Men who ‘hold court’ at lunch / dinner parties and in general

[koalacat]

This is really annoying me now and so I wanted to ask if anyone can relate to what I mean. I’m afraid to say my husband has these tendencies - but he is far from alone. They seem to dominate the conversation, they don’t speed up, they pause and expect everyone to wait. I find it very entitled and it’s nearly always men who do this in my experience. Even today I have had this. They go on and on. AIBU?

(So I am always very amused when a transwoman hogs all the airtime in a talkshow to explain how female they are. 😂)

Happens all the time in meetings at work

It’s so annoying the backslapping and blokey banter is time wasted to boost each other’s egos

@Sheabutterisdelish

Yes boring, middle aged white men usually

Well done, that's a lot of boxes ticked!

@Thirtytimesround

It is definitely a male thing. I was taught about it in English language lessons at school, and we’d study recordings of conversations and eg write down how much airtime the speakers took up and who interrupted or gave way etc. As a general rule (and yes there are exceptions blah blah):

• female speakers try not to talk for too long, and if someone hasn’t spoken for a long time, the female speaker will try to draw the quiet person into the conversation eg with a question
• male speakers compete with women, and with each other, to hog as much of the airtime as possible.

So odd.

Interesting that you were taught about this.

Thirtytimesround
It is definitely a male thing. I was taught about it in English language lessons at school, and we’d study recordings of conversations and eg write down how much airtime the speakers took up and who interrupted or gave way etc. As a general rule (and yes there are exceptions blah blah):

• female speakers try not to talk for too long, and if someone hasn’t spoken for a long time, the female speaker will try to draw the quiet person into the conversation eg with a question
• male speakers compete with women, and with each other, to hog as much of the airtime as possible.

So odd.

I'm glad an expert has finally come on that was taught about this.

Wasn't there a woman who represented how long men and women talked (work meetings/ parliament, can't remember) in her knitting? She would knit in 2 colours, one for when men talked, one for when women talked. The colour for men dominated hugely, with much smaller sections in the colour for women.