Aibu to complain to brownies leader

[Mummytoonlychild]

My daughter is back to brownies next week and I've just been informed that she is not allowed to have a drink or go the toilet when she is there. It's a 90 mins session aibu to say she's a child and should be able to drink her own drink or go the loo when she needs to or am I being ott

@JuergenSchwarzwald

Why are people saying you need to clean the loos between each use? How do service areas, shops, pubs etc manage? They're not cleaning the loos every time. I doubt they are in schools, either. Who makes up these ludicrous rules?

However, I completely understand that if you are meeting outside you can't use loos and at that age 90 minutes should be manageable.

@JuergenSchwarzwald I know the leisure centre next to where DDs rainbows meet clean at set times for a set number of people, so if the rainbows/brownies/guides/whatever are using them too they have to clean them more often so they've said no to using the toilets while the rules are in place.

What a load of bloody drama

I take it You have no experience of running any kind of kids group or activity?

What is a load of bloody drama is winging parents complaining their little cherubs can't have a drink or a wee for NINETY MINUTES.

Its 90 minutes!

@Mummytoonlychild

I gather I'm being unreasonable unfortunately I don't do drop offs or pick ups as I'm in work but I were able to I would love to volunteer and help out.

Of course you would. 🤣🤣🤣

@JuergenSchwarzwald

Why are people saying you need to clean the loos between each use? How do service areas, shops, pubs etc manage? They're not cleaning the loos every time. I doubt they are in schools, either. Who makes up these ludicrous rules?

However, I completely understand that if you are meeting outside you can't use loos and at that age 90 minutes should be manageable.

My thoughts exactly.
I know at the start of covid, toilets were largely closed but as the pandemic has gone on it gas become clearer that the virus is air borne. I have used toilets in many public and private buildings over the last 12 months without any restrictions. I think the guidance/policy under which this decision has been made is out of date.

Before anyone jumps in with ‘you wouldn’t understand what leaders put up with’… I’m a cub leader, I sometimes support beavers and I’ve taught in schools for 15 years. I’m not blind to difficulties or volunteering.

BUT

During Covid I think it’s sensible to decide if the activities are still fun, or if the rules take it over the line for your child and they don’t enjoy it anymore. One of mine has recently dropped out of scouts, he can’t deal with the mask rules. It was leading to extreme anxiety and even before than running games etc in a mask wasn’t fun. Another of mine left dance due to wee/ toilet rules, dancing in a square etc making it stressful and sucking the enjoyment.

They were going because what it used to be and hoping it would come back, or out of a sort of duty/ habit to go. Realistically they’ll have left before it’s fun. Some activities have worked, some leaders have adapted better than others but some things needed to go.

We asked all girls to make sure they use the loo at home but certainly didn't restrict access if needed. We didn't have drinks either but they could get a cup of water if they were thirsty.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

What a load of bloody drama

I take it You have no experience of running any kind of kids group or activity?

What is a load of bloody drama is winging parents complaining their little cherubs can't have a drink or a wee for NINETY MINUTES.

Its 90 minutes!

Yes I've done the odd playgroup and volunteered in schools. All it takes is designated drink break, and one person in the loo at any time. They can be told to wait. But it's not right to refuse the toilet.

People claiming it takes an hour to squirt some antibac around and wipe clean are ridiculous. It's a basic right to go for a wee or a poo. If you got caught short at the start of a 90 minute session how would you feel if someone told you that you couldn't go?

Absolutely. Please do complain about the unpaid volunteer giving up her time for your child. How very dare she ask for any adherence to any rules, she should obviously do exactly as you wish.

Myself and my children can go without drinking or peeing for 90 minutes until you tell me I can't then we have an issue

She's a pain in the bum for needing a wee when she can't have one

Right, and your first instinct was to complain, rather than deal with your child saying she needs a wee when she doesn’t really?

@Georgeskitchen

I went to girls brigade , late 60s pretty sure we paid our subs which included a small cup of squash and a biscuit. Maybe half way through proceedings. Toilets just outside the door to the hall Can't recoĺlect needing the toilet while there but pretty sure we were trusted enough to go there and back without any dramas

That's lovely, but 50 years on, life is very different. There are FAR more rules in place re supervision and not letting children wander off by themselves and needing 2 adults for safeguarding.

Plus children never having to wait for anything. In the '70's waiting an hour for a drink wouldn't have caused an out cry about the childrens human rights, nor would having to wait to go to the toilet.

YANBU at all. Unless it’s something covid related, but not sure what that would even be.
I’m a brownie leader and we let girls use the toilet when they need to one at a time. We also have a jug and cups close by so girls can help themselves to a drink when they need one. It doesn’t disrupt the session at all.

It's a basic right to go for a wee or a poo

But its not a basic right to attend brownies!

@Theunamedcat

Myself and my children can go without drinking or peeing for 90 minutes until you tell me I can't then we have an issue

Why? I mean really, why would that be?

@Theunamedcat

Myself and my children can go without drinking or peeing for 90 minutes until you tell me I can't then we have an issue

For me it's making an issue out of something minor that makes it worse.

Most people probably wouldn't need or want to in 90 minutes. But as soon as someone with a clipboard and a rule sheet starts bandying about rules and regulations it puts it in the forefront of your mind that you might feel thirsty or get caught short and be uncomfortable.

It's far more proactive to have a system in place for kids where they have their own labelled bottles, only have a drink when the leader says it's time for a quick drink, and only one child in the toilet at a time.

Blimey- drink and toilet should be fine. V weird of them

Also I agree with people saying there is unnecessary drama. I’ve volunteered and taught to some extent for the last 20 years. Most parents are decent and most kids listen and can use a toilet without supervision by age 7, some exceptions but not enough to require much management

No idea why anyone volunteers to do this.

There will be practical reasons. These are volunteers, they want the kids to have a nice time. So there will be either no toilets. Or there will not be enough volunteers to supervise the kids accessing toilets a bit away.

And it is because of things like this I will never volunteer with kids ever again. I did it for years. In the past, you would get the odd difficult parent, but most would check why you had a certain rule. Now so many go in all guns blazing talking about their kid's human rights. Too many parents don't understand that volunteers do it because they want the kids to have a nice time. If there is a rule it is for a good reason.

I suspect this Brownies may end up just packing up.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

It's a basic right to go for a wee or a poo

But its not a basic right to attend brownies!

No it isn't. But surely a leader would want attendees to enjoy it and be comfortable and not feel like they can't go for a wee in peace if the need arose.

@riiichteabiiscuit trust me, you still get some parents complaining if their kids can only drink at a certain time.

@JuergenSchwarzwald

Why are people saying you need to clean the loos between each use? How do service areas, shops, pubs etc manage? They're not cleaning the loos every time. I doubt they are in schools, either. Who makes up these ludicrous rules?

However, I completely understand that if you are meeting outside you can't use loos and at that age 90 minutes should be manageable.

In the case of churches, the diocesan health and safety inspectorate make the rules. But in any case it's different for shops, pubs, schools etc. because they have people whose job it is to clean the loos regularly, whether normal staff or specfically employed cleaners, usually at least once an hour in the case of shops and pubs. Churches don't have this, except perhaps once a week or once a fortnight.

This thread is just bringing back memories of the stress of dealing with so many awful parents. Bloody hell, I do wonder why anyone does it nowadays. It really did not used to be like this.

[quote RoyalFamilyFan]@riiichteabiiscuit trust me, you still get some parents complaining if their kids can only drink at a certain time.[/quote]
Well that's dick head parents for you.

IMO the answer is never to refuse a kid to go to the loo. It's just making an issue out of nothing telling people they can't have a drink.

@Mummytoonlychild

I gather I'm being unreasonable unfortunately I don't do drop offs or pick ups as I'm in work but I were able to I would love to volunteer and help out.

Of course you can't -exactly the type of parent willing to complain but far too busy to volunteer.

I'm out of the house at 7.30 am and rarely home before 5.30pm usually home @ 6pm but I still volunteer - cubs is 6.30pm -7.30pm and do the sleep overs and lifts and making tea/ coffee etc -and I'm a single parent.