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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL gone to panto when waiting for PCR result - oh yes she did!

533 replies

anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 14:47

Name changed as I’ve been slated on here before for not allowing my SIL to do as she pleases.

Today I thought we’d made a positive turn as she has taken my older son and hers to the pantomime as I’ve got a broken leg (though she has made a big thing about helping out).

Unfortunately she’s just text me to say “BTW I’ve had a positive lateral and waiting on my PCR but decided to take the boys anyway as xxx (her son) was looking forward to it, I’m sure that’s fine”.

In which universe is that fine?? She’s risking not just my son, but the others she’s gone with and the whole audience!! She is very jealous if people do social things without her but surely there comes a time when sense is more important than FOMO?? I’m assuming she waited till she was there to tell me so I couldn’t do anything.

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for being annoyed as the rules aren’t clear cut and she hasn’t had the PCR test back.

AIBU for wanting to ban her as she’s so irresponsible and only really cares about herself?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
NameChanged15729 · 30/12/2021 18:48

MrsBerthaRochester I’ll put my head above the parapet and say I completely agree with you.

My children have autism and learning difficulties. Being in school is exceptionally important for there routine and mental stability. I will put that above all else and won’t apologise for it.

As I stated earlier, my entire household got Covid early December and we all followed the rules and self isolated but where does it end!? A previous poster mentioned businesses can rebuild. When? Covid isn’t going away anytime soon so we are going to have to carry on at some point.

MrsBerthaRochester · 30/12/2021 18:48

But the vast majority of folk have complied? They stayed home,wore masks,washed hands,home educated,got vaccines. Yet here we are being told that the nhs will be over whelmed. Again. If thats the narrative you choose to follow then thats up to you. I respect others opinions even when they have to resort to using phases such as covidiot.

BonnesVacances · 30/12/2021 18:51

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment

By the same token, if someone is mowed down by a speeding car, should they not have been on the road themselves? Is it not a reasonable assumption that the other drivers are using due care and attention at the wheel and following the law? In the same way as if someone is vulnerable, they should be able to make a reasonable assumption that the rest of the people in the theatre aren't selfish dicks who believe their love of pantomimes trumps the legal requirement not to be there if they have Covid.

But you are right that the only way to mitigate the risk if you are CEV is to carry on staying at home. And this is why people bleating about sacrifice and how fed up they are of Covid really don't have a bloody clue what they're talking about and should think themselves lucky that's all they have to worry about.

StarfishDish · 30/12/2021 18:52

@MrsBerthaRochester

I will happily be called selfish as Im not prepared to sacrifice my dcs education and mental health to let some older folk live another year. If you would like to argue with me on this then please go and look at the average age of died WITH covid. Im not putting ANYONES gramny before my dcs. So yep fine with being selfish. Time to get on with it.
@MrsBerthaRochester It's not just 'older folk' that are vulnerable to it though, is it? And yes, you are being selfish. You have symptoms, you have a PCR and isolate for the time needed. Not that hard really...
Liz1tummypain · 30/12/2021 18:53

Amazed that she'd want to tell you what a numpty she is. And why isn't her brother trying to stop her spreading the bugs about at the panto? This is why the case numbers are going through the roof.

Campfirewood · 30/12/2021 18:53

Well she's obviously a selfish knob. When I had covid I didn't even leave my house (not even for a walk, we live rurally). It's just so bloody contagious!

BonnesVacances · 30/12/2021 18:55

@MrsBerthaRochester

Im very open about my views on real life. Why wouldnt I be? My dad is terminally ill and has spent the last two years hiding at home rather than enjoying the time he has left with his family. I blame this entirely on the fear mongering media.

Whereas I blame it on people's inability to take people like your dad into account and help him to feel safe, rather than behave like dicks and tell them to stay at home forever if they don't want to get on with life.

SheikhMaraca · 30/12/2021 18:56

@BonnesVacances

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment

By the same token, if someone is mowed down by a speeding car, should they not have been on the road themselves? Is it not a reasonable assumption that the other drivers are using due care and attention at the wheel and following the law? In the same way as if someone is vulnerable, they should be able to make a reasonable assumption that the rest of the people in the theatre aren't selfish dicks who believe their love of pantomimes trumps the legal requirement not to be there if they have Covid.

But you are right that the only way to mitigate the risk if you are CEV is to carry on staying at home. And this is why people bleating about sacrifice and how fed up they are of Covid really don't have a bloody clue what they're talking about and should think themselves lucky that's all they have to worry about.

No, you make the decision to cross a road, you accept the risk.

The roads are full of drunk/unlicensed/idiotic drivers…we have to take steps to keep ourselves safe.

It’s incredibly naive to make an assumption that drivers are going to keep you safe. Of course they’re not.

whynotwhatknot · 30/12/2021 18:57

So what does your husband think now op

its ok because the rules werent clear-which they were

theyre all selfish fuckers-i suppose your sil wont isolate either

Luminousnose · 30/12/2021 19:02

I’ve just typed a ridiculously long post and then realised I can no longer be arsed trying to explain to people why this all has very little to do with people dying - however tragic individual cases are - and everything to do with keeping our infrastructure going. Simply put, if too many people get sick then EVERYTHING stops working, not just hospitals. Unlikely I know, but surely it’s ‘logical’ to reduce ANY risk of this as much as possible.

I’m not trying to diminish anyone’s death or loss. Three of my friends have died from cancer this year and I am full of rage that they all spent the last months of their lives locked away from life. Covid 19, however, gives no fucks about individuals.

Luminousnose · 30/12/2021 19:03

Almost forgot to say op. Yes, your SIL is an idiot - at best!

BoredZelda · 30/12/2021 19:09

If we stopped testing, stopped isolating and stopped with the incessant media reporting then we could crack on, keep working and not have endless paranoia about society collapsing.

You realise Covid is still making a lot of people too unwell to work? This nonsense that it is just a mild illness is giving people a false sense of reality.

Dguu6u · 30/12/2021 19:09

@MrsBerthaRochester Ah ok, you don’t want to sacrifice your kids’ education. Your dad is terminally ill and ‘hiding’ in the house - as he knows there’s a big chance he will die sooner from Covid rather than later. So if we add this together, you actually would sacrifice your dad? Because everyone should continue as normal and let Covid go rife. What a loving daughter you are!

BoredZelda · 30/12/2021 19:10

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment

Yay! More ableist bullshit.

PlanktonsComputerWife · 30/12/2021 19:14

To respond directly to the OP's title...

OH NO, SHE DIDN'T!

SheikhMaraca · 30/12/2021 19:16

@BoredZelda

Vulnerable people should not be putting themselves in that environment

Yay! More ableist bullshit.

Not at all; the operative word in the Equalities Act 2010 is that Reasonable adjustments should be made to facilitate people with disabilities.

Expecting huge swathes of society to needlessly shut themselves in their homes just cannot be considered to be a reasonable adjustment.

BonnesVacances · 30/12/2021 19:16

No, you make the decision to cross a road, you accept the risk.

The roads are full of drunk/unlicensed/idiotic drivers…we have to take steps to keep ourselves safe.

It’s incredibly naive to make an assumption that drivers are going to keep you safe. Of course they’re not.

You're right. Let's drop the laws, let people decide for themselves what's safe and how they behave, and whether they want to take any risks etc. Laws and rules have no place in our society as we can't assume anyone is following them and so let's just do away with them. Each to their own. Hmm

BoredatHome321 · 30/12/2021 19:17

@SheikhMaraca I actually can't believe people think like you 🤢

BonnesVacances · 30/12/2021 19:18

Expecting huge swathes of society to needlessly shut themselves in their homes just cannot be considered to be a reasonable adjustment.

Not going to a panto when you have Covid is a reasonable adjustment.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 30/12/2021 19:18

FFS! Covid is not going anywhere and we have to get back to normal at some point. The constant catastrophising is too much. This is the first time most of you have had to face up to the fact you're mortal isn't it? Life is wonderful and extremely short, just enjoy it eh? I'm triple vaccinated, I've worn masks, I've worked as normal right through lockdown, no privileged wfh for me, I can't do any more, I'm totally done with it now. The selfish ones are those wanting society to come to a standstill.

BoredatHome321 · 30/12/2021 19:18

@BonnesVacances

Expecting huge swathes of society to needlessly shut themselves in their homes just cannot be considered to be a reasonable adjustment.

Not going to a panto when you have Covid is a reasonable adjustment.

God forbid anybody misses the panto Hmm
BonnesVacances · 30/12/2021 19:19

@Alltheprettyseahorses

FFS! Covid is not going anywhere and we have to get back to normal at some point. The constant catastrophising is too much. This is the first time most of you have had to face up to the fact you're mortal isn't it? Life is wonderful and extremely short, just enjoy it eh? I'm triple vaccinated, I've worn masks, I've worked as normal right through lockdown, no privileged wfh for me, I can't do any more, I'm totally done with it now. The selfish ones are those wanting society to come to a standstill.
I think you're the one catastophising tbh. You can't do it anymore? What is it exactly that you can't do anymore? Wear a mask indoors? Think of others?
MrsBerthaRochester · 30/12/2021 19:19

People havent constantly been breaking the rules!! The vast majority of people have done whats has been asked of them. Yet here we are a year ffom last xmas with the same headlines, nhs on brink,thousands dying. Keep taking more vaccines. What is hard to grasp that some people are employing their own critical thinking and saying enough is enough? We have done what was asked and we are not prepared to continue this indefinately. Infrastructures will be over whelmed(if thats what you choose to believe) because people are being told to stay at home with what is to MOST people no worse than a cold.

AsYouWishButtercup · 30/12/2021 19:21

Going against the grain here to say I genuinely don’t give a shit what the everyday person does

BoredatHome321 · 30/12/2021 19:21

@BonnesVacances I think we're talking to the same people that would happily take their ill child to soft play Wink there's no reasoning with idiots

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