To tell OH I am no longer washing his dirty pants?!

[GrilledCheese27]

Name changed to avoid being linked to my pregnancy/bump group!

Together 3 years, great relationship, amazing man. Currently expecting our first baby together. BUT (and it's a big but!)...

The man has skid marks in his boxers almost daily. I've broached the subject numerous times, told him to sort it out. Wipe properly (he says he does, but sometimes it's "impossible to, it'll take ages" (?!). The final straw was this morning as I was making the bed. Skidmarks on the bottom sheet. When he came upstairs to say goodbye before he left for work I told him he needs to change the sheets. There is shit marks and I am not touching it. I also told him I'm no longer washing his boxers.

He does have IBS, he is a very (read EXTREMELY) windy person and I don't mind this as it clearly cannot be helped. Wiping your arse properly is a choice though! I'm 29 weeks pregnant with a very annoying hemmeroid and my pants are always clean! He showers every single morning without fail so he's generally a very hygienic person.

I don't want to embarrass him but I don't want to be involved in the shit show, literally! I am going to ask him to wear pyjamas in bed from now on but is it an overreaction to ask him to perhaps go to the Dr's?!

IBS is a medical condition, not cleaning yourself is not. Unbelievable how some people on here will make excuses for anything.

He has a medical condition but he’s an adult and therefore needs to manage it and needs to manage the household issues that arise from it.

Yes it’s embarrassing for him but he needs to get over it and deal with it.

He might want to look at dietary adjustments that might help and see his doctor. In the meantime buy a separate laundry basket for his stuff, pants on in bed and he needs to clean up any issues that arise.

As you are pregnant you need to remind him of the risks to you and baby of UTI’s so having clean bedding is a basic requirement.

I am on your side! There is possible an additional thing that could help. As a man with a little (ha!) hair growth in the crevice, I can say positively that a little manscaping was a huge help for me. Not completely away because that would itch but a little trim down and (I’ve had people look at me funny) wiping in both directions. One can wipe clean only going in the usual direction and reverse and find that you weren’t actually. Moist wipes after are a must. I’m speaking from experience.

There is something called water!!!
Use toilet rolls and then water, problem solved

Medisupplies do soluble laundry bags ( 50 for £7.99) just google the company. They are red, large plastic bags that you knot with laundry inside, pop into the machine and dispose of when wash is finished. These are used in nursing homes, hospitals etc... I had my gall bladder out 2 years ago and since then have had slight leakage, trust me it's grim I can wipe till I'm sore and still have marked underwear it really cannot be helped I also suffer with IBS which doesn't help. It is a medical condition as it's not something we 'choose' to do trust me.

He could wear one of those big pads, like the ones used in care home,when people sometimes are incontinent, or have some leakages of some sorts.

I'm surprised he doesn't have a sore bum with not wiping properly. I suffer from IBS & if I miss the slightest bit of poo when wiping my bum itches & gets sore. I recommend you buying him some baby bum cream, using it every time he goes to the toilet. Otherwise could he have piles? They make wiping difficult & can cause weeping & leakage. You need to persuade him to see his doctor as they can be sorted with cream & suppositories the very easily.