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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to knock her lights out?

416 replies

AngryMumOfTwo · 07/01/2022 07:52

Hi,

I've nc'ed to be anon with this.

I'm quite upset because this note was stuck to our door overnight.

A bit of background. We've moved into this privately rented flat about 4 years ago, when our daughter was only 1. She is now 5. We have just had our second (and last) over Christmas. Like all newborns, she cries at night sometimes. She isn't too bad to be honest, at least we didn't think she was. Our oldest did cry a lot.

We get along with most people who live here. We're generally quiet and private as is all the other residents. Over 50% of them are elderly, though this isn't a retirement block of flats. We're the youngest, but there are others not much older then us.

We don't know who left the note. It is obviously unsigned. We have our suspicions but that's all. If they had knocked on the door and spoken to us, that wouldn't be a problem.

For their own sake, they better hope I don't find out who it is. I'm furious. It's horrid. The residents we've spoken to over the last few days have said how lovely she is but no noise complaints. Our immediate neighbours and the lady directly below are nice people so I don't think it's them.

I'm not sure what else I can really do about this. I had to vent my anger somewhere, sorry. My partner is angry but also found it amusing.

To want to knock her lights out?
OP posts:
BerylSilverstone · 07/01/2022 09:13

So sorry someone stuck that to your door. That is really nasty. Congratulations on your new baby x

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/01/2022 09:13

@WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps

Perhaps they might be a little busy?!!!

Yeah I'm sure it's that. (?!!!)

Perhaps instead of openly "troll hunting" if you have concerns you should contact HQ yourself? Or you could just RTFT where op said they have name changed? HTH
GrandRapids · 07/01/2022 09:13

My mum has hand writing like that. She's in her 70's.

I really don't think that was written by a teenager. An arsey old bloke more like.

WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps · 07/01/2022 09:15

"HTH" 😴
What does name changing have to do with a one post (froth) thread exactly? How odd.

2022sucksalready · 07/01/2022 09:15

I think I’d just leave that there with a little reply on the bottom. Something along the lines of fuck off you miserable git.

BerthaBlythe · 07/01/2022 09:16

Older people (in fact anyone over 40 probably) learned to write cursive. That handwriting is what is taught in schools today.

peachgreen · 07/01/2022 09:16

If you live in a flat you have to expect normal noise from other households, and that includes babies crying. If they'd come and spoken to you nicely that would be one thing (although I'm still unsure what exactly they would have expected you to do?!) but to write such a spiteful note, and to do it anonymously, is just vile. Sorry OP. It's so horrible to feel unwelcome in your own home. But please know that they're the problem, not you.

5128gap · 07/01/2022 09:17

The important thing to remember is this is one weird horrible individual and their views will not represent the whole block. Even if people are disturbed the language used in the note is not that of a person with typical social behaviour and will not be a group effort. Unfortunately you sometimes do get very odd unpleasant neighbours and it's best to try to ignore them as you would any other nuisance. Don't think for minute you're doing anything wrong or change or worry about your routine. If it happens again I'd consider reporting it to the landlord.

gsaoej · 07/01/2022 09:17

Very childish writing.

"Shut up your baby" instead of "shut your baby up"

Rude and spiteful as well.

58bpm · 07/01/2022 09:17

I don't think the unpleasantness of the note detracts from the point that your household is impacting on the peace and enjoyment of others.

You may not be able to stop your baby crying at night but of humility and compassion and less talk of violence might be something to consider.

Your personal decisions shouldn't be impacting on your neighbours.

KissTheHostGoodbye · 07/01/2022 09:18

Do you have a communal area? I'd stick it up on wall there with a note to ask who wrote it and to knock on your door to discuss like adults

Royalbloo · 07/01/2022 09:18

I'd leave it there and pretend not to have seen it, but I'm really annoying lol

5128gap · 07/01/2022 09:19

@BerthaBlythe

Older people (in fact anyone over 40 probably) learned to write cursive. That handwriting is what is taught in schools today.
I'm 52 and my writing looks very like that. It's exactly how we were taught in the 70s.
BoodleBug51 · 07/01/2022 09:19

Just to add in a different perspective, my dad lives in a block of flats that was initially only let/sold to over 65s. He's been there for around 5 years, and as quite a few flats were empty, the landlord started letting without age restrictions which included young families. You can then imagine the reactions of several of the older residents who went from zero noise other than loud TV's and carers buzzing doors to having busy young families running around ............ I'm just wondering if where you live is similar OP.

But there's no excuse for that note whatsover. I'd leave it there and not react...... even though it's so tempting.

blisstwins · 07/01/2022 09:21

My daughter has colic and an old woman lives across the hall for us. The walls were thin. I stood at the elevator one day and apologized to her for the constant crying and noise. She told me never to apologize for the sounds of LIFE. THat we had all been babies once and that she knew the crying was hard on me, but it brought her back to the best time of her life when she was a young mother herself. She told me to ask her for help if I need it and dropped off a plate of cookies after that.
That was almost twenty years ago and surely that neighbor is gone now, but she will
Never be forgotten for that kindness and she taught me a lot about being in the moment and about how I want to age.
Your neighbor is a horror. Don’t let it bother you. Just be glad you are not as miserable.

ElephantInPrint · 07/01/2022 09:23

Copy it and post it back to everyone with an equally passive aggressive reply.

My Sister lives in a top floor flat and has a 3 year old. When he started walking they had complaints from the neighbours below. Asking if they could keep him quiet (and stop him walking around) so early in the morning. They moved out 6 months later.

Magnited · 07/01/2022 09:23

Have not RTFT, but that looks like a younger person's writing 15-30. Not someone in their 70's, who I receive written correspondence from all the time.

ElephantInPrint · 07/01/2022 09:23

@ElephantInPrint

Copy it and post it back to everyone with an equally passive aggressive reply.

My Sister lives in a top floor flat and has a 3 year old. When he started walking they had complaints from the neighbours below. Asking if they could keep him quiet (and stop him walking around) so early in the morning. They moved out 6 months later.

The neighbours, not my Sister.
PAFMO · 07/01/2022 09:24

@GrandRapids

My mum has hand writing like that. She's in her 70's.

I really don't think that was written by a teenager. An arsey old bloke more like.

I don't think it was written by a teenager either. More likely someone in their twenties or thirties.
MyAnacondaMight · 07/01/2022 09:25

They wrote a cruel note. You claim you want to beat them unconscious. Seems lots of people are unnecessarily aggressive when anonymous.

I wouldn’t want to live below a crying newborn and a 5 year old running about, but there was no need for that note.

HeidiHaus · 07/01/2022 09:25

Agree looks like a younger person's writing. But anyone that vile would be capable of getting a grandchild to write it for them. I would also write a response at the bottom, photocopy and distribute to all.

StellaGibson118 · 07/01/2022 09:25

I'm petty and would leave it on the door and write FUCK OFF underneath.

So sorry you've received this. I would be really angry/upset. Very cowardly that they daren't speak like that to your face.

PAFMO · 07/01/2022 09:27

The OP says "her" lights out and refers to "she" in her OP.
Such a threatening note, plus the OP's almost certainty of who the writer is would probably merit a formal complaint to building management, landlords if relevant and/or the police.
Maybe that's what the OP is doing at the moment.

Dindundundundeeer · 07/01/2022 09:28

That doesn’t look like someone over 50’ by the style of writing

mindutopia · 07/01/2022 09:28

@SoupDragon

I would write a polite response and make enough copies to post through every single door in the building.
Yes, this. I'd attach a copy of the letter you received with it. I suspect you are not the only person who this idiot has taken issue with. It will probably get you on side with the rest of the neighbours.