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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Molly Mae

339 replies

ivykaty44 · 07/01/2022 15:40

“that if you want something enough, you can achieve it”

“You’re given one life and it’s down to you what you do with it
. You can literally go in any direction. When I’ve spoken about that in the past I have been slammed a little bit, with people saying ‘it’s easy for you to say that because you’ve not grown up in poverty, so for you to sit there and say we all have the same 24 hours in a day is not correct.’ But, technically, what I’m saying is correct. We do.

“I understand we all have different backgrounds and we’re all raised in different ways and we do have different financial situations, but I think if you want something enough you can achieve it. It just depends on what lengths you want to go to get where you want to be in the future. And I’ll go to any length. I’ve worked my absolute arse off to get where I am now.”

Not someone id come across before, a reality star, who has said the above

is she being reasonable or not?

OP posts:
MiloAndEddie · 07/01/2022 15:51

I think she’s unreasonable and tone deaf.

Yes we’ve all got 24 hours in a day but she’s not juggling kids/caring responsibilities/an actual 9-5 job that you have to do to keep a roof over your head etc etc.

I think she’s bloody cheeky

ExcuseeeeMe · 07/01/2022 15:53

@MiloAndEddie

I think she’s unreasonable and tone deaf.

Yes we’ve all got 24 hours in a day but she’s not juggling kids/caring responsibilities/an actual 9-5 job that you have to do to keep a roof over your head etc etc.

I think she’s bloody cheeky

Exactly this never mind her privilege of being able bodied .
AlphabetStew · 07/01/2022 15:53

Her statement doesn't exactly take people with disabilities into account either.

CeleriacOfTheNight · 07/01/2022 15:53

Ah to be 22 again, when I knew absolutely fecking everything.

SummaLuvin · 07/01/2022 15:54

Everyone has the same 24 hours. Correct. We do not, however, all have the same advantages, opportunities, and resources.

MM might well work hard (I don't know her personally to comment) but hard work alone did not get her where she is now. She is privileged and lucky, and to suggest otherwise is daft. She would not have the platform she has without Love Island. She wouldn't have gotten on Love Island to start with if she hadn't be conventionally very pretty (and had the £££ for fillers and cosmetic enhancements).

I don't think she is from a super rich family, but certainly not on the breadline, I would assume "comfortable". She has spoken before how her dad gave her 6 months rent and bill free time living at home to make herself on Instagram - sure she grafted in that time to and made it work, but thats simply not an option for many.

BoobsOnTheMoon · 07/01/2022 15:55

It's alright for her, she has a lot of advantages that she clearly can't even see - she's white and extremely pretty for starters which is behind a lot of her "success". No fucker would want me on their reality show so that's the doors held open for her slammed in my face Hmm

And tbh, being a social media influencer and going on Love Island aren't exactly working your arse off. If hard work led to wealth then women who do 3 cleaning jobs and then a waitress shift at night before going home to care for an elderly relative would be millionaires.

adoreyou · 07/01/2022 15:55

I actually listened to the podcast interview a few weeks back and thought at the time some of her comments were... miss judged.
But I get what she was trying to say overall, if you listen to the whole thing.

Yes some of her comments are just stupid ... we have the same 24 hrs as Beyoncé blah blah
She just sounds like a 21 year old who has very little experience of "real life".... which is what she is.

Original poster
ivykaty44 · 07/01/2022 15:55

Tell that to the starving kids in poverty stricken country’s that can barely afford an education.

you mean those making the clothes for PLT that MM is making money of the back of?

OP posts:
anon12345678901 · 07/01/2022 15:56

Everyone has 24 hours yes, but not the same 24 hours. This is where her comment falls tone deaf. She's not recognising she had a good upbringing, she is only where she is because she is attractive and went on love island. There's no way she'd be so high up in PLT if she hadn't had that opportunity. There's an element of hard work but when she left love island, opportunities would have been thrown at her. She didn't need to work for those.

Hugasauras · 07/01/2022 15:57

If life is a 200m race, some people start from 100 metres in front of other people. Of course it's possible for the people at the back to catch up, but it can be incredibly difficult and not everyone can. Likewise, a lot of the people at the front don't have to work as hard to make it over the finish line. Of course some still need to work as hard, but again, not everyone has to.

So while the ideology of 'anyone can achieve everything' is perhaps technically correct, the likelihood of some people doing so given the inequitable start in life they get is much lower.

EightNationNavy · 07/01/2022 15:57

Reminds me of some people I know who are not bad folks, per SE, but just don't have the experience to put themselves in other people's shoes, and don't realize how bad things can get.
"Work hard at school" - but the school is crap, your parents keep you off to look after the younger kids, and you find it hard to concentrate through a mixture of CPTSD and simply not being given breakfast
"Study nights" - when you're either doing a second job for buttons or looking after Granny and the kid you had because nobody told you about sex and you were 28 weeks before anyone worked out you were pregnant. And you have no money to do the class, no transport to get there, no time or suitable shoes to walk.
"Get an allotment and grow your own food" - you need money for tools and seeds and rental (and you have 0 spare cash) and time to go there.

I'm not saying people shouldn't try to improve their situations but sometimes you really do have nothing you can work with.

Nottosure22 · 07/01/2022 15:57

Sounds like privilege to me..

waterlego · 07/01/2022 15:57

@Sirzy

She may say she understands everyone comes from different backgrounds but her but her comments show a complete lack of understanding of how the world works.
This. Absolutely.

It should be obvious with anyone with a few brain cells to rub together that the more obstacles and barriers are in a person’s way, the harder it will be to ‘achieve their dreams’. it’s possible but much, much harder.

I say that as someone who grew up with privilege and whose parents helped me get on the property ladder. I’ve had it much easier than many, and I know it.

theNumbersStation · 07/01/2022 15:58

We all have the same time.

We don’t all have the same experiences and opportunities.

The lengths I could go to? Yes. Get that too. But some of us are held back.

I’m wondering how my parents would fare now that dementia and disability if I chose to make things great for only me. How would my siblings fare?

I’ve worked my arse off all my life and have always had responsibilities.

If i chose to just think of myself and do anything it takes, I would be letting down my family.

Reaching for the stars is fine.

Some of us (and rightfully so) keep our feet on the ground.

Original poster
ivykaty44 · 07/01/2022 15:59

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/e110-molly-mae-how-she-became-creative-director-of-plt-at-22/id1291423644?i=1000544772150

I had put as much text into the op as possible, not realising their is a podcast here

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 07/01/2022 15:59

I think of her reality star milieux she’s the best of a very vacuous bunch.

She’s worked out what her USP is and she’s worked that. It takes time and energy to make the videos, to do the content, to graft for people to sponsor you. It’s not exactly splitting the atom but it is work.

I thinks she’s a bit young and naive but more power to her and her taking out her fillers etc shows that’s she understands she has a persuasive voice. I like that. Shows a bit of integrity.

Greenfields124 · 07/01/2022 16:00

I think she's naive to not realise there is a certain amount of luck involved with making alot of money too.
The fact she got onto love island to begin with for example.
Also the obvious point of your upbringing effecting your outlook, your self esteem and having less opportunities.
As well as various other factors.

But yes I think she's wrong, she's only 22 she has alot of growing to do yet.

theNumbersStation · 07/01/2022 16:00

Sorry “now that they have dementia and disability”

Username916 · 07/01/2022 16:01

I've never heard of her but I've watched the video clip and she is just completely ignorant.

Notonthestairs · 07/01/2022 16:01

Well she's obviously grasped the opportunities that have come her way or she has made for herself (eg at her age I wouldn't have had the confidence to apply for something like Love Island).I think that is to be applauded.

But no we do not all have the same starting point (education, family support, disabilities, caring responsibilities) and it's ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

I'd hope she'll look back at reflect on her own lack of knowledge of the wider world and disparities of opportunity.

Pumperthepumper · 07/01/2022 16:02

Of course she’s wrong.

But the pile on her has been really horrible to watch. She’s 22 and she said something stupid, but she doesn’t deserve this endless grief. It’s actually disgusting how desperate people are to stick the boot in.

BasketBlocks · 07/01/2022 16:04

@Pumperthepumper

Of course she’s wrong.

But the pile on her has been really horrible to watch. She’s 22 and she said something stupid, but she doesn’t deserve this endless grief. It’s actually disgusting how desperate people are to stick the boot in.

Agreed. I don’t fully agree with what she said but the pile on is pretty ugly.
roarfeckingroarr · 07/01/2022 16:05

Good on her

ldontWanna · 07/01/2022 16:05

It's all about resources, not just financially either.

Someone growing up in poverty, or with with abuse/trauma and struggling with their mental health will be knackered by the time they're 20 sometimes and not have a lot of fight left in them. It's not about will, it's about even getting up and keeping going being a struggle every day.

That's without opportunities that happen to you simply because of your upbringing. An interest in learning, a love of books, a well rounded education and plenty of experiences , support, not having to always say no, be ostracised or miss out on things because you can't afford them, not having to worry about food,or heating or abuse or whatever while "fighting" for what you want to achieve.

If two people went to climb Everest, one with a backpack, the other with 7 and a shoddy ankle and starving, no one would blame the second for not getting to the top. No one would deny that the first didn't work hard. But they didn't exactly have the same journey did they?

Neron · 07/01/2022 16:05

Yes, there is an element of having the one life and making something of it, which I can agree with.

Not sure a 22yo, who's been privileged in areas of her life, has the experience to proclaim this, but that's the beauty of an opinion I guess.