Potty Training Pressure!

[LonglegsMumtheBlacksmith]

DS has just turned 3 and I feel like I am under a huge amount of pressure to get him potty trained ASAP.
It seems to be coming from everywhere - family members, friends with kids of similar age, even the CM (who is brilliant).
Problem is that DS is really not into the idea! He was interested months ago and did indeed use the potty once, but then he completely went off of it and became really upset every time it was mentioned. This coincided with other things - suddenly wanting to be spoon fed all of the time, wanting nappies instead of nappy pants, huge separation anxiety and saying he wanted to be a baby and not a big boy.
Recently he is less upset and has shown more curiosity - he comes to the toilet with us at home and understands all about it, a couple of times he has asked to use the potty but then thrown some kind of decoy and backed out at the last moment (before trousers are off).
I fear that if I sit him on the potty or try to encourage him further he will become upset and this will set us back.
I feel that we know our son well and it isn't a big deal if he isn't using the potty / toilet yet. He generally only likes to try something new once he is completely confident and then he totally smashes it.
However, mounting pressure / questioning from all over the shop has me doubting myself - should I do more?
YANBU - keep at it and let him take his time
YABU - try harder / deploy tactics
If you vote YABU please consider offering some tips / experiences to help!

@MintyGreenDream

We got ds a child's urinal at 3 in the shape if a frog,it suctioned onto the wall.He lover standing up like daddy and he was potty trained in no time.

Definitely this. Its brilliant. DS still uses it downstairs and he's 5. I should really take it down.

And a toilet seat with steps and handles . I think ours was about £18 from amazon. Made a world of difference.

@LonglegsMumtheBlacksmith

So....my original post was asking for advice on how to potty train a child who has just turned three. Looking at around half of the responses I should have just started a thread "I have been stupid enough to leave potty training until my child turns three; please discuss"

I respect the point of view that three is too late, but it doesn't really help me with my problem. Aside from whether the comments are intended to be judgemental, they just aren't really relevant.

And it's not too late. Please don't take the shitty judgemental posts seriously.

I started trying to potty train my DS at 2, he got distressed, I got frustrated, piss everywhere, abandoned. Tried again at 2 and a half, dirty protest, same end product. 3rd attempt at about 6 weeks post 3rd birthday and he got it, as in understood the assignment, in a couple of days. Was dry overnight from the first day, but days took longer. They do have to actually understand what is being required of them and have the bladder control to manage it. Some children get it quicker than others. No biggie.

My DS is 5 and had a wee accident this morning because he wasn't paying attention. Change trousers and move on. A lot of his mates are the same. They're unlikely to be pissing themselves at 15, we'll, hopefully not anyway.

The person who taught him to poo on the toilet without the toilet steps was his little mate about a year ago! They were playing at our house, she needed a poo, they went together, she explained she didn't need the steps, penny dropped for him, he's never used them since!

[quote LonglegsMumtheBlacksmith]@pengu
WOW.
I started this thread to garner opinion on how to move on potty training my 3YO, whether it is the right time to go so and how to handle it. I don't expect him to Lear how to do it without me. I don't expect it to be stress free. However, I don't see a problem in wanting as little stress as possible for him and me. If as little stress as possible is still really quite stressful, then do be it. I would hate for the whole household to be unnecessarily stressed out because I didn't bother to ask for advice 🤷‍♀️[/quote]
My lad was that age and he had it down in 2.5 days. It wasn't stressful at all.
I started off with the 3 day potty training method (online booklet) and kept a 3 day weekend fully free to stay in to focus soley on him and watching for signs that he needed to go. Don't plan on doing anything else in the house other than hanging out with your kid.
I hit the poundshop for lots of activities, stickers, bribes and all of that to keep it fun. Accidents will be par for the course so expect them and shrug them off.
I went all or nothing - underpants only day and night. However if your child bed wets, it may not be down to them being inattentive, or your training, some kids just have a low level of the hormone that tells the bladder to go to sleep as well.

I kept the potty in the downstairs loo as I wanted him to get used to feeling he needed the loo but also giving himself time to go to the potty.

After potty training you do need to keep an eye for regular bowel movements and ensure that they go every day, it's one of the things to watch out for as it's very common for kids to hold it in, or to get afraid of using the loo for number twos, and then constipation can ensue. This might need to be checked until they can reliably tell you that they didn't go or are feeling constipated. Keeping lots of fruit and veg in their diet will help with this along with plenty of fluids - but aim to give them plenty to drink during the day but taper it off towards bedtime.

Blowing bubbles when doing a bowel movement is a good trick to have up your sleeve for the difficult ones - it prevents them from withholding a poo unconciously.

With all your research, it may be an absolute doddle for you in the end!