Anyone join me in being really angry theyre a single parent?

[coodawoodashooda]

Today I have been in such a bad mood and that's why. I can't shake it off. Bastard and his meagre child maintenance that wouldn't even buy a bloody pair of shoes. All the friendships that I have lost. I am so lonely, fed up, skint and angry. Anyone else?

@coodawoodashooda

Bastards. And the law does absolutely nothing to punish them for their baatarding behaviour. Meanwhile i get more fat, knackered and lonely. I don't understand why society is so accepting of men who behave like this.

I judge those men OP & think single parents are amazing! I realise this doesn't help you feel better. But don't think we all ignore how shit these men are. Their kids will also judge them in the long run.

I have been there, I was numb, sad and then angry and then realised it was eating up so much energy all that anger and managed to redirect it to executing a 5 year plan to make things better for us.

I watched my mother be angry and bitter for over 25 years and I didn’t want that to be me.

So get all your anger and frustration out and then start on a more worth while project because the anger changes nothing, he’ll still be a shit bag and you still be a struggling single mother if all you have is anger.

I am angry at him fucking himself and therefore our marriage up; I’m angry that my kids are hurting and that I’m exhausted and lonely. I hate not having someone to run through the big problems with and help me figure out the best course of action. Going through something serious with DD1 ATM; don’t want to worry my parents with it, he’s absolutely fucking useless, won’t even engage on the subject of her mental health because he knows half of her issues are his fault. I’m angry I have to clear up his mess still.

I am however delighted to no longer live with a disordered fuck wit.

I feel like I've reached the end of my tether with being a single parent after 6 years of doing it from when my son was a baby. I work full time with no local support and luckily don't have any money worries but my god it is so BORING.

I am beyond fed up and bored of the monotony of the school run and staying in every single evening. I've started fantasising about turning up with a van full of my son's toys and taking them to my son's dads house and becoming fun weekend mum. Why do mums have to do the daily week day drudgery ???

Cuddlemequick he is 13

I think maybe a week might be good but I don’t want him to go live with his dad I think I would end up losing him

YANBU.

Sometimes I manage to feel at peace with it. Other days I am overcome with burning rage.

Oh and I’m really angry that I wasted my beauty and youth on a total waste of space

I hate that I can’t date or meet anyone else I feel trapped, I’m literally with my kids 24/7 unless they are at school meanwhile my ex can start a new Life for himself and pretend he doesn’t have kids, I haven’t dated or been with anyone else in 5 years and I miss it.

@TeachesOfPeaches

I feel like I've reached the end of my tether with being a single parent after 6 years of doing it from when my son was a baby. I work full time with no local support and luckily don't have any money worries but my god it is so BORING.

I am beyond fed up and bored of the monotony of the school run and staying in every single evening. I've started fantasising about turning up with a van full of my son's toys and taking them to my son's dads house and becoming fun weekend mum. Why do mums have to do the daily week day drudgery ???

So many women told me to just pick my stuff up and walk out when dickhead announced that he had had an affair and he was so sorry but he didn’t feel that working on our marriage was the right thing to do. Literally everyone said you should’ve just told him what I’m so sorry to hear that and it’s very kind of you to set me free. And just got up and gone. I couldn’t do it.
You do definitely have fantasies though about how it might have turned out

I agree with a lot of the comments here and today has been hard for me too.

I'm currently covid positive and isolating with a threenager and an autistic 5 year old. I feel crap, the kid's behaviour is deteriorating, too much TV isn't helping but no choice but to keep plodding on.

I'm a lone parent, ex isn't allowed contact with the kids and doesn't pay anything towards their care. But I am happy with this and am grateful everyday that they are safe. It's just hard.

I hear you all. I'm so tired of feeling such a level of enormous responsibility on my own. I've done all the planning, thinking, organising for 14 years. I'm exhausted now we're in the teen stage and craving freedom from it all.

Xh was desperate for dcs. He didn't even make it to dc2's 2nd birthday before he'd decided it was all a bit dull and went off and had an affair instead.

I've worked bloody hard, retrained, decent job, house fully paid off (he doesn't know that). But God it's been a lonely path. Even with dp. It sounds awful and I adore my two but I'd never have chosen to have dcs in these circumstances. I feel so let down.

Xh moved on and started a new family. He sees the dcs but they get nowhere near the opportunities nor family life his younger dcs have. It makes me so sad. I've always maintained an amicable relationship with him for the sake of the dcs. They still have no idea what actually happened as they were too young at the time to understand. One day I'll have to tell them but it'll need very careful handling.

I thought I'd got over being angry and disappointed - 24 years of no maintenance, ex lives in another country and hasn't seen DD at all since she was five. I've always kept in touch with his mother, who dropped into conversation with DD that her father had been in the UK over Christmas and I could feel how hurt DD was. Maybe irrational after all this time, but still - doesn't he have any curiosity as to how his first born turned out?! Clearly not.

It's so so hard when the DC are younger, but i've been a lone parent for 33 years now and it does get easier, believe me..

When they really start to do well in life, feel proud, its because you did a good job all by yourself!

The 17th is my 5 year anniversary of being a single parent, completely lone 100% on my own single parent.

I haven't got the energy to be angry. Yes it is tough, but it is what it is and I could have spent 5 years burning with resentment and anger or making the most of things.

I'm so much happier than I ever was with him.

Oh I feel this today! Yesterday my brother came over to help my teenage ds to fix something.. watching them work together and how patiently my brother explained stuff and how engaged my son was! Urgh it made me furious that his own useless dad never bothers with him! My ds should have a man in his rifle that takes that time with him always and he doesn't cause he's a drunk prick all the time!

Where do i sign the petition to agree. Every sick day falls with me. He drops him like a hat only does one day a week and cant even manage that. I get a ridiculous 35 pound a month. Worst of all is hes an instagram when he does have him hes posting photos everywhere to make it look like he gives a shit. We are walking away this year ive had enough

I was angry when ex left because I didn't sign up for single parenthood. Six months later we co-parent well, I'm much happier, he pays £500 a month plus half of nursery costs and sees DS 3 times a week. I actually kind of love it, but that's because he's not a total douche just a bit of one.

I dont think I am angry at being a single parent its very mixed feelings, I am angry that I am all alone, dealing with my son, I am angry I cant get a part time job because no one wants to employ a single mum with restricted hours, sure I might be able to get a job as a fucking cleaner or school dinner lady but I dont want to do more mothering/house work I want a proper bloody job in a office with friends to talk to, preferably in entertainment media industry, I am fed up with being solely responsible for everything, my ex has gotten away with well he's gotten away full stop, has nothing to do with us, doesn't pay the amount of maintenance he should and I am mostly fed up with being single I am lonely and I really want a boyfriend, I think thats why I suddenly developed a massive crush on RDJ over lockdown and spend half the time day dreaming about him.

But on the other hand, I am free, my sons behaviour has improved and he is much happier without dad around, I have more money on benefits then I did when the ex was here, I dont have to worry about the death threats and things getting randomly thrown/smashed, I am not constantly being told I'm useless and everything is my fault and that we are skint because I use too much electricity etc, I dont have to deal with the hierarchy anymore of how the cupboard space is allocated and the fridge space etc, I dont need to ask for permission to go out anywhere other then shopping months in advance and then see if its allowed when the day comes based on my behaviour, I dont have to just keep my head down and my mouth shut for a quiet life anymore and I am grateful for that.

so I guess I am happy to be free, angry to be alone and lonely and angry to have wasted 14 years of my life in that mess.

if that makes sense.

Generally I’m more happy being a single parent than the alternative, however a couple of comment have actually made me want to boil his head…

“Is child maintaince to be saved for like uni”….sure if you don’t want your child to fed until she’s 18

“When was the last time she slept through”…how about never, he’s never had her overnight, she’s almost 4

He calls and she doesn’t want to speak to him “maybe if she didn’t watch so much tv”…um she doesn’t, but I was attempting to make tea/catch up on work/go for a pee/ generally not entertain a tired in irritable small person after working full time

There are others but these are the ones I can recall without my blood actually boiling

Then my small person will tell me that I’m best friend! Damn them for being so lovely

Im actually not angry I’m a single parent. It’s much better than being in a crap relationship. But I am angry at how society look down on single mums abs how men (and it is almost always men) get away without paying their way or taking on any of the work.

@CayrolBaaaskin

Im actually not angry I’m a single parent. It’s much better than being in a crap relationship. But I am angry at how society look down on single mums abs how men (and it is almost always men) get away without paying their way or taking on any of the work.

Yes. That's probably what I meant to say. But why these runaway bastards are not in jail I have no idea.

@Perfect28

This thread is a very good warning advert for not having kids with someone useless! Were they always useless or did something change when babies came along? I totally agree about why it is socially acceptable, dad's always abandoning their children whilst if mothers did the same it would be neglect! Utter double standards. Single parents are incredible.

my ex was very charming, quiet none threatening, frankly most people assumed he was gay. he gradually got more paranoid and nasty over the years but he was always manipulative and played victim, he fell completely off the deep end after we had a child (he wanted kids I didnt), I am convinced he had at lest 2 psychotic episodes while we were together and his mood swings were horrendous and didnt seem rooted in what was going on around him, just random.

No one wants to breed with someone useless, we dont aspire to being alone and left with the kids. its easy to judge when it hasnt happened to you because you can convince yourself you will "see the signs" your never end up like that....thats not the way life goes.

@Marmelace

It never felt like that at the time, I felt lost and betrayed that he could abandon them so easy and leave then without. Tears, anger, went through the whole range of negative emotions. The loneliness was crippled, and having to hide my despair from my boys whilst smiling and trying to be positive for them was so hard.

When did you stop being lonely?

@thepeopleversuswork

At the risk of pissing people off, no. I fucking love it and not a day goes by when I don’t feel grateful that I am no longer in my shit marriage.

I’m sorry if that’s triggering or sounds smug but it’s god’s truth.

I am collectively pissed off on behalf of all of us who don’t get enough money or support and whom society still treats as inferior and I hear your anger but I can’t share it. The relief and the freedom is still such a buzz, seven years on.

What can I say….

I agree with this too.

I feel angry for a different reason. Exh and I are good friends now after several years of real animosity. He pays maintenance, is very involved and we parent together, just living separately.
But I'm heartbroken and angry that my kids don't have the life I wanted for them and that they deserve. There's little spare money, I've had 2 nights away from them since they were born so I'm exhausted and not the best mum I can be. I also lost my career so had to start again from scratch.
They've been exposed to mental health struggles, real poverty (so much better now) and this isn't how it's supposed to be.

Things are good for us all these days but they deserve so much more.

Also I'm lonely as fuck but fat, middle aged and no chance or opportunity to meet anyone.