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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to knock her lights out?

416 replies

AngryMumOfTwo · 07/01/2022 07:52

Hi,

I've nc'ed to be anon with this.

I'm quite upset because this note was stuck to our door overnight.

A bit of background. We've moved into this privately rented flat about 4 years ago, when our daughter was only 1. She is now 5. We have just had our second (and last) over Christmas. Like all newborns, she cries at night sometimes. She isn't too bad to be honest, at least we didn't think she was. Our oldest did cry a lot.

We get along with most people who live here. We're generally quiet and private as is all the other residents. Over 50% of them are elderly, though this isn't a retirement block of flats. We're the youngest, but there are others not much older then us.

We don't know who left the note. It is obviously unsigned. We have our suspicions but that's all. If they had knocked on the door and spoken to us, that wouldn't be a problem.

For their own sake, they better hope I don't find out who it is. I'm furious. It's horrid. The residents we've spoken to over the last few days have said how lovely she is but no noise complaints. Our immediate neighbours and the lady directly below are nice people so I don't think it's them.

I'm not sure what else I can really do about this. I had to vent my anger somewhere, sorry. My partner is angry but also found it amusing.

To want to knock her lights out?
OP posts:
Momicrone · 07/01/2022 08:27

As a fan of 'only murders in the building', I would start an investigation, somehow get a writing sample of each flat and find the culprit!

BigButtons · 07/01/2022 08:28

The handwriting style is that of a younger person- I recognise it well( teacher)

WeAreTheHeroes · 07/01/2022 08:28

I think if you want to do anything about it, you could post a copy up in a communal area and ask if the writer could contact you without sending another anonymous note or does anyone recognise the handwriting?

SerendipityJane · 07/01/2022 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Rainartist · 07/01/2022 08:28

I too would leave the note up or put in the communal area with a note explaining what it is.

Cocomarine · 07/01/2022 08:29

I would photocopy it and but it through every door.

“Dear Neighbour - we received this note, but as you can see it’s not signed. We’d like to apologise in person to the resident affected by our new baby crying (though not for breeding) but it’s anonymous. As it’s just after Xmas, thought that one of you may recognise the handwriting from a neighbour’s Xmas card, and could let us know?! Kindest regards.”

That way, the gossip will go round like wildfire, and the writer will KNOW that someone in the block is going to know it’s them - even if it never gets back to you. Should make them nicely on edge 😆

crochetmonkey74 · 07/01/2022 08:29

You know what I would be really tempted to do?
I would be tempted to stick the note onto a larger bit of paper and add my on notes to it about how it is unacceptable and vile particularly the 'to breed' line

I would also say you consider it harrassment and are taking further advice and put it under the door of everyone

It's so disgusting

KloppsTeeth · 07/01/2022 08:29

That looks like my teenagers writing, and that of others his age. It isn’t him of course, but that’s the age group I would suspect.

I’d leave the note up, with the addition of a signature - A. Coward and leave it for everyone to see.

It is very upsetting and unkind. Flowers

FrancescaContini · 07/01/2022 08:29

That’s really really nasty. So sorry. Enjoy your newborn Flowers

Turangawaewae · 07/01/2022 08:29

Leave the note up. Tape some ear plugs to it. Write 'free ear plugs' on it with an arrow.

Then ignore.

KirstenBlest · 07/01/2022 08:29

I'd leave the note up.

FOJN · 07/01/2022 08:30

That isn't an old persons handwriting, they write like my 12 year old.

I agree, the style doesn't seem right for an older person and I'm interested by use of the term breed, I wouldn't usually exact that to come from a female adult.

It's certainly vile but I can understand why your partner finds it amusing, I would find it hard to take seriously.

I would copy it and add a note of your own which simply says, "I'm sorry my baby is causing a disturbance. I'm happy to supply ear plugs if the writer of the note would like to come and see me", post a copy through everyone's door and leave it at that.

Congratulations BTW.

MarineBlue33 · 07/01/2022 08:30

I think it must be one of your neighbours who are next to you or below/ above. They could have complained to a younger visiting relative who took it upon themselves to write the note.
I would go around asking neighbours and you should be able to fish out who the guilty party is.
Don't worry about it too much. Enjoy your baby

Wheresthebeach · 07/01/2022 08:30

Well that's vile.

I'd post it in the communal area with a note asking them to have the courtesy to sign their communications in future. I'd also suggest ear plugs, and that if they are unhappy with the noise that family life brings that perhaps they'd be better suited to an over 50's development.

But I accept that ignoring it might be best.

Mumoblue · 07/01/2022 08:30

I’d be complaining to the landlord/building manager.

Also some people are saying it can’t be an older person due to the handwriting- just thought I’d say my ex had that style of messy handwriting and he’s in his 30s, so it’s not automatically a teenager.

ticktockriojaoclock · 07/01/2022 08:30

Agree you're being trolled by a bored teenager OP. That handwriting looks the same as a lot of my students'. Hope you get to the bottom of it.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/01/2022 08:30

@Turangawaewae

Leave the note up. Tape some ear plugs to it. Write 'free ear plugs' on it with an arrow.

Then ignore.

Also tape up a little empty sandwich bag labelled "all the fucks I give"
Fairyliz · 07/01/2022 08:31

Well it is a horrible note but they were probably too scared to approach you directly if you are the sort of person who want to ‘knock people’s lights out’ as opposed to having a reasonable discussion.

IncompleteSenten · 07/01/2022 08:31

I'd photocopy it and send it to every flat with your reply.

Something saying how you're sorry but since the person who wrote the note didn't sign it you thought it best to be sure they'd get the reply.
Then some shit about how sorry you are that they are being disturbed but unfortunately babies do cry. However, if they know how to quiet a baby you would be absolutely delighted to know how so they are most welcome to come and teach you. It would be hugely helpful because obviously it would improve your own sleep too.

Annaghgloor · 07/01/2022 08:32

It’s a horrible note. I would photocopy and write a politely frigid response deploring both the anonymity and the sentiments, and asking the person to come and talk to you directly if they have a problem with your baby crying, and put a copy through all residents’ doors.

Zippy1510 · 07/01/2022 08:32

Vile. I would put my own note back up “Dear cowardly note leaver. Next time you wish to leave us some unsolicited advice please first take the note paper, fold lengthways twice and insert it right up your anus. Your opinions are irrelevant to us”

WeAreTheHeroes · 07/01/2022 08:32

I agree that ignoring it is likely to be the most effective way of countering this, but if the same landlord owns all the flats I'd be letting them or the management company know because there's a nasty aggressive undertone to the whole thing.

GreetingsAndSalutations · 07/01/2022 08:32

Yikes they’re a rude fucker- no wonder they didn’t choose to knock and have a chat with you about it with that attitude!

girlmom21 · 07/01/2022 08:33

That's a young man's handwriting OP. All 3 of my brothers wrote like that in their late teens/early 20s.

Don't kick off. It's not worth it.

WeAreTheHeroes · 07/01/2022 08:33

@Mumoblue

I’d be complaining to the landlord/building manager.

Also some people are saying it can’t be an older person due to the handwriting- just thought I’d say my ex had that style of messy handwriting and he’s in his 30s, so it’s not automatically a teenager.

Using the term "an older person" implies someone 60+ to me though.