Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

leaving the oven door open after you cook a meal so you can heat up the house.

Doesn't everyone do this? You've paid for the heat, so you may as well use it.

Isn’t it just about being clear on your values rather than a class thing per se?

My dps were over extended on their mortgage and prioritised our education and we grew up in a cold house, making do and mending and living the now trendy eco friendly lifestyle because we hadn’t two pennies to rub together.

I spent my summer holiday wages on a laptop for college back before they were standard, and a friend was moaning about not being able to afford one but was buying new clothes, drinking every weekend like it was a religion and eating take aways. Her family drove high end cars and went skiing.

I think it is worth considering carefully what’s important to you and realising that even billionaires can’t have it all (they can suffer from a lack of privacy and peace of mind). But it’s ok to spend your money however you want - I don’t think it’s a moral issue; just a financial one

@mowglika ah reading that back that’s not what I meant although I can see how that’s what you took away.

What I meant was is that there is no shame in scrimping, cutting open the toothpaste tube to get the last 10 servings out, wearing 2nd hand etc. I’d never judge someone for it and neither would any of the people I know who have more money. All I meant was that everyone should know that it’s normal for many people to do this even if they have pots of money.

More prosaically with a bigger house and less constrained budget you can buy in bulk when on offer (or buy direct eg get a whole lamb from the farmer) and get more for a fraction of the unit price.

@Cam22

Even if I were attempting to get a gold medal in frugality, however, I would draw the line at buying supermarket clothes.

Sigh. Such snobbery.

In my experience some of the truly rich are often like that because they are quite mean!

And yes upper middle and middle class frugality is either (a) because they are asset rich and cash poor (b) school fees (c) horses.

@BerthaBlythe

Isn’t it just about being clear on your values rather than a class thing per se?

My dps were over extended on their mortgage and prioritised our education and we grew up in a cold house, making do and mending and living the now trendy eco friendly lifestyle because we hadn’t two pennies to rub together.

I spent my summer holiday wages on a laptop for college back before they were standard, and a friend was moaning about not being able to afford one but was buying new clothes, drinking every weekend like it was a religion and eating take aways. Her family drove high end cars and went skiing.

I think it is worth considering carefully what’s important to you and realising that even billionaires can’t have it all (they can suffer from a lack of privacy and peace of mind). But it’s ok to spend your money however you want - I don’t think it’s a moral issue; just a financial one

By 'prioritised our education', do you mean 'paid for private school'?

@BerthaBlythe

Isn’t it just about being clear on your values rather than a class thing per se?

My dps were over extended on their mortgage and prioritised our education and we grew up in a cold house, making do and mending and living the now trendy eco friendly lifestyle because we hadn’t two pennies to rub together.

I spent my summer holiday wages on a laptop for college back before they were standard, and a friend was moaning about not being able to afford one but was buying new clothes, drinking every weekend like it was a religion and eating take aways. Her family drove high end cars and went skiing.

I think it is worth considering carefully what’s important to you and realising that even billionaires can’t have it all (they can suffer from a lack of privacy and peace of mind). But it’s ok to spend your money however you want - I don’t think it’s a moral issue; just a financial one

My boyfriends family at school were like this. Nice house, but no other money. No or very frugal days out, no money to decorate the house nicely, battered old furniture, no money for kids activities. It seemed a totally depressing way to live and a depressing way of life to choose for your kids.

I am lowering the tone here but I was once watching Through the Keyhole. One of the houses had a grand entrance hall and reception rooms and a very ordinary kitchen with quite dated appliances and units. The panel were completely bemused but I knew immediately it had to be someone 'posh'. It was actually the home of Lady Colin Campbell (the one who was on I'm a Celebrity and writes biographies about the Royal Family). There was no need to have a luxury kitchen - she wasn't the one cooking - but the rest of the house needed to be grand.

Upper and middle class people are much more careful about keeping resources in the family, perfectly summed up in Montana's example where she gives £20 for the teacher's leaving present and the other person who gave a fiver. You only need to read some of the inheritance threads here to see this thinking in action.

I also completely agree with those posters who have pointed out that many people on average wages could never go on skiing holidays even if they made packed lunches every day.

@PenguinIce

I do find it strange how:

Middle class people who buy their children second hand clothes but go on fancy holidays are frugal and something to aspire to. Yet lower class people who buy their children second hand clothes but have an iPhone haven’t ‘got their priorities right’ and should be shamed.

Well said.

Some people just don’t buy in to luxury items even if they can afford them because they do not want them. Have you contemplated that?

What items would you buy if you could buy anything at all. I don’t mean items that only the really wealthy can afford such as full time staff or a private jet.

It’s much easier and more palatable to be frugal when it’s a choice

👍

DH and I have relatively higher incomes and I'm always astonished ~horrified~ by how much some people spend on things like:

• redecorating, replacing sofas, carpets, curtains, bedding and furniture as often as every couple of years
• takeaways, meals out and pre prepared food
• hair/beauty/grooming eg spending hundreds every month
• masses of presents for kids at every occasion
• masses of clothes for kids
• stuff bought on monthly payments - expensive brand new cars, iPhones & tablets

The only things I would say we probably spend more than average on are:

• childrens books. Our local library isnt great, the better one is further away and I struggle to find time to get there locally, so do tend to buy a lot. But I'm good at hunting for good value sets, second hand etc.

• I do buy brand new school uniform. It gets worn 5 days a week, so to me its an expense that is worth it and I buy fewer other kids clothes so I dont mind. I buy with growing room though and try to get a couple of years out of a jumper etc and I wash carefully and expect things to be passed down to sibling.

@Montana7

No not a lazy journalist at all just a mum wondering where I can start clawing back... An example would be school teacher collection, I gave 20 quid to put in pot as it was an "open" amount, had coffee after with one of the high earning mums & she asked me to pass on a fiver to the mum who was collecting... Also grumbling about having to give 3 other fivers for her other kids collections... I put 20 into each of my kids collections as I assumed that's what the others would do.. ( v affluent state school)

I've never known parents to give more than £5 per child to be honest. With 30 children that's £150 which is surely more than enough for a teacher's present and something for the TA?

I also completely agree with those posters who have pointed out that many people on average wages could never go on skiing holidays even if they made packed lunches every day.
Quite. Just did a quick Google. £7.5k for 5 of us, half board, assuming the kids need lessons and we hire skis etc. Crammed in a two bed appt. Before other costs (only half board for example) and that was TERM TIME.
£620+ savings a month isn't about cutting down on luxuries

Well it's a bit like Harry and M spouting about zero this and that while jetting all over the place and living in a massive mansion?

I gave 20 quid to put in pot as it was an "open" amount, had coffee after with one of the high earning mums & she asked me to pass on a fiver to the mum who was collecting... Also grumbling about having to give 3 other fivers for her other kids collections... I put 20 into each of my kids collections as I assumed that's what the others would do.. ( v affluent state school)

Did you seriously think the class gift would be something that cost £600?!? I mean, really?

That's what 30 x £20 is, and if you're a high earner you should be able to work that out.

Isn't it about time we had a 'fight over who is which class' section on MN?

I'm not frugal at all. After pensions and a small mortgage, myself and DP spend our average incomes on nice clothes, holidays, eating out, stuff for the kids who are entertained and looking decent.

My asset-rich, cash poor, upper-middle class parents with a grand designs house are horrified by this. But to us, these things improve our quality of life more than a massive house would. (I also find things like date nights are important to our happy relationship).

Yes, charity shops are full of clever middle class people with loads of dosh who are buying Boden tops for £1.50, while those silly working-class people waste their money on £1000 Nike trainers ...

There seem to have been a lot of threads and posts to that effect of late.

Absolute load of stereotyping rubbish.

There are frugal and extravagant people amongst all social classes and incomes.

I remember the article about the Middletons too. It was very very bitchy - and screamed out that the Middletons tried too hard because they were new money.But then Kate managed to bag the future king, which must have put a few noses out of joint.

@RoyalFamilyFan in my experience, older homes purchased a long time ago often have the worst carpets. Its a lot of upheaval to keep refurbishing. And its the houses that were bought a long time ago that are often the most valuable. If you look at the million pound home thread, most people would say they bought them years ago; and I do find with expensive, desirable areas, the homes come up for sale very rarely and often they are sold only when the owner has passed on.

An upper class person is more likely to have inherited a house. I have new carpets only because I bought an ex rental flat 'spruced up for sale' 2 years ago. Renters probably are also more likely to have nicer carpets as people do not stay in their rentals for very long in the UK so the landlord would need to refresh the flat periodically to attract renters...

An old decaying house or flat in a desirable area is more of a sign of wealth than a new build house or apartment in my book, the property values also reflect that...

@DeepaBeesKit

DH and I have relatively higher incomes and I'm always astonished ~horrified~ by how much some people spend on things like:

• redecorating, replacing sofas, carpets, curtains, bedding and furniture as often as every couple of years
• takeaways, meals out and pre prepared food
• hair/beauty/grooming eg spending hundreds every month
• masses of presents for kids at every occasion
• masses of clothes for kids
• stuff bought on monthly payments - expensive brand new cars, iPhones & tablets

The only things I would say we probably spend more than average on are:

• childrens books. Our local library isnt great, the better one is further away and I struggle to find time to get there locally, so do tend to buy a lot. But I'm good at hunting for good value sets, second hand etc.

• I do buy brand new school uniform. It gets worn 5 days a week, so to me its an expense that is worth it and I buy fewer other kids clothes so I dont mind. I buy with growing room though and try to get a couple of years out of a jumper etc and I wash carefully and expect things to be passed down to sibling.

You've not mentioned holidays.... I presume you do take holidays if you earn well? It's hilarious that you thought to mention books, but not holidays.

All the people on here claiming to be frugal, but subtly omitting to mention the holidays / private school fees etc. are ridiculous. Just admit that you prioritise your spending differently to others - stop pretending that your choices make you more virtuous.

When I met my husband he was a student and walked about in clothes full of holes, because he didn't care about clothes. Now he's a millionaire and still walks about in clothes full of holes, because he still doesn't care about clothes.

Not sure class has much to do with frugality (beyond the obvious fact that you can't spend what you don't have). If people have money but don't spend that money on something, it's because they don't value that thing- UMC people aren't frugal, they just value different things (some of them, they're not a monolith). If OP is spending money on things she doesn't value, she should stop.

They aren't frugal If they go on safaris and skiing trips and keep horses! They may spend less than they could on some things but that doesn't make them frugal nor virtuous.