SIL gone to panto when waiting for PCR result - oh yes she did!

[anotherannoyngSIL]

Name changed as I’ve been slated on here before for not allowing my SIL to do as she pleases.

Today I thought we’d made a positive turn as she has taken my older son and hers to the pantomime as I’ve got a broken leg (though she has made a big thing about helping out).

Unfortunately she’s just text me to say “BTW I’ve had a positive lateral and waiting on my PCR but decided to take the boys anyway as xxx (her son) was looking forward to it, I’m sure that’s fine”.

In which universe is that fine?? She’s risking not just my son, but the others she’s gone with and the whole audience!! She is very jealous if people do social things without her but surely there comes a time when sense is more important than FOMO?? I’m assuming she waited till she was there to tell me so I couldn’t do anything.

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for being annoyed as the rules aren’t clear cut and she hasn’t had the PCR test back.

AIBU for wanting to ban her as she’s so irresponsible and only really cares about herself?

The country cannot afford to be at this constant standstill

Tell me what you think will happen if millions of people all have covid over the next month or two?

I will happily be called selfish as Im not prepared to sacrifice my dcs education and mental health to let some older folk live another year. If you would like to argue with me on this then please go and look at the average age of died WITH covid.
Im not putting ANYONES gramny before my dcs. So yep fine with being selfish. Time to get on with it.

@girlmom21 absolutely not.

Something will kill us at some point, be that cancer, heart disease, dementia, pneumonia and I don't go around worrying about the odds of those.

Frankly, having watched my father die a hideously painful and drawn out death from cancer, and watching my mother die slowly of dementia, I wish to God that both of them had died from Covid. However, in spite of my mother having caught Covid and been absolutely fine, I shall continue watching her slowly starve, as she shuns food, stuck in a care home, incontinent and with no language and no clue what's happening around her or who I am, because God forbid any of them can die from
Covid .

The NHS is not fucked up by covid. Ffs. We have had covid for less than two years. We have a social care CRISIS. Again time to get on with it.

I honestly couldn't care less anymore what people do, so many people with positive LFT/PCR results and even those who've not tested but have symptoms are just doing what they want, why should anyone bother isolating, just get on with your lives, do what you want. I hope you're son, SIL and her child had a good time.

@BoredZelda

The country cannot afford to be at this constant standstill

Tell me what you think will happen if millions of people all have covid over the next month or two?

If we stopped testing, stopped isolating and stopped with the incessant media reporting then we could crack on, keep working and not have endless paranoia about society collapsing.

If someone is admitted to hospital with breathing difficulties then fine, test and treat for Covid as necessary. But why the hell we're mass testing hundreds of thousands of people who in essence have a cold, is beyond me.

And if the NHS can't cope? It's hardly something new. The system is broken and has been for decades. I'm not locking down for decades to come to protect a sub-par system that needs serious reform of only someone had the balls to do it.

I've just called someone out on FB for visiting friends just after she had got positive LFT and was waiting for PCR test.

And the friend she visited has a CEV child.

@DappledOliveGroves

Still don't understand, from a logic perspective, what the difference is between someone knowingly going to the theatre with a positive LFT and the fact that one third of those with Covid are asymptomatic and will be happily enjoying the theatre and spreading it unawares.

Fair enough if everyone had to do a negative LFT at the theatre as a condition of entry (albeit whether a LFT would pick up those whose viral load hasn't hit a certain threshold is questionable) but they don't. So statistically there are always going to be asymptomatic individuals in any theatre, spreading Covid. So what's the difference between going whilst awaiting a PCR result and going, with no symptoms, but spreading it anyway?

Wow, you are a special kind of thick. So no one should test then because other people might unknowingly have it? We should just let it spread and completely overwhelm all hospitals? WT actual F is wrong with people.

[quote DappledOliveGroves]@girlmom21 absolutely not.

Something will kill us at some point, be that cancer, heart disease, dementia, pneumonia and I don't go around worrying about the odds of those.

Frankly, having watched my father die a hideously painful and drawn out death from cancer, and watching my mother die slowly of dementia, I wish to God that both of them had died from Covid. However, in spite of my mother having caught Covid and been absolutely fine, I shall continue watching her slowly starve, as she shuns food, stuck in a care home, incontinent and with no language and no clue what's happening around her or who I am, because God forbid any of them can die from
Covid .[/quote]
Yes let’s give Covid to all vulnerable people hoping they’ll die a bit more quickly. Nothing ethically wrong with that at all. BTW, people do experience painful, slow deaths from Covid.

@DappledOliveGroves and that's horrendous and I'm sorry you're having to deal with that, and for everything your parents have been through and are going through.

But there are also millions of people with weakened immune systems who covid and similar illnesses would kill but who could live long lives otherwise.
Ok your moms dying in a horrendous way - and that's awful - but does that mean you shouldn't care about anyone else?

@MrsBerthaRochester

I will happily be called selfish as Im not prepared to sacrifice my dcs education and mental health to let some older folk live another year. If you would like to argue with me on this then please go and look at the average age of died WITH covid. Im not putting ANYONES gramny before my dcs. So yep fine with being selfish. Time to get on with it.

What about other peoples children? Is their life worth less than your child's schooling? Notice I say school, not education, because education is more than just going to school.

@MrsBerthaRochester

I will happily be called selfish as Im not prepared to sacrifice my dcs education and mental health to let some older folk live another year. If you would like to argue with me on this then please go and look at the average age of died WITH covid. Im not putting ANYONES gramny before my dcs. So yep fine with being selfish. Time to get on with it.

*I will happily be called selfish as Im not prepared to sacrifice my dcs education and mental health to let some other folk live another year. If you would like to argue with me on this then please go and look at the average age of died WITH covid. Im not putting ANYONE before my dcs. So yep fine with being selfish. Time to get on with it.*

There. Fixed it for you @MrsBerthaRochester. ^

It's not just old people and those who have lost family members of all ages and/or suffered long term illness from Covid have had their education, livelihood and mental health affected too. What a hideous attitude you have! I wonder if you'd be as brazen about it in RL?

some of the answers on here - Jesus wept!
If you go into a public place when you have tested positive whether its lateral flow etc it doesn't matter - you don't know nor does anybody else whether you will give it to someone who will become really ill - even though they had not previously known if they were vulnerable. Or give it to someone who is a delivery driver, face to face essential NHS worker, emergency worker (including power workers as well as police, ambulance & fire) or their families who might give it to them. Many people will take a test before they go to prevent giving covid to others because they have a social conscience -
The moral choice is a balance between personal rights & social responsibility & in this case - I think the balance leads one way -the other is pure selfishness

Im very open about my views on real life. Why wouldnt I be? My dad is terminally ill and has spent the last two years hiding at home rather than enjoying the time he has left with his family. I blame this entirely on the fear mongering media.

going, with no symptoms, but spreading it anyway?

Does she have symptoms? OP hasn't actually said she doesn't.

But logically the fewer people out with it the less it'll spread surely...

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for being annoyed as the rules aren’t clear cut and she hasn’t had the PCR test back

Your SIL is despicable but your husband is also a bit of a dick.

I can’t believe you just let her sit in a theatre full of people though through a whole show knowing she had a positiveLFT, and now a positive PCR.

@Youngatheart00

That’s grossly irresponsible of her - there could be vulnerable people in that theatre which she is directly putting at risk.

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment.

Many people think like the SIL and will go to these things anyway.

If people want to #StaySafe, then they need to take their own precautions.

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment

People who know they are positive LEGALLY shouldn’t be putting vulnerable people at risk.

@WhatAHexIGotInto

Mind you, I've always felt that the onus should be on those not wanting to catch it to stay home, rather than others having to curtail their freedom in case someone catches it.

Not quite as simple as 'not wanting to catch it'. @DappledOliveGroves. I recently finished treatment for cancer. I still had to go to chemo and my other treatments. Should I just have stayed at home so as not to inconvenience you or curtail your freedom? I kind of just wanted to, you know, not die from cancer.

Yes, you should be the one to stay at home.

You have my sympathy, but you need to take responsibility for your own health - it’s not reasonable to rely on others changing their behaviour, you need to be the one to do so.

That's awful. So selfish. We all have a cough, negative LFTs but have isolated and had PCRs as per guidance. Still no result this morning so had to move panto, which was meant to be this afternoon, to another date. Negative result annoying arrived literally ten mins later but it is what it is.

@BeLessMe

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment

People who know they are positive LEGALLY shouldn’t be putting vulnerable people at risk.

A lot of things are against the law that shouldn’t be.

Do you think the pro democracy protesters in Hong Kong should be jailed in the way that they are being?

Whether or not something is against the law, especially in times of political upheaval, is a poor indicator of right and wrong.

@BeLessMe

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment

People who know they are positive LEGALLY shouldn’t be putting vulnerable people at risk.

And more importantly than that, morally if you go to a busy place knowing you have coronavirus or even that there's a high probability you will have it, you're a cunt.

@MrsBerthaRochester

Im very open about my views on real life. Why wouldnt I be? My dad is terminally ill and has spent the last two years hiding at home rather than enjoying the time he has left with his family. I blame this entirely on the fear mongering media.

Ah ok. So your dad's risk assessment is more accurate than yours, as he knows he can't rely on human decency to think of others and that people like you support others breaking rules and visiting a theatre whilst positive with Covid, in the name of getting on with life.

The irony is that if people thought more about everyone's right to safety and could cope with small measures such as staying at home while positive, wearing masks and just generally acting like they live in a society rather than on a desert island, your dad might feel more able to go out and make the best of his remaining years.

So when we take to the roads in our cars, we assume the other drivers have passed their tests, aren't above the alcohol limit and are looking at the road not their mobile

When I learnt to drive, I was specifically taught to expect that the other drivers to be guilty of all of the above and taught defensive driving techniques to mitigate these risks.

Which brings us back to the point - it’s not reasonable to rely on others to keep you ‘safe’. If you get into a car as either a driver or passenger, you assume a level of risk.

@Marianne1234

Also I mean how many threads do we need to scorn people who have broken the rules? We KNOW it’s unreasonable. We KNOW.

Do we? DO WE?? On reading thread after thread on Mumsnet, I got the impression that a hard core of posters think it eminently reasonable to break the rules as they see fit with a casual disregard to anyone else