My partner of 2 years works and lives in UK, but his kids from 2 previous relationships live in European capital with his 2 exes, in his homes with 2 kids each - all of primary school ages from 3-10.
The short of the story is that he visits them few weekends a month (1 per family) , birthdays and key holidays staying in their respective homes for duration of his stay. He owns those properties and comes and goes with his own keys as he pleases and does not allow his exes to bring boyfriends into his homes. His explanation that economically this set up makes sense as those women are unable to secure rent in their financial situation and since they were not married legal avenue is more problematic for all parties.
I guess at first, I couldn’t really say much, but as we get more serious I want to make it clear that I am not ok with him playing families with one ex and 2 kids during Xmas and then another for New Year, while I am back in UK feeling strange not knowing how to explain to family and friends the whereabouts of my partner during entire holidays.
I am pretty sure long-term I cannot tolerate this, but I don’t want to make a big fuss, as a mother I understand kids must come first. His previous girlfriend left him due to complexity of this situation and I am quite close, but I never had to deal with parenting set up in this way and dont want to be unreasonable.
Has anyone experienced something similar and is this at all acceptable?