To want to knock her lights out?

[AngryMumOfTwo]

Hi,

I've nc'ed to be anon with this.

I'm quite upset because this note was stuck to our door overnight.

A bit of background. We've moved into this privately rented flat about 4 years ago, when our daughter was only 1. She is now 5. We have just had our second (and last) over Christmas. Like all newborns, she cries at night sometimes. She isn't too bad to be honest, at least we didn't think she was. Our oldest did cry a lot.

We get along with most people who live here. We're generally quiet and private as is all the other residents. Over 50% of them are elderly, though this isn't a retirement block of flats. We're the youngest, but there are others not much older then us.

We don't know who left the note. It is obviously unsigned. We have our suspicions but that's all. If they had knocked on the door and spoken to us, that wouldn't be a problem.

For their own sake, they better hope I don't find out who it is. I'm furious. It's horrid. The residents we've spoken to over the last few days have said how lovely she is but no noise complaints. Our immediate neighbours and the lady directly below are nice people so I don't think it's them.

I'm not sure what else I can really do about this. I had to vent my anger somewhere, sorry. My partner is angry but also found it amusing.

Thats horrible. That said, I dont think pinning it up for all to see, or posting copies round neighbours, is wise - thats how these things escalate. I'd hate to live in a flat, neighbour disputes over noise are always rife.

Cowards not signing off who they are. They know their will be backlash if they did leave their names.

Write your reply and pin the original note and your reply on a communal door for everyone to see?

I would leave the note up on your door and add to it: Whoever write this, please note this block is not a retirement home and if you can't handle the normal sounds of daily life, I suggest you move to one.

I would photocopy that note and write a polite response underneath, then send a copy to every single flat in the block. Whoever sent it should be extremely embarrassed that their “funny” note will be judged by every single other neighbour. What a cunt.

Also very odd that the writer seems to think the OP is a new resident when in fact she's been there for 4 years.

Some young incel living with mummy and daddy perhaps. Teen to early thirties. The 'breed' is the giveaway. They're a twat.

Wow. I would write a reply along the lines of ‘to whoever wrote this note, go fuck yourself’ and post it somewhere public for all to see.

Is there a communal notice board? I’d put it up on there with a short note about how poisonous anonymous notes are and could the person please approach you directly rather than hiding behind anonymity. Make sure everyone in the building knows that they’ve a coward in their midst.

@58bpm

I don't think the unpleasantness of the note detracts from the point that your household is impacting on the peace and enjoyment of others.

You may not be able to stop your baby crying at night but of humility and compassion and less talk of violence might be something to consider.

Your personal decisions shouldn't be impacting on your neighbours.

Oh don't be so ridiculous. We all live in a society and that society includes babies and children. If the neighbour is bothered by that noise he can choose to wear ear plugs. Our new neighbours had a baby. I put ear defenders on when the baby cries at night and fall back asleep. Its OPs neighbour#s 'personal decision' not to do that and the impact of that falls on him alone. Its better to take responsibility for yourself than to sit there seething about the injustice of people procreating.

It's a shit note, and I wouldn't have done it. But I can understand the annoyance building after your first cried a lot. Like I said, I wouldn't have said anything though.

This is disgusting. So sorry OP.

I would keep the note and frame it and then hang in my front door for a week or so - to ensure the sender saw it

Then I would hang in my front hallway as a sort of funny and quirky piece of wall art

And I would make absolutely no changes to how I’m living my life in any shape or form

Who on earth voted YABU? What are you meant to do - sleep in the street? Smother the baby?

Put a note next to the original saying 'What baby? We like to play YouTube videos of babies crying because we find it relaxing. Cheerio.'

Miserable fuckers.

OP, I hope this thread is cathartic for you. As tempting as it is to leave a reply somewhere the author will see it I think the best revenge is to carry on as you are in the knowledge your new baby is disturbing them enough for them to write that shitty note and in being cruel and anonymous nothing has improved. Entirely fruitless. By not responding they don't even have the satisfaction of knowing they've got to you.

All these suggestions about photocopying and sending to other residents….FGS please don’t involve others. Others may be dealing with serious shit… health worries, financial, business down the tubes. And this is just a silly distraction for them.

Thank you everyone for the comments. I've calmed down a little since this morning but I'm still angry. I've spoken to a couple of the neighbours and they're shocked. No one has recognised the hand writing, but then again we don't really see each others writing. It's interesting that some people think it might be one of the younger ones. It could be. Like I said, we get along with most people here. We don't really see some of them much so don't know them other then their face.

I'm not aware there is CCTV, except just outside the building. This won't capture anything inside.

The older residents most have (adult) kids of their own so have some understanding of what it's like to have a newborn, but I guess some memories fade. I shocked by the response to be honest. I'm still reading the replies. Thank you :) xx

That's horrible. Just bin in. I wouldn't go to the trouble of writing a reply. When you move in to a block of flats, semi-detached house, detached house with neighbours etc, you have to expect some noise. That's life. They're nasty and probably lead a very sad life. Don't rise to it.

Who the fuck are the 11% who think you're being unreasonable??!!

Horrible note, and anonymous is always horrible.

I would either put notes through all doors or pin up a communal reply, but firmly retaining your own moral high ground. Just ‘we have a new baby, we are doing our best snd would prefer our neighbours to come and does to us directly if it is disturbing you, rather than receiving anonymous notes”

And definitely do not use any of the snarky ‘retirement home’ comments suggested by PP. Not appreciating noise night after night is not restricted to older people.

There’s little you can do, but my neighbours were considerate enough to let me know when they were starting controlled crying, for example, and let me know as a neighbour that they had a new baby, ‘wonderful news…sorry for any crying’.

That's disgusting, do you have a management company who maintains the block? If so, I'd report it to them.

You could buy a bag of earplugs and hang them up beside the note, with a sign saying: Sorry for the baby noise. We hope he'll soon be sleeping through. Help yourselves to these.

That would show compassion and humour and that you are way way more mature than the anonymous complainer.

@THisbackwithavengeance

It's shit to receive a note like that.

But I actually disagree with the MN theory that all babies cry excessively and continued crying especially at night is to be expected and tolerated and perhaps ignored.

Babies cry when their needs are not being met. Newborns crying is distressing for those who have to listen to it. That's nature's way presumably to ensure that newborns are not ignored? I hate it when I am in the supermarket, Primark etc and people are blithely and unconcernedly going about their shopping whilst their tiny babies howl in the pram.

If your baby is crying for continual periods to the point that it's pissing off the neighbours, perhaps a check up with the GP or midwife is in order assuming of course that you are feeding on cues and not doing any form of controlled crying?

Have you had babies?! A newborn crying in the night is not the same as a kid being dragged around the shops screaming (though parents need to shop too). Newborns can be colicky, have witching hours. Have you heard of purple crying? A baby can have all needs met and just cry because.

purplecrying.info/what-is-the-period-of-purple-crying.php

@FudgeOff

Personally, I would favour the: 'leave the note there in place' response. Nothing added, nothing taken away, just as you found it.

Let everyone see it. Let everyone judge the writer. Let the writer see it, unmoved from it's location, and never be sure what kind of reaction you had - or even if you've noticed it at all (though you couldn't not have).

This