To feel 0 sympathy-24 hours in police custody *MNHQ adding content warning for distressing information regarding a child*

[Menmy3]

AIBU to have absolutely no sympathy for poor baby Teddie’s useless mother. Going from one man to the next allowing one into her home that was clearly abusing her children and not protecting them. I know she was the victim of DV and usually I’d be advocating for her 100% but she showed no emotion, no remorse. Those poor babies.

Dressing me too.

And mine are also with the child that you once were.

I'm sorry that the adults who should have protected you failed to provide the things you needed.

I'm sorry that so many adults are so fucking shit, and that many have understandable reasons for being so fucking shit.

It is striking that with your history you have compassion for the people who failed Teddie.

It is brutally sad that the assorted fucking shit means children suffer.

What is this and is there a link please

I was a child that was hit a lot, dragged by my hair etc. by my step dad. I have a memory of sitting having been dragged I the hallway and my mum standing over me and told me I deserved it. I was 12 At 16 I did the classic walk straight into an abusive relationship. Had my oldest at 21, next at 22. I had actually planned to leave once I returned from maternity with oldest and realise I was pregnant with youngest and I stayed another year.

When my youngest was born he had sepsis and was hospitalised, i realised I was more worried about DD at home than DS in hospital. He never hurt the children but there fear was there that this could be the day he did.

I left 3 weeks later.

I was a huge victim of coercive control, but I couldn't put my children at risk. I feel guilt everyday my oldest was there until she was 25 months. 25 months too long.

I've been single since, my children have a stable happy single parent home. I won't move another man in, until they are grown. I won't put them at risk.

I have all the sympathy for victims, I truly get it. I get how petrifying it is to leave, the fear of the unknown making the known more appealing. Wondering how the fuck you will provide. How you will be happy.

I get rebuilding whilst still hearing his voice in absolutely everything. I get how hard it is.

But children are priority and their needs must be first. I would walk to the other side of the world to keep them safe.

Mum was a victim but she also allowed it to happen. She should have been held to account.

Women amaze me.

Here you are, on this thread. Fucking Queens. Getting shit done, getting on with it, despite all that undeserved crap you were subjected to.

Inspiring. Sincerely.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria
Thank you. And I agree that it is so sad how many children suffer day after day and there just no end to it.
Mumofsend
You said yourself it took you 25 months to leave. Teddie was only 11 weeks old. His mum wouldn’t have long recovered from giving birth. I don’t know how long they lived together prior but it was made clear that when she fell pregnant they were both still dating other people. (Hence him turning out to not be Teddies father). So it can’t have been that long.

I don’t actually want to sound like I’m defending her but I feel there are unanswered questions. Teddie had older injuries but did she know that? They made it sound as though she should have known and surely he would have been crying in pain? But he was a newborn and they can cry a lot. Did she ignore it or didn’t she know?

Also they showed the interview with the child saying Kane dragged them, but again where was she? Did she know? So many abuse victims stay claiming the kids don’t know or hear. She said the same in interview. Was she present at, or told about, abuse towards any of the children? Or did she think it was just her? I feel there are a lot of missing pieces to this.

I don’t think that were meant to have any sympathy for anyone that was arrested in that situation…

@DressingPafe

vivariumvivariumsvivaria Thank you. And I agree that it is so sad how many children suffer day after day and there just no end to it. Mumofsend You said yourself it took you 25 months to leave. Teddie was only 11 weeks old. His mum wouldn’t have long recovered from giving birth. I don’t know how long they lived together prior but it was made clear that when she fell pregnant they were both still dating other people. (Hence him turning out to not be Teddies father). So it can’t have been that long.

I don’t actually want to sound like I’m defending her but I feel there are unanswered questions. Teddie had older injuries but did she know that? They made it sound as though she should have known and surely he would have been crying in pain? But he was a newborn and they can cry a lot. Did she ignore it or didn’t she know?

Also they showed the interview with the child saying Kane dragged them, but again where was she? Did she know? So many abuse victims stay claiming the kids don’t know or hear. She said the same in interview. Was she present at, or told about, abuse towards any of the children? Or did she think it was just her? I feel there are a lot of missing pieces to this.

@DressingPafe

Going by her social media she got with him
in March, had baby in August and let him kill her baby in October.

The time between he was abusing her and her children. She did nothing to help any of her children and covered up what he did to them all constantly.

7 months of meeting someone and he’s killed you baby and you still kiss, hug and defend him and walk free.

@BoodleBug51

It didn't say if her other DC were removed from her?

I hope they're safe.

It said they were with their biological father initially, but I can’t find anything about what has happened since.

Though I did find something saying they had both been ‘barred from activity involving children’.

Whether that includes her own I have no idea, nor if she will be allowed to keep the child she’s currently carrying.

@DressingPafe

vivariumvivariumsvivaria Thank you. And I agree that it is so sad how many children suffer day after day and there just no end to it. Mumofsend You said yourself it took you 25 months to leave. Teddie was only 11 weeks old. His mum wouldn’t have long recovered from giving birth. I don’t know how long they lived together prior but it was made clear that when she fell pregnant they were both still dating other people. (Hence him turning out to not be Teddies father). So it can’t have been that long.

I don’t actually want to sound like I’m defending her but I feel there are unanswered questions. Teddie had older injuries but did she know that? They made it sound as though she should have known and surely he would have been crying in pain? But he was a newborn and they can cry a lot. Did she ignore it or didn’t she know?

Also they showed the interview with the child saying Kane dragged them, but again where was she? Did she know? So many abuse victims stay claiming the kids don’t know or hear. She said the same in interview. Was she present at, or told about, abuse towards any of the children? Or did she think it was just her? I feel there are a lot of missing pieces to this.

I'd say that's worse. It took 25 months for me to leave once dd was born but I was with him 5 years before she was. Leaving a 5 year relationship is a lot more substantial than a 7 month one. To choose a 7 month fling over your newborn baby is uncomprehensible.

@Newyearoldyou

What is this and is there a link please

It’s 24 hours in police custody and can be viewed via Chanel 4 catch up

The children live with their dad and step mum and aren’t allowed contact with their mum.

Thanks.
I'm amazed at the access of this program??

Why does he have an appropriate adult there??
To help him understand the questions.

It's astonishing.

@Newyearoldyou

Thanks. I'm amazed at the access of this program??

Why does he have an appropriate adult there??
To help him understand the questions.

It's astonishing.

Yes - Fred West had an appropriate adult too, there’s a whole drama programme about it called “appropriate adult”. They’re usually allocated to people with learning disabilities or those who cannot read or write, to explain things to them. I noted that Kane didn’t need her to do anything at all!

I'm just on part two.
Her reaction to the babyS injuries.

The way she keeps saying why it matters?
There is something really strange going on there.

I found it interesting how the neighbours reports were able to help police build up a quick picture of him.
What a scary and dangerous man, the way he was going for the neighbours! The bravery of neighbours reporting him. But it seems not much was done when they initially did.

@Soubriquet

Watching him in the interview room now and he’s “crying”. It doesn’t look sincere to me. More like “shit I’ve been caught” or better make it look like I feel remorse

I've just caught up with Part 1 and thought the same about him when he was arrested. I've never seen such poor acting.

Her reaction to the babyS injuries.
That floored me, she was definitely hiding information.
She was cold and unfazed when they described the injuries on his tiny body.
I hope she is never allowed access to her DC again, the verbal arguments between the adults was disgusting, those poor DC must have been terrified many times.

In the neighbours' recordings of him shouting in their flat, I've never heard so much rage in a voice. There's shouting, and that was on a whole new level.

children under the age of 1 have the highest rate of homicide.

@Blinky21

Yet when children from families like these grow up to offend themselves, the media headlines call them 'evil' and they get locked up

The person who goes by the name of "Barbie Kardashian" is a case in point. Grew up in an abusive household and is an absolute headcase as a result.

That picture was only made after a baby died…

No, they are used for anyone who is vulnerable. I am highly educated - and I had one in police interviews because I was at risk at the time.

Re appropriate adults in custody .

When anyone is booked into custody they are asked lots of questions about their circumstances, such as if they have any learning disabilities, mental health issues etc that may make it difficult for them to understand what's being out to them in an interview.
If they say they have any issues , or if the custody Sgt seems them to be in sufficient need of one , then an appropriate adult is appointed. This happens routinely with under 18s ,but also if there is any hint that the person being interviewed may have cause to say later down the line that they didn't understand the questions being asked or the implications thereof .
The appropriate adults role is not to answer on their behalf but merely to ensure the person interviewed understands what is being asked . So for instance - my son has autism . If he were Interviewed he may need someone there to put a question in a different way , or to ensure he fully understands the question being asked . They are there to ensure a fair interview is given - not to speak up on behalf of the interviewee, but ensure it's a fair process .
They are volunteers who are trained .

Oh and to the lister who called a box ticking c* or whatever- I'm far from it .
I'm a decent human being , who tried very hard in the face of extreme circumstances to be fair , to stay impartial , ( after all a the police job is not to act as judge or jury - it is to investigate with a 360 degree mindset , to gather whatever evidence is available and then to give that to a much more highly paid lawyer at the cps for them to make the decision as to whether someone is charged , released etc .
I do my best . I have had to come off from t line for a while because I burnt out entirely dealing with this shit day in and out . Of course it affects you. And I always wanted the best for my victims. It's a dangerous , stressful job whether you are on response or in a cid dept. I did a stint in the DA team . It broke me . And many others I talk to . Every case is different. Every time something terrible happens to a woman , man or children in a dv situation there are So many victims . And I'm not saying all cops are fantastic- in any job you have those that genuinely care and those that go to work . But the majority of my colleagues do this very thankless job because they do care . Things not the headlines when they go wrong or people die - but day in and day out the police work tirelessly and for every case like this , like baby p, star Hanson , there are 100s where police , social services, using marac, etc have prevented tragedies from happening because they got there in time and put procedures in place to safeguard vulnerable men women and children.

I'll get off the soap box now but really - being called a box ticking whatever is truly an insult that hurts personally because that isn't what I am and never have been .

And men are not sent to domestics routinely - there is now a really good split between the sexes in the job - who ever is free goes to a domestic. There are procedures in place that cops have to
Follow - man or woman .