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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I absolutely hate weekends.

145 replies

Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 14:55

Does anyone else? I’m guessing probably not!
Not getting on well with dp, want to possibly leave but it’s very complicated and won’t be easy at all.
During the week it’s just Dd and I and I’m fairly happy, only have to be around Dp for around an hour until Dd goes to bed etc (we alternate each night who goes with her)
But when weekends come around the tension comes back and I start to feel down again and not myself.
Does anyone else have it? Feel like I’m
just trying to get through the days and realise this isn’t healthy or normal and just very sad.
He’s taken her to the playground for a few hours, had to pick something up this morning…so hopefully there isn’t too much time together when they’re back and it’s DD’s bedtime.
Tomorrow I plan to take her on a play date with friends and do the weekly shop (would normally do on a weekday) then will take her somewhere else to stretch the day out.
Does anyone else live like this?
Feel so low and so sad for Dd

OP posts:
Someonemustknowtheanswer · 08/01/2022 14:56

You have a DP problem not a weekend problem.

Comedycook · 08/01/2022 14:56

That sounds miserable Sad

Burnt0utMum · 08/01/2022 14:58

Doesn't sound like you hate weekends, sounds like your DP is the problem.

Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:05

Does anyone else spend their life/spent their life avoiding?

OP posts:
Muffinsandfruitcakes · 08/01/2022 15:06

Sounds like how I was when I was with my ex. For me it was more that I was scared as he'd always pick on me and be physically violent. I always used to arrange to go out for as long as possible during weekends to stay away from him. I used to dread weekends and especially long weekends. Luckily I didn't have children with him. I don't know why you don't like being around your dh but if it is something that cannot be fixed by marriage counselling or is something you don't want to fix then leave. Don't waste your time looking for ways to avoid being around him. Life is too short.

Hellocatshome · 08/01/2022 15:07

This is not normal and you should seriously consider leaving him. You will be happier.

Tohaveandtohold · 08/01/2022 15:08

You have a DP problem not a weekend problem. That’s no way to live. You either split up or if it’s so bad, you can get a weekend job so you’re out of each other’s company

Paddingtonthebear · 08/01/2022 15:11

That sounds miserable. What do you do in the evenings?

Prinnny · 08/01/2022 15:13

Sounds like your marriage is over and you need to end it. It’s not normal to feel like you do.

Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:13

@Paddingtonthebear Well, he’s home around 6, so then we have dinner etc (or I’ve usually had it with Dd) then she goes upstairs at 7, so we alternate who does bedtimes with her. We lie with her, so usually we just end up sleeping up there with her (I go on my phone/watch tv)

OP posts:
Hemingwayscatz · 08/01/2022 15:14

You don’t hate weekends, you hate spending time with your DP. Once he’s gone I’m sure you’ll enjoy your free time again.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 08/01/2022 15:16

@Prinnny

Sounds like your marriage is over and you need to end it. It’s not normal to feel like you do.
Agreed.

Honestly what sort of an example do you think this kind of relationship is setting your daughter.

If it were her actively avoiding her partner and counting down the hours until bedtime you'd rightly tell her to get out and live her life. Take that advice for yourself, leave and start to find the joy in life again.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 08/01/2022 15:18

Leave your DP. You'll start to love weekends again.

Paddingtonthebear · 08/01/2022 15:19

So do you mean one of you will go up with DD at bedtime and fall asleep in her room with her? So one of you is always upstairs and one is always downstairs on rotation? Is that out of choice or because DD won’t stay asleep if you try and leave the room?

I’m not being narky by the way. Just wondering if DD bedtime routine is also driving you apart. If you were in a happy relationship it would be a strain - always one parent going up to bed early with DD and not coming back down

Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:22

@Paddingtonthebear It started that we’d lie with her until she slept, she found it hard to get to sleep alone. It just sort of became a habit, I’m not sure why, now I’d rather just stay up there on my own with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:23

@PinkWaferBiscuit I know and that’s the worst part.
If only splitting were easy, but it really isn’t

OP posts:
esloquehay · 08/01/2022 15:23

Leave him, if you're spending all your time avoiding him. It's not a life for either of you, or your poor child.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 08/01/2022 15:26

[quote Whyamipayingfornetflix]@PinkWaferBiscuit I know and that’s the worst part.
If only splitting were easy, but it really isn’t[/quote]
It honestly is that easy.

I appreciate it sounds scary and their finances and contact to sort but the actual leaving part is easy, you make the choice to put your life and your happiness first.

Please don't be one of those people that stays for the kids, trust me we see through it and we come out the other side with all kinds of shit views on relationships. Do better by your daughter, she will respect you much more in the long run for not settling for miserable existence.

Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:28

@PinkWaferBiscuit It really isn’t that easy. We’re not in the U.K., it’s hard to find work here, definitely too hard to find work where I could live on my own with her. It’s not like if I was in the U.K. and could get a decent job, benefits, family down the road etc. I’m trapped.
I just wish we still got on

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 08/01/2022 15:28

Please don't be one of those people that stays for the kids, trust me we see through it and we come out the other side with all kinds of shit views on relationships. Do better by your daughter, she will respect you much more in the long run for not settling for miserable existence

This. It's more selfish to stay (putting your kids in a toxic, unhealthy, unhappy environment) than to leave and show them what a happy, healthy parent looks like, IMO.

Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:29

@esloquehay I feel such guilt about my daughter, it breaks my heart

OP posts:
Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:30

@youvegottenminuteslynn I agree, I just don’t know how to get out or even where to begin

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 08/01/2022 15:31

Is he abusive or controlling? If so you have to find a way to separate.

If no abuse/control/nastiness and more a case of growing apart/different views on life, would counselling be worth considering?

Original poster
Whyamipayingfornetflix · 08/01/2022 15:32

@Paddingtonthebear Not really, although there have been moments of aggression due to our rows ( we don’t row in front of Dd)
I can’t even be bothered to argue anymore

OP posts:
PinkWaferBiscuit · 08/01/2022 15:32

[quote Whyamipayingfornetflix]@PinkWaferBiscuit It really isn’t that easy. We’re not in the U.K., it’s hard to find work here, definitely too hard to find work where I could live on my own with her. It’s not like if I was in the U.K. and could get a decent job, benefits, family down the road etc. I’m trapped.
I just wish we still got on[/quote]
There must be people who live alone with their children where you live? Where abots are you, maybe try to find out what their set up is and how they manage to support themselves and their children. I know it all seems bleak but it can't be impossible and it's got to be better than the alternative.