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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandson has too much screen time, is it my place to say?

352 replies

Halloweencat · 02/01/2022 17:03

I think my 5 year old grandson has too much screen time on a children's ipad. From what I've read it can be damaging to their eyes. His development is normal & he's doing very well at school. AIBU to say something, or tell him to put it down?

OP posts:
ThatNameAgainItsMrPlow · 02/01/2022 18:11

And before I get flamed too much I'm almost 60 & from an era when kids played with their toys instead of staring at a screen all day!

Why is that an excuse for interfering and not minding your own business?

SueSaid · 02/01/2022 18:13

God, its just so bad mannered isn't it. If grandparents are round you tell your kids to put their gadgets away.

Totallydefeated · 02/01/2022 18:13

His eyes would be just as affected if he was spending hours reading every day.

SlashBeef · 02/01/2022 18:14

Literally not your business. If you can't control yourself you should go home.

saraclara · 02/01/2022 18:14

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

So he has spent 2 hours on the ipad? Someone alert the church elders!
He's 5. Do you really think that two solid hours on an iPad is acceptable or sensible at that age?
FourTeaFallOut · 02/01/2022 18:16

He's 5. Do you really think that two solid hours on an iPad is acceptable or sensible at that age?

You are assuming it's every day. Not just the day his gps come around and his dm is hiding in the kitchen.

Camembear · 02/01/2022 18:16

I had video games from a young age and I did quite well for myself. Also I don’t have problems with my vision nor am I violent. I still read and go outside. So you may be unduly worried about the effects.

If you’re going to say something about screen time to your daughter I’d probably frame it as you wanting to spend more time interacting with him eg playing a game or going out.

Faevern · 02/01/2022 18:16

Do the posters saying MYOB or it’s Christmas really think that 2 hours continuous on an iPad at 5 year old is OK? Never mind that they’ve probably been on it a lot more today?

TomBradysLeftKneecap · 02/01/2022 18:19

Honestly, are some of you so precious that you wouldn't listen to advice from your own parents without throwing a fit?! My Mil is the Queen of giving unsolicited advice. I just listen, smile and either ignore it or take it on board because she loves us and it's coming from a place of good.

DickMabutt73962 · 02/01/2022 18:20

No, HTH

saraclara · 02/01/2022 18:20

@FourTeaFallOut

He's 5. Do you really think that two solid hours on an iPad is acceptable or sensible at that age?

You are assuming it's every day. Not just the day his gps come around and his dm is hiding in the kitchen.

Where did I assume that? Stop putting words in my mouth.

A five year old spending two hours straight on an iPad at any point is not good.

It's clear that the OP can't say anything, based on the responses on this thread. (Love the way that people have also wrongly assumed she must be the mother's MIL!). But she's not wrong.

SueSaid · 02/01/2022 18:21

@Faevern

Do the posters saying MYOB or it’s Christmas really think that 2 hours continuous on an iPad at 5 year old is OK? Never mind that they’ve probably been on it a lot more today?
Exactly! How lovely for grandparents to have a kid who can't tear their eyes away from a screen for company.

I've nothing against limited screen time at that age but constant use is just ridiculous. They should be playing fgs.

morechocolateneededtoday · 02/01/2022 18:22

At first glance, I completely agree with you and it is far too much. I have a child same age who does not get more than 20 minutes at once ever with a device. She does get to watch TV for longer but that would stop long before 2 hours unless it was a movie

However, I would also consider - if he is allowed this much daily or is it just because it is holidays? Is he winding down after a particularly busy period?

Parents do often have completely different rules and expectations in holiday compared to term time. If he hasnt been allowed it for a while and now has a short period of unrestricted access, it is no surprise he is likely taking full advantage

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 02/01/2022 18:23

@mintbiscuit

Christ! No. Just no.

(And clearly you should heed your own advice as you are on mumsnet at their home!)

An excellent point 😉
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/01/2022 18:23

Are you offering to come round and play with your grandson in place of the i pad for a couple of hours, so that your son or daughter gets a break?

In your day kids were probably able to play out for long periods - kids these days sadly don’t have that.

Pagwatch · 02/01/2022 18:25

it depends what you are trying to achieve.

if you want your grandson to use the ipad less then saying so out loud will be shockingly ineffective. it will irritate his parents and that will have zero effect on his behaviour.

if you want to vent and irriate then by all means say it.

if you really want him to have less screen time i would try and see if i can distract him away whenever you get the chance by engaging with him and/or arriving with fun activities whenever you visit.

FourTeaFallOut · 02/01/2022 18:25

Well then, if we are talking about a one off, then no, I can't get excited about a five year old spending a lot of time on their tablet for a couple of hours.

Mulhollandmagoo · 02/01/2022 18:26

It's a tough one this, because whilst two hours seems like a lot, you maybe haven't seen the bigger picture. Over Christmas and new year we've done so much stuff, light trails, baking, painting, visiting friends and family, going to the park, we've been out most days doing something even if just a big dog walk and we are exhausted, so today while my husband was at work me and my 2yo snuggled up on the sofa and watched a couple of movies. If you grandson has been busy for most of the holidays then one day on his iPad isn't the end of the world.

If you're visiting often, so multiple times a week and it's the same everytime then it maybe worth tactfully mentioning it to whichever of his parents is your child - for some reason I assume your son is his parent here, so if that's correct raise it with him and not your DIL.

Alternatively ask him to come and sit with you and show you what he is playing on the iPad so he's still interacting with you.

BurntO · 02/01/2022 18:27

Not your place to say so, no.

tootiredtospeak · 02/01/2022 18:28

The thing is my kids have probably had a bit too much screen time this Xmas when relatives have visited because at that time I needed to feed and entertain them. When it's just me and the kids its different and easier to limit as it might be a little bit in the morning and then we will be off out and when they are back at school it's much less. My 5yr old wont even bother that much after a full day at school she just wants to watch a bit of tv bath and bed. It really could me more a product of the situation than a regular thing.

Cantfindausernamethatsnottaken · 02/01/2022 18:30

I did notice at primary that most of the children in my sons class wear glasses.When I was at school wearing specs wasnt common
There is a glare emitted from screens and glasses can be bought to protect their eyes from this.They are also meant to take regular breaks to avoid eye strain as if they are gaming they are staring intently at it.

AlternativePerspective · 02/01/2022 18:31

No. A 5 year old should not be spending 2 hours on an iPad.

So many teenagers already barely communicate because they spend all their time on screens, shall we extend that to reception age children?

How is it that children have lost the ability to play, and parents have seemingly lost the ability to parent. It’s lazy parenting to just give a child an iPad.

FWIW I don’t think 5 year olds should have iPads anyway, but suddenly we can’t deprive the poor little darlings, the way things currently are the only thing they’re not allowed to have until their older is a car. But hey give it time….

As for people drawing the comparison between a 5 year old on an iPad and the OP on MN, the OP is an adult.

I wouldn’t think it hypocritical to have a glass of wine while denying one to a 5 year old.

bonetiredwithtwins · 02/01/2022 18:32

My 5 year olds year 1 primary school is currently trialling iPads for every pupil in class as learning aids - pretty sure they are concerned about screen time

Definitely mind your own business

bonetiredwithtwins · 02/01/2022 18:33

*arent

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