My Mum came from a very abusive household - physical violence, alcoholism, neglect and emotional abuse. She would have been in care today, but at the time, she was invisible. She was often locked in the attic for days at a time while her parents were either drunk, or out getting drunk. She suffered beatings regularly and her parents were very cold, emotionally. She came a very poor 3rd,4th or 5th to drink and the lifestyle they wanted.
I understand the opinion that the woman in the programme was a victim of abuse, but my Mum has very strident views on this. She says the abuse she suffered has damaged her ad left her less of a person. However, in recognising she was abused, she also recognised that it was not acceptable to repeat the cycle herself. She says that people cannot be a victim, but them make their child victims too!
That said, my Mum is amazing. She cut her family off to give us a decent life. She is wise and grounded and she strongly feels that we all have to take responsibility for our actions. No man would have come before her children, and no man ever did. She was equal to my Dad and they had a strong mutually respectful relationship, which was my model.
She couldn't ever let her parents back in - I remember her upset when they sent a Christmas card and she recognised the writing on the envelope. She picked it up and walked to the bin with it at arms length before putting it in there, unopened. She needed to retain control over the situation.
We watched the programme and my daughter watched it too. We talked a lot about her knowing her own worth and never to put up with controlling behaviour.
The eldest child speaking really touched me - so eloquent and intelligent, yet concerned about their mother, who had been there when he had physically abused the children.