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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to knock her lights out?

416 replies

AngryMumOfTwo · 07/01/2022 07:52

Hi,

I've nc'ed to be anon with this.

I'm quite upset because this note was stuck to our door overnight.

A bit of background. We've moved into this privately rented flat about 4 years ago, when our daughter was only 1. She is now 5. We have just had our second (and last) over Christmas. Like all newborns, she cries at night sometimes. She isn't too bad to be honest, at least we didn't think she was. Our oldest did cry a lot.

We get along with most people who live here. We're generally quiet and private as is all the other residents. Over 50% of them are elderly, though this isn't a retirement block of flats. We're the youngest, but there are others not much older then us.

We don't know who left the note. It is obviously unsigned. We have our suspicions but that's all. If they had knocked on the door and spoken to us, that wouldn't be a problem.

For their own sake, they better hope I don't find out who it is. I'm furious. It's horrid. The residents we've spoken to over the last few days have said how lovely she is but no noise complaints. Our immediate neighbours and the lady directly below are nice people so I don't think it's them.

I'm not sure what else I can really do about this. I had to vent my anger somewhere, sorry. My partner is angry but also found it amusing.

To want to knock her lights out?
OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/01/2022 08:34

@SerendipityJane

Since this is a home for older residents we look forward so seeing you die one by one you horrid cunts.

Lots of love

AngryMumOfTwo

You think being vile to the entire building is the way to go?
crimblecrumbles · 07/01/2022 08:34

I don't think that's from an older person. That's young ish handwriting and odd to mention older residents. It's a newborn, they cry. But it's temporary! The note is obviously from someone without children. Either way it's rude and out of order. You will probably never find out who it is so try and ignore it and continue doing a great job.

Gastricbland · 07/01/2022 08:35

@eekbumbler

That isn't an old persons handwriting, they write like my 12 year old.
Yes I thought it looks like my 12yo son's too. Although the spelling is better.

'Moving in to breed' is a really awful phrase.

I had a neighbour complain about my son actually when he was a newborn. It was awful. We did everything we could. Actually she didn't really complain. She just turned her music up really loud. She had teenage twins at the time and said 'she'd done her time with babies' and didn't want to hear ours. Totally forgetting that she must have had crying babies too.

Ladyglittersparkleseriously · 07/01/2022 08:35

@Pegasussnail

That is a very spiteful note written by what seems like a year 9 pupil in its mentality.
Actually, from the handwriting and the content, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a year 9 pupil!
Theluggage15 · 07/01/2022 08:35

It doesn’t look like an older person’s writing, I agree with others. Maybe the bit about elderly residents is to distract from the actual writer. Really, really unpleasant note, not surprised you’re upset. What a nasty coward they are. If they’re being disturbed then some white noise or silicone ear plugs or both would fix it for them.

I would do what pps suggest, copy that note with a reply and post through everyone’s doors.

Lizzy1980 · 07/01/2022 08:36

@BigButtons

The handwriting style is that of a younger person- I recognise it well( teacher)
This
ChristmasSchmismas · 07/01/2022 08:36

Next time baby is crying, I'd be tempted to walk her up and down the corridor while she's screaming her head off. Then they'll hear the difference....

GoBrookeYourself · 07/01/2022 08:36

What an awful note and to hide behind anonymity is disgusting. If you have a problem enough to write such a horrible note then at least say who it’s from so you can speak to them. Ignore them and carry on as you are, all babies cry.

MollysDolly · 07/01/2022 08:36

By looking at the handwriting, I'd say that's written by a child. I mean that in the sense of it looks like my school books. And DS school books. I can't really explain what it is that makes it child like, but it's child's handwriting. Like it's not got it's own style, just awkwardly joined up letters. The grammar is childish too. "Breed"??! I can't see an elderly person phrasing something like that. Not impossible, granted, but unlikely.

Adult handwriting just looks different. I'd say the older child of a resident, or the grandchild of a resident has heard their grand/parent saying "ah I didn't sleep well again, I hope that baby sleeps through soon" and have left a stupid note on their behalf. I bet they don't even know the note has been left.

It's a bit of a tricky one, because there's nothing you can do. It's a little like when you get on a plane and a young baby cries the whole flight. It's not the baby's fault, and it's not yours. It's still annoying to have to listen to though, when it's not your child, but because you are inherently in the same location, you have to listen to it. No, no one's enjoying your baby crying all night. Yes quite a few of them are going to be pissed off if they are kept up every night from someone else's baby crying. But there's literally nothing you can do about it. You're not going anywhere. Neither are they. Basically your neighbours are sleep deprived because of the noise coming from your flat, and sleep deprivation is shit. How would you feel if you didn't sleep every night because of a random baby crying in the flat next door to you. It's very different when it's your own child.

You've just got to ride this out. I'm sorry, it must be crap for you. But you, and they, don't really have an alternative.

Builderscrack · 07/01/2022 08:37

@AngryMumOfTwo
😂🤣😂

Builderscrack · 07/01/2022 08:38

Sorry- that was meant for @SerendipityJane

SituationCritical · 07/01/2022 08:38

What a horrid note. Completely unnecessary. Sadly some people are just massive twats! I'm sure this is not the general feeling of most the building so try not to take it to heart -my lovely BIL got a delightful handwritten message on his car one day saying that his sort wasn't welcome in the village. He is a British born Muslim. I'd either completely ignore it and chuck it in the bin or write one of the polite replies above and post in the communal area. Don't let it get you down though. It's one person (who you don't give a shit about) and you haven't done anything wrong. It's like those idiots who post notes on ambulances responding to emergency calls -you can't fix stupid.

Wouldlovetobeinthesun · 07/01/2022 08:39

@eekbumbler

That isn't an old persons handwriting, they write like my 12 year old.
That's what I thought too.
Danikm151 · 07/01/2022 08:39

Send a note saying thank you our sex life is great… there’s another one on the way 🤣

BettyOBarley · 07/01/2022 08:39

That's horrible. Doesn't look like an elderly person's handwriting to me.

GeodesicDome · 07/01/2022 08:39

This thread is a study in unconscious bias.

What makes you think the writer was a woman, OP?

elfycat · 07/01/2022 08:39

Log it with 101. My cousin received an unsigned note through the door about her pre-teen children shouting and playing in the garden during a summer holiday. The police came round and collected the note. A few locals had had them, and because the person wasn't very bright and had complained about all children in the area they could put pins in a map and see who was in the middle - they get told to stop it.

So log it as harassment (your anger comes from a place of fear in this situation - wanting to hit out is a fight or flight thing) and then add that you've done so to a post it on your door.

Tee20x · 07/01/2022 08:40

Yep writes like my brother who has to write in cursive. Looks like a teenage boys scrawl.

Roselilly36 · 07/01/2022 08:40

Totally ridiculous OP, I would feel inclined to write a comment on their and stick it back on the door, or tape it up in the communal area.

Re: unsigned note taped to my door.

I am sorry if my babies cries are disturbing others sleep, as well as our own. My baby is well cared for, but cries as all babies do.

RedHelenB · 07/01/2022 08:40

@LethargicActress

That is a very nasty way of letting you know that your family is disturbing other people, but your aggressive reaction is OTT. I’d give this person the benefit of the doubt and try to reason that they probably wrote this note after a night of disturbances when they were feeling particularly angry. No one wants to be woken up by other people’s crying children.
This. Nothing can be done though, you live in flats and babies cry.
THisbackwithavengeance · 07/01/2022 08:40

It's shit to receive a note like that.

But I actually disagree with the MN theory that all babies cry excessively and continued crying especially at night is to be expected and tolerated and perhaps ignored.

Babies cry when their needs are not being met. Newborns crying is distressing for those who have to listen to it. That's nature's way presumably to ensure that newborns are not ignored? I hate it when I am in the supermarket, Primark etc and people are blithely and unconcernedly going about their shopping whilst their tiny babies howl in the pram.

If your baby is crying for continual periods to the point that it's pissing off the neighbours, perhaps a check up with the GP or midwife is in order assuming of course that you are feeding on cues and not doing any form of controlled crying?

LittleOwl153 · 07/01/2022 08:41

Yeah I just reread that note. It is a teenage boy or young immature man I would suspect....

But I'd take it down, put it in a drawer incase futher issues occur, and forget about it. Cowardly twats!

Mamamia7962 · 07/01/2022 08:41

Agree with other posters that the note has been written by a young person. Not very well educated either.

Older people have a certain handwriting style because of how they were taught to write.

I would ignore it. It's obviously someone who wants to create trouble and drama between the younger and older tenants.

TragoCardboardCopper · 07/01/2022 08:43

That's not an older person's writing. The tail of the f is the 'wrong' way round.
My DF is in his 60s and was most put out when I (I'm 30s) was being taught to do my f like your writer, with the tail curling backwards. He and DM were taught the tail curls forwards then up to the middle.

Anyway, whoever they are they're foul. I'd be tempted to post a reply including the not to all your neighbours. If it's a teen living with parents they may even recognise the writing and give them a bollocking for you!

A580Hojas · 07/01/2022 08:44

Pin it up in a communal area, where all residents will see it, and just write on it "Such a shame to be neighbours with a miserable coward like this, I had always felt this was a nice block to live in. To anyone disturbed by our baby - apologies and please be assured we do everything to comfort her when she is crying"