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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask what the hell to do about my leaking arse!

498 replies

alittlebitembarrassing · 03/01/2022 22:25

Exactly as the title says. Very crass but it is a literal pain in my arse and I’m starting to feel very unwell.

Backstory: I have inflammatory bowel disease and have had my large intestine removed. I had a stoma for 10 months and then a reversal surgery joining my small intestine to my rectum. I have mild proctitis left in my rectum.

A week ago, my anus started itching and leaking fluid. It has been getting worse and worse to the point I am leaking through my underwear to my clothes, I am uncomfortably wet all of the time and it is so painful to go to the toilet that I almost vomit from the pain and am just living by having cold baths.

The leaking is mucous, I’ve developed wounds on my bum cheeks from the dampness, and it is mixed with blood and green pus.

I developed abdominal pain with it two days ago so went to A&E who were useless, have referred me to gastro (no idea how long that will take), and told me my infection markers are raised so gave me antibiotics. Nothing else.

Today I have been on off sleeping and am feeling feverish and unwell in myself. When I was at A&E my heart rate was 120 and my blood pressure was high, but they said they weren’t concerned.

I am leaking massively to the point it’s not even just damp it is like water is pouring out of me.

I don’t want to waste another 8 hours in A&E to be sent home, but I’m feeling unwell in myself now, I can’t go to the toilet properly because it absolutely kills.

What do I do?!

OP posts:
maryd84 · 05/01/2022 11:27

"BlueBlazerBlack123

There really are some right cold hearted, stupid bastards on here aren't there?! OP you absolutely did the right thing calling an ambulance and fuck anyone who says otherwise. This whole things sounds horrendous and I really hope you get the medical attention you need. I also hope any poster after me just leaves their good wishes instead of turning your thread into a political crusade xx"

Well said👍

Migrainesbythedozen · 05/01/2022 11:44

@MobyDicksTinyCanoe

Macro if you think people read hundreds of posts before commenting you're deluded. Hmm

Most read the first few at the top and maybe a few above the comment box..... Your opinions really arent important enough to be set in stone for the masses.

@MobyDicksTinyCanoe You don't need to read the whole thread, just the OP's posts which you can do by clicking on See all which is underneath the OP's first post. It shows you ONLY the OP's posts, and no other posts.
Ahwelltoobad · 05/01/2022 12:45

I hope you are better now, OP! Bear

marcopront · 05/01/2022 13:49

@MobyDicksTinyCanoe

Macro if you think people read hundreds of posts before commenting you're deluded. Hmm

Most read the first few at the top and maybe a few above the comment box..... Your opinions really arent important enough to be set in stone for the masses.

I know people don't read hundreds of posts, it doesn't mean they shouldn't. I am not sure why you have directed the second part of your post at me as that is really the point I was making, the person I quoted was so sure of the importance of her own point that there was no need to check what others had said.
5YearsLeft · 05/01/2022 15:00

@alittlebitembarrassing

I don’t have the J Pouch I have the ileorectal anastomosis which is where my small intestine is joined to my rectum to allow me to go to the toilet ‘normally’. Worst decision I ever made I wish I still had a stoma
I’m so glad you’re being seen, OP, and only waiting five minutes was definitely the right reaction from A&E this time. I do hope it’s not sepsis, but even if it’s not, from the sound of it, you do have a serious infection that may need IV antibiotics (I’ve had infected sores from one of my autoimmune diseases and I totally get it; once you combine anything “green” with that feverish, unwell feeling in yourself, it means you need serious help ASAP).

But please, don’t feel like this statement. YOU didn’t make this “decision” in a vacuum; I imagine you were guided by doctors and consultants, etc. Or maybe they even told you that this was what you should do, and it felt like your job was just to say, “OK.” Like you either didn’t really have a choice, or if you did, like keeping the stoma would be a “failure” to get better.

Once you’re feeling better from this and out of hospital, hopefully hospital will have given you a follow-up with a consultant so that you’ll be back under one. And then, I know this can be difficult, but it’s time to advocate for yourself. Take partner or a friend with you, if you need help on the day. Tell the doctor how awful it’s been, in very clear, gory detail, and how much better it was with the stoma and how it’s making your life awful and making you regret the surgery. You need HELP. You shouldn’t be left to vomit in pain. No one should. And I say that as someone who has vomited in pain, so I’ve been where you are, until I spoke up and demanded help. It wasn’t the easiest road, but I got there.

I wish so much healing, and help, for you. And I do hope they can find some permanent solution to make you not regret the surgery so much (since I assume going back to a stoma isn’t an option). Good luck, OP.

IncessantNameChanger · 05/01/2022 15:02

At the end of the day there is a line over which something warrants a ambulance. OP asked and emergency services made the call as it was over the line.

There shouldn't be a debate beyound that desision by a emergency call handler.

Also we must not race to the bottom and start saying a heart attack or stroke trumps a car crash etc or fall unable to get up. Let the call handlers do that.

At the end of the day I have access to a car so yes I could get a mobilised stroke or heart attack victim to A&E in 15 minutes. All well and good for me but what about the person who lives a 45 drive to A&E going to do? Those less well off are more likely to die in a race to the bottom. Is that fair?

It's not good enough for anyone in its current state. The more we excuse it the worse it can slip

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 05/01/2022 15:11

God you poor thing, a lecture about ambulance use - you do not need!

I hope you get the care that they should have given you in the beginning.

sillysmiles · 05/01/2022 16:38

At the end of the day I have access to a car so yes I could get a mobilised stroke or heart attack victim to A&E in 15 minutes. All well and good for me but what about the person who lives a 45 drive to A&E going to do? Those less well off are more likely to die in a race to the bottom. Is that fair?

Additionally, if you have a longer drive in a car with someone - you have no support if they suddenly become very unwell, requiring oxygen or drugs or resus .

Floralnomad · 05/01/2022 17:09

Re the ambulance debate , many of us didn’t disagree with the OP calling an ambulance , the point we were making , way back at the start of the thread , was that it would be quicker to find her own way to the hospital and she needed attention immediately , not in 4/6/8 hours or whenever the ambulance arrived .

NYnewstart · 05/01/2022 17:38

I hope the op is ok. It’s been quite a while

SirVixofVixHall · 05/01/2022 17:50

@NYnewstart

I hope the op is ok. It’s been quite a while
I am really worrying about the Op, I hope that she is being treated in hospital and is on her way to recovery.
INeedNewShoes · 05/01/2022 18:29

Hopefully she's fine and just didn't want to come back to the thread. It did get derailed by quite a lot of twattiness.

Itsokay2020 · 05/01/2022 21:27

I hope the OP is okay too, I keep checking the thread and remain hopeful for an update. The whole situation sounded horrific Sad

carlygirly · 05/01/2022 22:09

This sounds dreadful. Op, I hope you're ok and being looked after now. Thanks

Nat6999 · 05/01/2022 23:14

My ex husband has been on the floor for four hours tonight after falling off the toilet, ambulance refused to come out, ds ended up getting a taxi & getting a neighbour to help him get him up & back in bed. This is a man who has secondary progressive MS, has had several heart attacks & was kicked out of hospital on New Year's Day because they needed his bed. Ds is 17, Autistic & disabled himself. The NHS is going to the dogs because of the Tory scum.

HomeEdRocks18 · 06/01/2022 00:50

Sounds like sepsis. Call an ambulance and get treated.
Get well soon x

Ophanim · 06/01/2022 02:28

@HomeEdRocks18

Sounds like sepsis. Call an ambulance and get treated. Get well soon x
OP first posted three days ago. She might have made a decision on what to do by now…
peridito · 06/01/2022 08:22

OP was admitted early hours on Tuesday . Poor woman .Everything crossed for her .

MintyChops · 06/01/2022 09:39

Absolutely horrendous for you OP. I have Crohns too, also lost my colon, had a stoma for a year and had a reversal. It’s a brutal, terrifying experience and you just feel like your own body has really let you down. What you have been going through is so bloody extra-awful. I sincerely hope you do are beginning to feel better and I would like to echo the advice of others here that you need to be under the care of a consultant/ Crohns specialist team. Flowers

SpookyScarySkeletons · 06/01/2022 09:47

Really hope you are doing well and recovering OP (and are too busy enjoying hospital food to check Mumsnet!)

pastypirate · 06/01/2022 18:25

Absolutely not the ops priority right now to update mn but really hope she's ok x

hedgehogger1 · 06/01/2022 19:10

Hoping that no news is good news

HereticFanjo · 06/01/2022 19:14

The NHS is broken beyond repair. OP I hope you are okay.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 06/01/2022 20:24

I hope you're ok OP. You shouldn't have to fight so hard to be looked at.

dingdongmerrilyy · 07/01/2022 00:05

How are u op