To expect a 5 and 8 year old to be able to pack their own overnight bag?

[CrumpledCrumpet]

I’ve asked 8 and 5yo DS’s to pack PJs and a change of clothes in a bag about half an hour ago. Despite increasingly stroppy reminders from me to stay on task, no progress is being made. AIBU to expect children of their age to be able to do this? I’m exasperated!

We teach kids this age to do this at beavers.

The 5 year old will need advice and guidance. The 8 year old should be able to manage but I'd check the bag when finished.

Never to early to teach life skills.

How can you not know that this is ridiculous and unreasonable.

For ONCE my 5yo can do something that no one else would expect of them!! Even my 3yo can pack an overnight bag with pjs, pants, socks, Teddy and toothbrush. But then again they only ever pack a bag for something fun, so they love doing it.

5yo can't wipe his own arse though #winsomelosesome

For context yesterday my 8 year old went and caught her share point from the field alone, brought it down and tied it with a quick release knot. Removed rugs brushed it and remembered to pick out all 4 feet. Put on bridle and saddle, fitted cross nose and correctly, remembered to check reins weren't under before doing up breastplate straps, remembered to check the flap under the girth buckles wasn't caught in saddle pad. Afterwards she was able to put on rugs checking all buckles , fill hay net put down bed, hose legs. The only thing I had to do was get saddle down and put up on rack as it's too high and check the girth tightness before she got on.To imagine she couldn't manage to put 2 basic outfits in a bag when directed is absurd.

I did with mine. We used to lay the stuff out ( on the landing ??? - tho not sure why the landing) and I'd check it before helping them to put it in the bag. This developed into the same system for holiday packing.

As 20 somethings, I noticed they still do this...😂

8 year old might manage. My nine year old could. My nearly 12 year old kind of can but always picks stupid clothes for planned activities. My 7 year old NO WAY. So a five year old for me is impossible.

My ten year old can't do this so yabu

I used to do the packing with them at that age. I would sit in the middle of the floor with a bag."Bring me one pair of pyjamas." "Now bring me 3 pairs of pants." "Now ... 3 pairs of socks." and so on. Seemed to work.

When they were a bit older, I got them to take over the actual packing bit, I would just tell them how many of everything I thought they needed. (I remember being quite strong on trousers and tops all needing to go with each other.) But I would still supervise.

See if you can make it happen without a falling out. I know it's hard sometimes .

@liveforsummer

For context yesterday my 8 year old went and caught her share point from the field alone, brought it down and tied it with a quick release knot. Removed rugs brushed it and remembered to pick out all 4 feet. Put on bridle and saddle, fitted cross nose and correctly, remembered to check reins weren't under before doing up breastplate straps, remembered to check the flap under the girth buckles wasn't caught in saddle pad. Afterwards she was able to put on rugs checking all buckles , fill hay net put down bed, hose legs. The only thing I had to do was get saddle down and put up on rack as it's too high and check the girth tightness before she got on.To imagine she couldn't manage to put 2 basic outfits in a bag when directed is absurd.

She's doing well to do all that with a share point lol

How can you not know that this is ridiculous and unreasonable.

Despite several people confirming their kids could do it at those ages?

At five you are asking too much.

I’d maybe expect the 8 year old to be ABLE to do it but I don’t see why you wouldn’t help her. Can’t believe you expect a 5 year old to just get on with it alone.

@Sarahplane

My ten year old can't do this so yabu

Outside of ASN a 10 year old absolutely should be able to put a handful of specified items in a provided bag. I expect they very much could though and that you've just never tried

But why bother? He won't learn anything from this. All for a job you could have done in 5 minutes..

Of course they learn, they will remember next time that for overnight bag, they need PJs and what an outfit for next day includes. It would also be faster if I would tie my DC's shoelaces until they are 20, but I still think it makes sense to take the time to teach them and wait there until they manage.
Or how else would it work? They don't wake up one morning magically knowing how packing works.

5 year old loves packing his own bag but it’s mostly just toys and maybe 5 tops for 2 days and not any pants.
Personally I wouldn’t stress about it. It’s the kind of job that takes a few minutes only if the parent helps.

Many years ago when I was in hospital to have DD3 (who is now 19), DH was looking after DD1 and DD2, who were 7 and 3 at the time.

He had to take them to his mother's (60 miles away) for an overnight stay as DD3 needed delivery by emcs.

He sent them to pack for themselves, but he didn't check that they had done it properly. They went in a witch's costume and a fairy princess costume. They packed no other clothes, no pyjamas and no toothbrushes. Just some teddies and DD2's large Scooby Doo!

MIL had to take them clothes shopping that afternoon after DH had left to drive over to the hospital to be with me for DD3's birth.

We laugh about it now, though I think MIL was a bit perplexed with him at the time. 🤣

Only if you have taught them how to do it and helped them write a list.

I would expect a 5 and 8 year old to be able to pack an overnight bag. And they used to. The dds were going on rainbow sleepovers at 5 and would have been given a list of things they needed to take. They would have packed their bag and then we would have gone through it together to make sure they had everything they needed (and not just filled the bag with teddies).

By 8, I would have expected my Brownies ( I’m a leader) to have packed (or at least had input into packing) their bag for a sleepover, partly so they recognised the things they had brought with them and also so they knew the process to repack to go home again as they would be expected to sort their belongings out at the end of the event.

@RockinHorseShit

Seriously

Do you actually bother to parent your DCs in other ways, or do you expect them to drag themselves up.🥺

Stop being so bloody lazy & help your DC, especially the 5 yo

No lazy is the parent that always does everything and never teaches. I'm sure it's crossed the OP's mind to be lazy and do it herself because it's easier for her.

A pjs and a change of clothes is vague to ANYONE.

A change of clothes for what? Going out to the park? Staying home? Going to church? Going out for the day?

A child would find that an insurmountable task. Sit on their beds and say ‘Mummy will help you learn how we pack, let’s do it together - we’re going to Nana’s and to the park so we’ll need a full outfit - so we’ll need underwear and socks and then something warm to wear….’

YABU

@Arethechildreninbedyet

A pjs and a change of clothes is vague to ANYONE.

A change of clothes for what? Going out to the park? Staying home? Going to church? Going out for the day?

A child would find that an insurmountable task. Sit on their beds and say ‘Mummy will help you learn how we pack, let’s do it together - we’re going to Nana’s and to the park so we’ll need a full outfit - so we’ll need underwear and socks and then something warm to wear….’

YABU

OP told them exactly what to pack

@GoodPrincessWenceslas

5yo when I prompted him on the individual items that needed to go in.

But why bother? He won't learn anything from this. All that's happened is that the whole thing has taken at least an hour longer than it needed to, you've got stressed out, and your 5 year old probably feels confused and unhappy. All for a job you could have done in 5 minutes.

Of course they will! 'Doing things' is literally how children learn

My two youngest daughters are 8 and 5 and they could easily pick out a change of clothes and a pair of pjs and put them in a bag. I would of course check and help if need be but not sure why so many on here feel a 5 year old is incapable of getting some clothes out of drawers and placing them in a bag 😒

lol op

No. Just no