Weird message sent from boyfriend's phone

[Mikeythecat]

I don't know what the heck is going on here.

I don't live with my BF.

This morning I got a message saying: "Good morning, good luck, have fun, night night".

So I sent: "?" in reply.

These are all things he would probably text me throughout the day. I thought at first that he was being grumpy with me. I've not had a lot of time recently and this tends to be the pattern of his messages. We say morning, I say how busy I am, he says good luck, we have a chat in the evening, he says have fun (if watching a TV series or going somewhere with DD) and then we say night. I tend to only see him at the weekends. So, I thought he was being a bit sarcastic (as in sending the day's messages all in one go and maybe being a bit grumpy - as in - "this is all we ever say to each other" iyswim.

An hour later, I get this message: "POF Username39". The username was his email name. The 39 is the area we live (not in UK).

My next message was: "What are you trying to say? Are you on POF?"

I've had no response.

What the hell is going on? I know you don't have the answers, but I could do with a bit of support. I think he's about to tell me he's cheating or dumping me, or maybe the woman he's with got hold of his phone and it was her way of telling me. I tried to ring him, but he didn't answer.

I have a load of work to do tonight. I missed a deadline today because of this. I've been so upset.

Didn't want to read and run OP, I agree with the theories that he has been messaging somebody else then cocked up. The weird "What can I do for you?" messages are so bizarre. I hope you're alright.

OP this is not about you, this is all about him. He’s playing immature games. I met a couple of guys like this years ago in the early days of meeting people online and they were fucked up. They both liked to blame their poor mental health but in the end having a mental illness doesn’t make you an immature dickhead. They also sent really stupid and manipulative text messages. Like this it started off obscure, then a wee bit nasty and then oh but I’m so mentally ill.

Honestly you deserve better. You’re a catch (a strong independent woman ffs! Wear it like a beautiful outfit) and if this nerdy weirdo can’t appreciate that then ditch him and bide your time, until someone who can, comes along.

Ugh, honestly it sounds to me like he’s sent you that first initial message passively aggressively because he feels you don’t talk enough throughout the day. And then as you’ve suggested, he’s on POF, has messaged someone and they aren’t sure who he is so he’s went to send his username and accidentally messaged you. Panicked, radio silence all day while he thinks of how he’ll play this one down and he’s chosen the “oh, I’m so sad and lonely” approach to make you feel sorry for him and forget about the earlier texts.
Used to deal with shit like this from my ex and it truly is pathetic. I hope you get honest answers from him soon, or find out for yourself, but I can’t see this being anything innocent. Sorry op x

I'm really sorry you are feeling this way, and have to go through this. Some men are just dicks.
If he is on POF, he's not even worth the tears or anything you are feeling.
Has he answered the phone yet? Has he replied to the POF situation yet?

Don't let this get you down, hold your head strong and show him, he shouldn't have messed about. ,💪

I think your suspicion is correct OP, what's the alternative explanation for the POF username? And the Google results. There's no other explanation is there? He's either accidentally messaged you meaning to send it to another woman or he's trying to passively aggressively warn you that he's unhappy with the set up from the first message then the POF username. Either way it's completely shit behaviour. I'd be saying you want a proper conversation tonight or you can only assume that the relationship is over.

Yes I would - tell him to grow up and speak to you properly like an adult or you’re calling it a day. Say that you’ve spent half the day trying to figure out what is going on, and you’re not wasting a minute longer if he can’t be polite enough to reply.

OP you sound like a lovely person, who puts her family first, is very capable, and has learned from past mistakes. Please don't make this ridiculous behaviour about you - it's all about him. He sounds very immature. You don't have to "settle" for this man, just because you think your circumstances mean he's the best on offer. Forget about men for a while, work on your self esteem - in the meantime circumstances change, children become independent etc, and you are suddenly in a different position. Find better ways to spend your weekends. 💐

Sounds like a glitch to me.

You sound like you have a lot on your plate. This man seems to be trying to add to it after he has cocked up and is now blaming mental health issues. What's with the "how can I help you?"?!

He does not deserve you, even if there is an entirely innocent explanation his lack of reassurance speaks volumes to me.

Listen to your gut instincts, mull things over, and remember that you matter

Are you sure it’s not some sort of bot that is sending messages to your phone rather than your boyfriend?

[quote Mikeythecat]@OneTimeThrowAway

I reckon he's telling her who it is. They haven't told each other their real names yet, but swapped numbers. He's said "hi", she's said I don't recognise this number", he's said "pof username30". He's telling her who he is.[/quote]
I think you probably have guessed correctly OP. Thats what I would assume too.
You see, if he cared, he would rush to pick up the phone to reassure you, he'd drive to you, he'd make sure this was sorted out today.
He's ignoring your calls, he's making a pity party for himself with his sad. He's screwed up by sending you the wrong message and he can't figure out how to get out of it.
Even his first reply 'How can I help you' is extremely shitty. I'd imagine he fleetingly thought he'd pretend the number wasn't his until he realised he can't do that.
But OP his extremely shitty and cowardly behaviour has nothing to do with your weight, your children, your parents. This is all on him. Do not let him gaslight you by saying he's lonely, too much time on his hands or any other excuse that would somehow make you forgive him for going on a dating site and exchanging messages with another woman. This is his own doing.
If he wasn't happy with the set up you both had, then he should have been adult enough to meet and discuss the future. He sounds awful Simply awful. I think he was extremely lucky that with a character like his, that he ever met you - a woman who has it together, who cares for other people, who is a single parent and is holding down a full time job. You have so much to offer someone. This man is a despicable coward with no respect for any woman. It doesn't feel like it now but you are well rid of this excuse for an adult. You will be ok OP. You really really will be ok.

I don’t think you need this man in your life OP.

POF stuff aside ( although that is not looking good - sorry) it is fine for him to be sad.

It is bloody not fine to make you miserable as well.

He is a big boy. If he cant stop messing with your head with nippy and cryptic texts and pick up the phone and talk to you, then you don’t have the relationship you think you have.

He has messed up by the sound of it. He is now messing with you so you don’t know up from down and he’ll be worming his way back in with a plausible (to him) explanation as to why you got the POFstuff. He is playing you and playing for time.

Don’t be upset. Get ruddy well angry.

You deserve better.

Yeah I was a bit concerned earlier when you said he has MH issues but the POF text and your theory on how it came to you make perfect sense, and now he is showing what a maggot he is by gaslighting you and refusing to engage like an adult. Sorry he has turned out to be a juvenile asshole.

Register with a different email addy?

But honestly, at the very least he sounds pathetic and manipulative.

And he’s prob pissing around on dating sites. Dump dump.

I reckon he thought he was messaging ow, then the ?, he sent his username as confirmation of his identity. Then realised he'd ballsed up and messaged you and is trying to deflect but very poorly.

Sorry op.

Just phone him and ask him what's going on?!

@DroopyClematis

Just phone him and ask him what's going on?!

Have you read any of OPs replies?!

Hopefully it's all innocent xxx

@Dancingonmoonlight what a supportive and eloquent post. I hope it helps the OP.

F

The second message is totally weird.

Gosh why doesn’t op just call him seems she hasn’t thought of that !!

Ffs . Rtft

I get what you're saying OP and agree it sounds like he was saying who he was to a new match during their first contact off the website. I'm sorry.

He was clearly talking to another woman and was letting her know what his profile was. Prick.

I don’t know what kind of “glitch” people think this could be. Why would a bot be messaging someone saying that they were sad after a message about POF? I mean come on.