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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL gone to panto when waiting for PCR result - oh yes she did!

533 replies

anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 14:47

Name changed as I’ve been slated on here before for not allowing my SIL to do as she pleases.

Today I thought we’d made a positive turn as she has taken my older son and hers to the pantomime as I’ve got a broken leg (though she has made a big thing about helping out).

Unfortunately she’s just text me to say “BTW I’ve had a positive lateral and waiting on my PCR but decided to take the boys anyway as xxx (her son) was looking forward to it, I’m sure that’s fine”.

In which universe is that fine?? She’s risking not just my son, but the others she’s gone with and the whole audience!! She is very jealous if people do social things without her but surely there comes a time when sense is more important than FOMO?? I’m assuming she waited till she was there to tell me so I couldn’t do anything.

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for being annoyed as the rules aren’t clear cut and she hasn’t had the PCR test back.

AIBU for wanting to ban her as she’s so irresponsible and only really cares about herself?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Staffy1 · 30/12/2021 17:21

Makes me glad I transferred our panto tickets to next year. It seemed mad to go with so much covid about, but I still wouldn’t have thought someone would go knowing they had it.

Thewiseoneincognito · 30/12/2021 17:30

Sorry to say but your sister is a selfish prick OP. Reconsider leaving your child with her next time she’s clearly irresponsible.

Original poster
anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 17:34

@TheWokeyCokey as I've said I thought she was being unreasonable but the fact that husband and then MIL and other SIL defended her made me doubt myself.

OP posts:
hairymorag · 30/12/2021 17:37

Selfish fool. To have a positive lateral flow and yet still go to a crowded panto is disgusting. Most expect people to take a lateral flow prior to going to a large event, if positive you stay at home. There are people who are in the vulnerable group who would trust others to ensure they do the right thing and not be selfish. My DH is immunocompromised, he has already had covid and nearly died. He has multiple health issues due to complications with cancer treatment and is a high risk. We havent booked any outings of this nature as we recognise that people are selfish and consider only themselves therefore we know we would be taking a risk as you cant trust that others arent wankers.

Snuggledupforwinter · 30/12/2021 17:39

We've lost a much loved family member to covid and his DWs long covid has resulted in 2 debilitating strokes. Whilst most people will hopefully have the milder omicron, there are CEV for whom viral infection has a massive impact on their health. Deliberately going out when probably positive shows she's a complete idiot and untrustworthy with your DC.
Our own family are now LFTing daily after a pretested -ve family Xmas day has resulted in several of family now testing +ve LFT but cant get a PCR in our areas.

Original poster
anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 17:41

So she dropped off DS but didn't come to the door as her PCR was positive (she messaged DH)

it seems a bit late for the isolating but she probably decided to avoid an argument with me as even she must know she's on dodgy ground now

We have no plans for the next few days so will keep DS home and keep an eye on him just in case

Thanks for the support, at least I know the husband and inlaws are muppets.

OP posts:
BonnesVacances · 30/12/2021 17:41

You do realise, I hope, that everyone is going to die at some point? The odds of you dying from Covid, though, remain tiny - less than a 1% death rate (the latest figures for Omicron suggest a death rate of 1 in 833).

For the vast, vast majority, Omicron is a cold. That's it. And if someone is CEV, why this obsession that Covid will kill you when a host of other diseases (norovirus, regular flu) could presumably carry you off just as easily?

My CEV DD is going to die at some point, but she's currently 20 and I'd hope society would give her longer than that tbh.Confused

The odds of her actually dying may be low, but she's been bedbound for the last 18 months since catching Covid. She's self harming by biting herself and pulling out her hair due to boredom and being unable to do anything to occupy herself. I strongly object to her being deemed to have survived Covid** simply because she didn't die (or hasn't died yet) and being included in your quoted 'less than 1% death rate', when in fact death would have been kinder to her.

And to answer what will likely be an unsympathetic follow up post asking if she or we are just as obsessed with a host of other diseases, yes we are and yes we were. We had face masks before you even knew where to buy them from and have always been extremely wary of viruses in general because of the genuine huge risk they posed to her.

People ignoring the rules designed to prevent the spread of Covid for everyone's benefit is dangerous and selfish and comes from a place of extreme health privilege.

Scottishskifun · 30/12/2021 17:43

Its a whole new level of dickish behaviour!

Does your partner not realise that your now going to have to sort tests and stay home?!

Book a test for your DS in 3 days times it's typically 3-5 days development time.

Looubylou · 30/12/2021 17:44

Covid aside, I'm very concerned at her goading you and deliberately causing upset. Equally concerning is your DH supporting her. I wouldn't want contact with someone like this. She sounds very immature, at best. I wouldn't react directly at all. I would gradually reduce contact. She would not be in sole charge of my child again however. I would be clear to DH regarding this - if he objects, you are frankly not his priority. Why would you support people who treat your partner like this? People like his DM, SIL2, who were also in on the deception. That's before you get me started on the covid side of things.

Millionairesshortbreadshort · 30/12/2021 17:46

Marianne1234

Fuck right off with the selfish chat. It has been two years. We have sacrificed plenty. It’s not selfish to want to carry on with your life. It’s entirely normal and understandable. Stop trying to demonise people for this.

selfish
adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

In what way is it NOT selfish to go to an indoor venue where you know you are highly likely to infect others?

Shade17 · 30/12/2021 17:50

She’s an absolute cuntweasel

CovidforCrimbo · 30/12/2021 17:51

Bloody hell. Selfish cow. She could be sat next to someone's granny and pass it on.

iloverunningslow · 30/12/2021 17:52

Well I'm still waiting on a pcr from two weeks ago so I am definitely going out. What would Boris do?

gsaoej · 30/12/2021 17:53

Your son was in her car and in the theatre. With omicron, it’s almost certain that he will test positive soon.

She sounds a bit thick.

FrippEnos · 30/12/2021 17:54

@Marianne1234

Fuck right off with the selfish chat. It has been two years. We have sacrificed plenty. It’s not selfish to want to carry on with your life. It’s entirely normal and understandable. Stop trying to demonise people for this.
We have parents like you send in children to classes whilst waiting for a PCR.

Next thing you know 3 teachers are out and 20 kids.

Yes its selfish. Get over yourself.

Millionairesshortbreadshort · 30/12/2021 17:54

BonnesVacances

Your are right that the risk of dying from Covid is small. The risk of serious illness is also small. However a small percentage of the entire population = a Healthcare system that can’t cope. That is just one impact. This has never been about individual risk. Also, there will be other pantomimes. Businesses can be rebuilt. Theatres and venues can be restored. Money re-earned. Dead is dead. Grief and trauma can last a life time. Knowing that the NHS and emergency services are there for us if we need them is not a luxury. We have a responsibility to do what we can to flatten the curve. What kind of unevolved and uncivilised society are we if we say that one persons right to go to a fucking pantomime trumps other people’s rights to life and healthcare?

Lolabray · 30/12/2021 17:55

She’s an idiot

DappledOliveGroves · 30/12/2021 17:56

Still don't understand, from a logic perspective, what the difference is between someone knowingly going to the theatre with a positive LFT and the fact that one third of those with Covid are asymptomatic and will be happily enjoying the theatre and spreading it unawares.

Fair enough if everyone had to do a negative LFT at the theatre as a condition of entry (albeit whether a LFT would pick up those whose viral load hasn't hit a certain threshold is questionable) but they don't. So statistically there are always going to be asymptomatic individuals in any theatre, spreading Covid. So what's the difference between going whilst awaiting a PCR result and going, with no symptoms, but spreading it anyway?

CriminalOrator · 30/12/2021 17:57

She is a total cunt.

I seem to find myself writing that about so many people on so many threads lately. Sigh.

Beetlebum1981 · 30/12/2021 18:02

What does your DH think now that her PCR has come back positive? I'm assuming he'll take time off work to look after your DS next week while he's isolating? 🤔

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2021 18:02

@MrsBerthaRochester

Its a MILD illness for the vast majority. If omicron is as infectious as suggested then its rife everywhere and people will be asymptomatic. Lockdowb lovers stay home and the rest of us can get back to living. Cant stand Boris but he made the right choice not to impose new year restrictions. Folk cant get tests because they are testing with no symptoms. Just stop it. Wear a mask, wash your hands and carry on. Its NOT the plague.
But she knows she's got it!!
Janus · 30/12/2021 18:03

Honestly I cannot even fathom her ridiculous reasoning. She had symptoms and a positive LF but thought it may be negative? We are in the throws of Covid, 4 out of 6 of us have it, it’s highly infectious to say the least. I’ve been floored for nearly a week, can manage the basics of putting a load of washing on and unloading the dishwasher and then need to sit down again or go back to bed! I really hope you manage to escape it.

girlmom21 · 30/12/2021 18:04

You do realise, I hope, that everyone is going to die at some point? The odds of you dying from Covid, though, remain tiny - less than a 1% death rate (the latest figures for Omicron suggest a death rate of 1 in 833).

1 in 833 is a lot of people.
That means someone who was at secondary school at the same time as me will die.

If one person at school at the time as all of us died, that's 100 people. Don't you think that's scary enough for us all to just be a bit more sensible?

curlymom · 30/12/2021 18:08

People like her are responsible for any future restrictions. Selfish

derxa · 30/12/2021 18:08

@Marianne1234

I just can’t get excited about this any more.

If it’s as rife as the headlines are screaming about then what’s even the point 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yup