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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were in a cafe having lunch...

337 replies

MargeSimpson00 · 07/01/2022 19:09

Would you mind someone at your table having an injection whilst sitting there?

  1. Person being injected is not in your party
  2. Not insulin or anything immediately life saving, a vaccination

YANBU- wouldn't mind
YABU- it's gross

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 09/01/2022 14:55

The world doesn't revolve around you and your phobia though, that's why a lot of therapy etc doesn't focus on avoidance of it

No one sits down in a cafe with their latte and expects to see someone there get vaccinated

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 09/01/2022 15:09

@XenoBitch

The world doesn't revolve around you and your phobia though, that's why a lot of therapy etc doesn't focus on avoidance of it

No one sits down in a cafe with their latte and expects to see someone there get vaccinated

This. While I accept there's a possibility someone with diabetes might have to inject I do not expect someone to have a vaccination because the nurse can't be bothered to use a side room!

I'm sorry to hear about your son @thisismee and I would leave before expecting someone to inject insulin in the toilet. There's also very little chance I would know as unless it was a stranger at my table as I wouldn't knowingly be sitting with someone who would be injecting.

Why2why · 09/01/2022 16:39

No one should expect to sit in a cafe and have a right to prohibit others from doing things that causes no detriment to them other than upset their personal sensibilities.

There is always the option to stay home if you never have spect to see things you don’t like or agree with. Was a crime committed? Was any rule broken or policy breached?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 09/01/2022 16:59

No one should expect to sit in a cafe and have someone being vaccinated at the same fucking table! If I thought the cafe was being used as a vaccination centre I would stay at home.

I don't expect the world to revolve around me despite what you think but you clearly have no idea what a phobia is like.

Redshell · 09/01/2022 17:32

Everyone is entitled to their view. Please feel free to provide yours in a way that doesn’t judge or disrespect my own view; there was no need for you to reply to me. Your comments was rude and unnecessary. And by the way, it’s not a public cafe!

Redshell · 09/01/2022 17:34

@GlomOfNit Everyone is entitled to their view. Please feel free to provide yours in a way that doesn’t judge or disrespect my own view; there was no need for you to reply to me. Your comments was rude and unnecessary. And by the way, it’s not a public cafe!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 09/01/2022 17:46

Didn’t the OP say the cafe is part of a sheltered housing complex but is open to the public?

Why2why · 09/01/2022 23:58

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

No one should expect to sit in a cafe and have someone being vaccinated at the same fucking table! If I thought the cafe was being used as a vaccination centre I would stay at home.

I don't expect the world to revolve around me despite what you think but you clearly have no idea what a phobia is like.

No only you know what a phobia is like, apparently.

Resorting to swearing is just embarrassing. Pull yourself together and get over yourself. It’s just someone getting a vaccine. I’m sure there are bigger issues to lose your cool over.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/01/2022 07:43

No @Why2why you're the embarrassing one with your total lack of empathy. Do you tell people with other mental health issues to pull themselves together and get over themselves or do you reserve your hatred for those of us with phobias?

And no I'm not the only one who knows what a phobia is because, if you had an ounce intelligence you would know a) how common phobias are and b) everyone experiences them differently.

Cuck00soup · 10/01/2022 08:22

The issue here is that the person needs a vaccination.

At the time of their vaccination, they are in the cafe attached to their housing complex.

I have sympathy for people with needle phobias, but in this scenario I would respectfully request that they look away or go outside if they would prefer, because the priority is the vaccine. The empathy should be for the person having the vaccine.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/01/2022 08:38

And that @Cuck00soup is what I would have done! I would have left the cafe and not gone back. I do think the nurse was rude and unprofessional towards the OP though.

My issue with the previous poster is telling someone to pull themselves together and get over themselves. I honestly thought that attitude towards mental illness was generally a thing of the past but clearly not when it comes to phobias. I’ve been shown nothing but kindness in real life so hopefully the likes of Why2Why are just keyboard warriors.

XenoBitch · 10/01/2022 09:06

"Looking away" does not work with phobias. If you had a friend in your house that has a phobia of spiders, and one appeared on the wall or ceiling next to them, would you tell them to just look away and ignore it?

If someone was sat at my table (but not in my party.... that can happen if the cafe is particularly busy), and a nurse came to administer a jab to someone sat at the same table, then yes I would complain (after I had calmed down). If the customers in the OP complained, it suggests to me that the nurse didn't even ask the if people that were sat at the same table as the person getting vaccinated were ok with it.

Abraxan · 10/01/2022 09:15

I'm not too sure it's bother me. The flu vaccine is very quick, and often not done in private.

For example, my flu vaccine this year was fine sat in the middle of the small pharmacy near my house. Used to be in a side room but now it's done in a chair right next to the shelves of things for sale. Other customers or patients are stood right by you.

Courtesy would have been to ask others at the table if it was okay.

HaveringWavering · 10/01/2022 09:33

@XenoBitch

"Looking away" does not work with phobias. If you had a friend in your house that has a phobia of spiders, and one appeared on the wall or ceiling next to them, would you tell them to just look away and ignore it?

If someone was sat at my table (but not in my party.... that can happen if the cafe is particularly busy), and a nurse came to administer a jab to someone sat at the same table, then yes I would complain (after I had calmed down). If the customers in the OP complained, it suggests to me that the nurse didn't even ask the if people that were sat at the same table as the person getting vaccinated were ok with it.

I might have sympathy for the spider-phobic friend after the spider appeared. But I would expect them to accept the risk that spiders may appear in daily life because they are just one of those things.

In the same way, getting a vaccination is unremarkable and the vast majority of people would not be remotely affected by seeing it. It’s broadcast all over the TV constantly these days. Who can be arsed double checking just in case there is a needle-phobe around? You could have it over and done with in the time it takes to ascertain that everyone in the vicinity is OK with it. .

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 10/01/2022 09:42

@Lottieskeeper

I've been an insulin injecting diabetic since I was 10 (29 years) and wouldn't dream of doing my injection in view of other people.

I did when I was a child and made a waitress faint so I learnt not to get the needles out in public again.

Adult DS1 only takes himself off to toilets to inject insulin if there are small boisterous DC present. No one's ever complained.
InexperiencedDogOwner · 10/01/2022 09:42

@Abraxan

I'm not too sure it's bother me. The flu vaccine is very quick, and often not done in private.

For example, my flu vaccine this year was fine sat in the middle of the small pharmacy near my house. Used to be in a side room but now it's done in a chair right next to the shelves of things for sale. Other customers or patients are stood right by you.

Courtesy would have been to ask others at the table if it was okay.

That doesn't sound right at that pharmacy. I'm sure there's a requirement that it needs to be done in a consultation room
HaveringWavering · 10/01/2022 09:55

@InexperiencedDogOwner that poster was there, you were not! Why question what she says?!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/01/2022 10:01

I might have sympathy for the spider-phobic friend after the spider appeared. But I would expect them to accept the risk that spiders may appear in daily life because they are just one of those things.

But someone having a vaccination in a cafe isn't 'one of those things' as it's not something you expect to see.

In the same way, getting a vaccination is unremarkable and the vast majority of people would not be remotely affected by seeing it. It’s broadcast all over the TV constantly these days. Who can be arsed double checking just in case there is a needle-phobe around?

'Does anyone mind if I give Fred his vaccination at the table?' takes a couple of seconds to say. It would give the person who does have a problem the chance to walk out. Does the nurse really want to have to deal with someone who's fainted or having a full on panic attack? It might not be a phobia, it might be because they don't feel it's appropriate, especially when there's a side room available.

HaveringWavering · 10/01/2022 10:12

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

I might have sympathy for the spider-phobic friend after the spider appeared. But I would expect them to accept the risk that spiders may appear in daily life because they are just one of those things.

But someone having a vaccination in a cafe isn't 'one of those things' as it's not something you expect to see.

In the same way, getting a vaccination is unremarkable and the vast majority of people would not be remotely affected by seeing it. It’s broadcast all over the TV constantly these days. Who can be arsed double checking just in case there is a needle-phobe around?

'Does anyone mind if I give Fred his vaccination at the table?' takes a couple of seconds to say. It would give the person who does have a problem the chance to walk out. Does the nurse really want to have to deal with someone who's fainted or having a full on panic attack? It might not be a phobia, it might be because they don't feel it's appropriate, especially when there's a side room available.

Yeah, sorry, if they don’t think it’s “appropriate” they need to accept that they are out of sync and most people would not care.
XenoBitch · 10/01/2022 10:17

Yeah, sorry, if they don’t think it’s “appropriate” they need to accept that they are out of sync and most people would not care

People did care, as the OP said customers complained.
Would you find it appropriate for a nurse to change dressings in a cafe too?
Medical procedures/care should not be carried out in cafes, and especially not at a table of diners.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/01/2022 10:37

Yeah, sorry, if they don’t think it’s “appropriate” they need to accept that they are out of sync and most people would not care.

But people complained so therefore they did care!

Would you find it appropriate for a nurse to change dressings in a cafe too?

I'm sure some posters on here would say they didn't mind just to make a point!

HaveringWavering · 10/01/2022 10:39

@XenoBitch

Yeah, sorry, if they don’t think it’s “appropriate” they need to accept that they are out of sync and most people would not care

People did care, as the OP said customers complained.
Would you find it appropriate for a nurse to change dressings in a cafe too?
Medical procedures/care should not be carried out in cafes, and especially not at a table of diners.

Yes, and I think those people were BU! Changing a dressing is completely different, as you well know. There are no visible wounds in giving injections.

You do realise that blood donation takes place in a communal hall, no privacy there? Yes, all there know that blood donation will be happening,but there is in no way an expectation of privacy.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/01/2022 10:43

You do realise that blood donation takes place in a communal hall, no privacy there? Yes, all there know that blood donation will be happening,but there is in no way an expectation of privacy.

Not the same at all. Blood donation is always signposted so I would know to avoid it and I'm sure anyone who gives blood knows about the lack of privacy. You're also very unlikely to be having tea and cake in the middle of a blood donation session.

XenoBitch · 10/01/2022 10:45

You do realise that blood donation takes place in a communal hall, no privacy there? Yes, all there know that blood donation will be happening,but there is in no way an expectation of privacy.

The blood donation service will have booked the hall, and there would be signs nearby about it. Totally different to a community nurse giving a jab to patient in a public cafe (that is not closed off to be used as a vaccine hub) at a table of strangers who are there to eat and drink, not see injections.
OP offered the nurse a side room and was told she was a jobsworth.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/01/2022 10:46

OP offered the nurse a side room and was told she was a jobsworth.

I actually think this is being missed in all the hoo ha about whether the injection should have happened at the table. The nurse sounds thoroughly unpleasant anyway and if I was OP I would have made a complaint about her attitude.