird thread this is.
Interrobanger · 11/01/2022 19:18

@BoredZelda

So many POF threads nowadays.
I’ve noticed that too. Although if it’s stealth advertising it’s not doing much good - makes it sound like it’s full of cunts.

I think if I was single I’d rather wank myself raw than ever date a guy off POF.

KurtWilde · 11/01/2022 19:18

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

It sounds as if you don't have room or time in your life to give him the attention he wants. So I'd say the best thing for both of you would be to end the relationship.

Let him find the person he wants, and give you the peace you need.

I'd agree with this.

Also of course you have your DC and parents so can't just disappear off to see what's up with him, I'd forgotten that bit.

Not much more you can do if he won't answer his phone.

ZettaaY · 11/01/2022 19:18

The simplest explanations are often right, he messaged the wrong person and it wasn't meant for you, he's still using or restarting using these sites.

No one is hacking the dp phone just to send a pof username and some passive aggressive messages.

ilssagain · 11/01/2022 19:21

It does sound like he's on POF and other sites.
You don't need this crap in your life.
I'd just leave it now and let him get on with it. See how long it is before he contacts you again. if ever

Lachimolala · 11/01/2022 19:24

@BatshitBanshee

See if you can search on POF first before you freak out but it sounds like someone has taken his phone and is trying to clue you in if he's cheating.
I thought this.
BoPeeple · 11/01/2022 19:25

Could his phone have been hacked? That’s the most likely explanation to me.

Viviennemary · 11/01/2022 19:28

He is fed up of the relationship as its going nowhere and he is now on the look out for somebody new. Thats my take on it.

ShirleyPhallus · 11/01/2022 19:29

@BoPeeple

Could his phone have been hacked? That’s the most likely explanation to me.
This is really really not the most likely explanation
OneTimeThrowAway · 11/01/2022 19:30

Why would you be sending someone (he'd presumably met on pof) his pof profile?

OneTimeThrowAway · 11/01/2022 19:30

Sorry why would he be sending...

Original poster
Mikeythecat · 11/01/2022 19:31

He's saying he sent it to me because he was "very sad" and "that's all" and that he's sorry.

I asked what I was supposed to understand from a message like that.

No response yet.

I really want to cry and cry, but my mum is pottering around (I don't want to upset her), the kids are in their rooms. My dad is trying to sort out the plumbing because water is backing up into the shower. I keep telling him to leave it because it needs a plumber. I'm trying to finish my work (but keep coming back here to read your messages). It all feels mad.

OP posts:
roseberrycherry · 11/01/2022 19:31

This relationship seems very strange! You have been together 7 years!!! Not 7 months. I'd demand answers or at least go and check on him.

Coffeepot72 · 11/01/2022 19:32

Definitely go round and see him

Original poster
Mikeythecat · 11/01/2022 19:33

@OneTimeThrowAway

I reckon he's telling her who it is. They haven't told each other their real names yet, but swapped numbers. He's said "hi", she's said I don't recognise this number", he's said "pof username30". He's telling her who he is.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 11/01/2022 19:36

"What was the intention behind sending me the POF username?, I want a clear answer or I'm going to assume that we're finished"

I'd send him that and if he doesn't respond quickly and explain clearly then I wouldn't bother speaking to him again.

It sounds like he sent you the username by mistake, now he's talking in riddles making you so anxious and confused that when he goes back to normal he will hope to have got away with it!

ZeroFuchsGiven · 11/01/2022 19:38

In what world are you in a relationship with this man? 7 years and You can't pick up the phone and have a conversation? Confused

debwong · 11/01/2022 19:40

@ZeroFuchsGiven

In what world are you in a relationship with this man? 7 years and You can't pick up the phone and have a conversation? Confused
Try RTFT?
PrincessPaws · 11/01/2022 19:40

The op has said several times that he won't answer the calls