Partner will not marry and I want to change my name

[DayToNight]

I was given my Dad's name at birth however he and my DM split up shortly after I was born as he was abusive. My DM remarried when I was 7 and changed my surname to match theirs. Stepdad was abusive to me and my mum found out when I was 16 and they divorced. My mum remarried and now has a different surname. I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have a DS together. He has never been interested in getting married and out DS has his surname. AIBU to change my name? I'm inclined to change it to a name of my choice rather than DPs name

@Notmrsfitz I think lots of us have done that Sorry @DayToNight. I think though there is a lot of useful advice here, because as @ClaudiaJ1 says, there is a massive difference between changing your name and the legality of marriage/civil partnership

@Neurodiversitydoctor

Why? Genuine question.... I don’t have the same surname as any of my 3 children.....can’t think of any situation why I would ‘like’ to have the same name as them.

Umm off the top of my head

1. School easier if all family members have the same name
2. Health appointments ditto
3. Foreign travel I have been questioned at customs as the name on my passport wasn't the same as the DCs.

But as long as you don't use education or healthcare and don't want to take your DCs on holiday, no problem.

I’ve never had a problem in any of those situations with DC.

I decided not to change my surname when I got married. When we had DC, I decided they could’ve DH’s name. Surely, institutions need to join us in the 21st century with this sort of thing ( those that haven’t yet) ?

OP, if you don’t have an issues with your DM’s surname, that would be a good way to go.

I agree with adding in your chosen name to your DC’s name too

@Doggymama123 Found it:
*my mum had a friend who lived with a chap for over 30 years, unmarried, he never bothered getting around to divorcing his ex and neither did the ex, when he died intestate (don't even get me started on the stupidity of a man in his 70's and a homeowner not having a will!) the house (which mums friend had contributed to in terms of maintenance and repairs and decor etc over the years by simply giving him the money to do so) went to his ex in its entirety and mums friend was unceremoniously turfed out of her home

She had been wrongly under the impression there was such a thing as common law marriage she even had in her head that living together 10+ years was the cut off point (no idea where she got this idea!)

She also lost savings that were in an account in his name it was a mess! In total she effectively lost £750,000 worth of assets!

The myth of common law marriage and associated benefits and rights must be debunked and refuted.*

@Kitkat151

How come your kids dad doesn't have PR if he's their dad and on the scene? Surely he's on the birth certificate as well as them having his last name?

So much rubbish posted here!

Op, you can do it tomorrow it easily by deed poll. It can be more or less anything you want it to be.
I did it! It was liberating!

I changed my name for similar reasons when I was 29, before I met DH.

My surname is my mother’s middle name. I also changed my middle name, as my original middle name was very much a family name from my father’s family (it had an unusual spelling). My middle name is now the name of my maternal great uncle, who was actually the man most involved in my life growing up. I wanted my name to reflect the people who had actually been there for me growing up.

One of the best and most liberating things I ever did.