Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

Oh there was always a thimble in the stocking for the girls too.

Its not frugal though is it? Its just loving the kick you get from a bargain. There's a big difference between buying clothes second hands cos you get that hunter-gatherer boost of joy when you find a quality item for a fiver, and having to shop second hand as you literally can't afford new, and you're panicking that you won't be able to find the winter clothes you need in the charity shops.

I've done both. When I had no cash I just felt deeply ashamed and depressed every time I went to a charity shop. It was no longer the leisure activity it used to be.

@vivainsomnia

I think it's very easy to make a CHOICE to wear 2nd hand. When you know you have enough money to buy brand new clothes - it's a luxury to choose not to I'm not sure it's that. Many people with money are not money or luxury driven. They settle for cheaper just because they don't see the value or point of spending for what meets their requirement.

I spend more money on items that provide an added benefit and better quality. I don't see the point of spending more when more is only the replica of cheaper but for the brand.

It's a matter of principle rather than money.

No, I do think there's a reverse status symbol type thing going on. Its a signal that you can choose to buy second hand because there is no stigma or shame attached to it, as you don't need to. So you can enter that shop with confidence and your head held high.

Like I say, I've done both, bought from charity as a choice and from an absence of choice. They are completely different experiences.

@RoyalFamilyFan where did I say I had to be frugal? I didn’t I said it was very much a choice and explained why. I was also agreeing with another poster who said it’s much easier to be frugal when it’s a choice.

In my experience, the cheapest people I've known have been rich. I'm not using the word frugal, which I think connotes approval, but cheap. I'm talking about people making multiple hundreds of thousands of pounds in income who are horrified at paying taxes and will do anything to avoid it, would rather buy everything on Amazon then support local businesses, give very little to charity, and try to get away with paying cleaners and childcare workers as little as possible while they themselves would never take a job that pays them ten quid an hour or disallows sick days.

I tend to buy quality but make it last - some of my practical coats and boots are 5 plus years old

I love the way you think clothes or shoes being five years old, is like, really old and worthy of mention. I only chuck clothes when they are literally worn through and unwearable. Talking decades of usage here!

@PicaK

I think it's very easy to make a CHOICE to wear 2nd hand. When you know you have enough money to buy brand new clothes - it's a luxury to choose not to. If your peer group do this it's also a kind of badge. When you have no choice (because you can't afford to) then elements of shame creep in.

They also have better quality second hand.

The most frugal people I know are middle class, have young DC and love in nice areas. They spend on brands such as John Lewis and Sweaty Betty but not on holidays or eating out.

"Lots of people enjoy charity shop buying. I know people who see it as a fun day out to scour all the charity shops for bargains.
Great hobby."

Charity shops in rich areas are quite different though.

Also, when you have money it is easier to save money. You can pay bills annually making big savings, such as your council tax and insurances, rather than pay monthly which is more expensive, or even using meters which is worse.

Remember the backlash to the news that some girls were missing school because some parents couldnt afford sanitary towels? Loads of people stating how cheap they are in supermarkets, with actually no understanding at all the some people cannot afford cars and dont living walking distance to supermarkets so do the bulk of their shopping at incredibly expensive local shops, where sanitary towels can cost 4 times the amount. Lots of people had no concept of not being able to just pop to a supermarket in a car / taxi / bus.

@CrimbleCrumble1

The most frugal people I know are middle class, have young DC and love in nice areas. They spend on brands such as John Lewis and Sweaty Betty but not on holidays or eating out.

Well then they're not frugal are they?

Honoured to be the first to present Sam Vimes’ theory of economic inequality:

@Montana7

Education is a different matter some are private, others good state or church school (feigned religion since their dc were born). However without fail all the families are deeply invested in the dc's education regardless of if their paying for it or not..

So it seems only the MC and UC appreciate the value of money despite not being the ones working zero hour contracts, minimum wage and having to count every penny to make rent at the end of the month. That's just because the WC have no sense or appreciation and waste it on crap. And all your MC and MC friends also value education, a point you needed to make to separate them out from the WC who presumably only value school as childcare do they can watch their massive tvs whilst staring at their designer trainers.

Can I suggest you live within your means instead of trying to keep up with your peers as per putting in more than you wanted into the staff collection so you'd look at good as your richer friends

As my DH always says "that's why they can afford to go skiing because they priortise this over other luxuries"..

I think it's easier to spend on plastic than part with money sitting in a bank account.

Also if a family has lots of nice things and experiences taking sandwiches to work or a picnic to a day out which may be a walk in the woods or National Trust visit isn't given a second thought. If people are constantly stretched an worried, a sandwich or coffee/lunch at the museum is a relatively inexpensive treat in a world where there are few bigger treats.

I've known people who are quite happy to let you spend your cash, whilst they are driving round in expensive cars. Children look scruffy but they have a house on a nice street. All a bit odd.

@Montana7

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

Well I guess it’s hard to know since the working classes don’t really get to showcase their skills at getting the best deals for multiple safari and ski trips.

It’s easy to pride yourself on getting a great safari deal when that’s all you have to worry about. Much harder to boast about your frugality when you’re poor because somehow it’s not then seen as impressive.

It's more the fact they have nothing to prove.

If I (working class) turned up to the school run in filthy clothes, covered in dog/horse hair and tatty clothes I would be seen as dirty/lazy .A middle class woman would not be typically viewed that way.

The stereotypes that we are all guilty of buying in to play a huge factor. Someone on benefits isn't allowed a big flat screen TV but a middle class family can own horses while dodging taxes (obviously not all)

Just because they seem to be frugal with "everyday stuff" doesn't mean they are frugal and working class just fritter away their money. What my friend spends on her horses (her hard earned money to do as she pleases) is more than I would spend on holidays/days out in a year. But my latest IPhone is seen as too extravagant...

People with no money are the most frugal.

And please don’t try and peddle the ridiculously stupid view that ‘that’s how they afford ski trips, because they prioritise it.’

Many very necessary jobs that literally keep the world ticking over in good order are horribly paid. Lots of us who work in these jobs are very good at budgeting and don’t waste money. It’s not a case of ‘if you just cut back on lunches out you’d be able to go on multiple ski trips and safaris too.’

And if you really think it is I imagine you’re just very naive or wilfully ignorant,

Bullshit

Also I've been the most frugal when skint, boiling eggs in a kettle because its cheaper than having it on the hob, or leaving the oven door open after you cook a meal so you can heat up the house.

Pretending to make do and mend whilst having a privileged life is a bit of a hobby isn't it ,?

Frugality is a nice hobby.

When you have money and you know you’re not being judged for your choices they’re much easier to make. Whether it be wearing third hand, tatty coats or living out the cupboards for two weeks knowing that you can actually buy what you want when you want.

The great thing for them though is that they have the choice and saving money is more like a hobby for them rather than trying to make ends meet.