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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL gone to panto when waiting for PCR result - oh yes she did!

533 replies

anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 14:47

Name changed as I’ve been slated on here before for not allowing my SIL to do as she pleases.

Today I thought we’d made a positive turn as she has taken my older son and hers to the pantomime as I’ve got a broken leg (though she has made a big thing about helping out).

Unfortunately she’s just text me to say “BTW I’ve had a positive lateral and waiting on my PCR but decided to take the boys anyway as xxx (her son) was looking forward to it, I’m sure that’s fine”.

In which universe is that fine?? She’s risking not just my son, but the others she’s gone with and the whole audience!! She is very jealous if people do social things without her but surely there comes a time when sense is more important than FOMO?? I’m assuming she waited till she was there to tell me so I couldn’t do anything.

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for being annoyed as the rules aren’t clear cut and she hasn’t had the PCR test back.

AIBU for wanting to ban her as she’s so irresponsible and only really cares about herself?

OP posts:
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5
MrsBerthaRochester · 30/12/2021 22:47

If you feel you are at risk from being seriously ill then YOU stay at home.

MrsBerthaRochester · 30/12/2021 22:47

Happy new year for when it arrives.

Offmyfence · 30/12/2021 22:47

She is totally wrong, but who is actually going to do anything about it?

People are doing what they want now, obviously including cheese and wine parties.

Covidworries · 30/12/2021 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

winterchills · 30/12/2021 22:50

She's absolutely bang out of order! Now they whole audience could be infected. Selfish cow😡😡

northernsquirrel · 30/12/2021 22:50

God sake...no wonder the figures are so high when people are so selfish!

BurntO · 30/12/2021 22:51

Struggling to believe the truth in this. Anyone who cares wouldn’t go. Anyone who doesn’t care wouldn’t bother to send that message. IMO

Covidworries · 30/12/2021 22:52

@mrsbertharochester

How dare you wish people a healthy new year when you openly boast you would go out to busy events knowing you were positive. That is the opposite of wish people health you are willing and happy to make people ill in the new year

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2021 22:52

So anyway, @anotherannoyngSIL what did you say to SiL when she brought your DS home?

CalishataFolkart · 30/12/2021 22:53

@MrsBerthaRochester

If you feel you are at risk from being seriously ill then YOU stay at home.
They ARE staying at home. They want to not have to stay at home for longer than necessary. People going out and knowingly spreading Covid are making the pandemic last longer than is necessary. This is the point. The situation is already bad. What would help would be if people stopped knowingly making it worse because they want their kids to see a panto.

It’s not a case of, “If you’re scared just don’t go to the panto.” They can’t go ANYWHERE.

UndertheCedartree · 30/12/2021 22:54

@MrsBerthaRochester

We are all spreaders because most people are asymptomatic and nobody I know is testing every day! Real world people!
I find that hard to believe that everyone is spreading it and most are asymptomatic. Of course this is purely anecdotal but in all this time I've not caught it from someone asymptomatic. I caught it from my friend and her DD both who have been (and still are) very unwell. The DC seem to be getting unwell with it this time.

I actually had someone who was telling me it was just a cold back in 2020 suggest the reason I'd been hospitalised not being able to breathe was a panic attack rather than actual Covid!

Offmyfence · 30/12/2021 22:55

@BurntO

Struggling to believe the truth in this. Anyone who cares wouldn’t go. Anyone who doesn’t care wouldn’t bother to send that message. IMO
Very good point!
UndertheCedartree · 30/12/2021 22:56

@MrsBerthaRochester

If you feel you are at risk from being seriously ill then YOU stay at home.
I wasn't at risk of being seriously unwell...but I was.
TheRainbow · 30/12/2021 23:12

@MrsBerthaRochester

If it was something my kids had been looking forward to it? Possibly. I would assess the fact that most people will have already had it, have it and dont know so just as likely to spread it as I am and that anyone highly vulnerable would be avoiding large gatherings like the plague. No pun intended.
I am CEV and have two young children. Why should they miss out on the panto due to the selfishness of others?
BrotherHelp · 30/12/2021 23:13

@MrsBerthaRochester

Healthy men who did iron men? Ancedotes are not evidence. The statistics on who is dying with covid are readily available and its NOT young healthy people and no amount of fear mongering can make it so.
Long covid, like I said. Colleagues, healthy people who got covid pre vaccine, and some post. Loosing their jobs. Not anecdotal. Healthy people who did iron men, cycled miles every day, worked all the hours. Now nothing. No treatment as it’s all so new. But meh, it’s not individually in a paper for you.
humdingle · 30/12/2021 23:15

[quote Covidworries]@mrsbertharochester

How dare you wish people a healthy new year when you openly boast you would go out to busy events knowing you were positive. That is the opposite of wish people health you are willing and happy to make people ill in the new year[/quote]
Don't be so dramatic - I don't think that's actually what was said, you're getting angry at another poster for no reason. "How dare you.." 😂

Original poster
anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 23:15

@BurntO Are you my SIL?! Have you really never met someone who feeds on drama and being centre of attention (even if it’s negative) . I’ve already said I think she decided to message me because she had told SIL and MIL so knew I would find out at some point. I think she timed it as she did as she loves the drama but waited till it was too late for me to stop her.

As to why she tested if she was going anyway, have you not seen the posts on here? Some
people think it’s fine to do whatever even when positive. She wouldn't care about the pantomime as most people are strangers and she only cares about herself.

I haven’t asked but if i had to guess then maybe she tested as was quite ill with covid last time so may have wanted the PCR results in case she had to contact the doctors later.

OP posts:
BrotherHelp · 30/12/2021 23:15

@MrsBerthaRochester

If you feel you are at risk from being seriously ill then YOU stay at home.
Your whole household has to stay home to protect someone? So if it’s a kid both parents can’t work, or an adult then all adults and kids can’t go to school to not bring it home. Or adult lives in total isolation for family as in sealed bedroom. You think this is much better for families than the general public wearing masks and take a test and isolating for 7 days and not being dicks? The vulnerable person can stay at home but they are still at risk if anyone is coming and going in the house.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 30/12/2021 23:17

@MrsBerthaRochester

I am talking about the statistics that are available to us now. Anyway I think when folk have to resort to personal attacks via pm the time has come to end my contribution to this thread. I repeat wishing all a happy and healthy new year.
I can only assume you included healthy in your last sentence as a snide final sign off. People would have more chance of being healthy in the new year if people like you weren't so selfish.
humdingle · 30/12/2021 23:21

@BrotherHelp "Long covid, like I said. Colleagues, healthy people who got covid pre vaccine, and some post. Loosing their jobs. Not anecdotal. Healthy people who did iron men, cycled miles every day, worked all the hours. Now nothing. No treatment as it’s all so new. But meh, it’s not individually in a paper for you."

If you know multiple people in your area who this has happened to, I have bad news for you, it's not just covid as that is not normal, something else is happening. I would be campaigning to get your water tested or something.

You are speaking about people (plural) who did iron men events and are completely incapacitated now and you are saying it's not anecdotal - so please, point me to the data that reports all these multiple former iron man participants who cannot function day to day (because if you can't do that then guess what - it's anecdotal! And probably an exaggeration)

Lockeddownagain · 30/12/2021 23:24

My sister got covid at the theatre she's been ill for a week and tested psotive on Xmas day but had symptoms and negative tests for 4 days before she's literally yellow and so ill. I worked in the theatre industry for years it's on its knees and if an outbreak happens cos of audience the place will shut. I'm so bored of people wanting to live their life's and we need to ignore guidance the war went on for 6years things go on for years we are living through it just cos Boris is ignoring it doesn't mean the rest of us need it. She is a fanny

RonaLisa · 30/12/2021 23:24

@PurpleDaisies

..not really - many people whose 'chips are down' have integrity - in other words they do nothing to harm others and are honest.

The problem is sometimes others in their household will be harmed if they don’t go to work. They can’t put food on the table. They can’t pay their mortgage. The government support for self isolation has been utterly rubbish.

This is absolutely true. I have had a cold/cough for the past week, and haven't tested myself because I can't afford to have any time off, should it be positive.
ohfook · 30/12/2021 23:24

Honestly it's fucking everywhere at the minute. One extra person at the panto won't make much difference. I personally wouldn't do it, but I don't know anyone who has 100% stuck to the rules all of the time.

Also, and correct me if I'm wrong, if the r rate is between one and two, doesn't that mean that most people are roughly only passing it to one or two other people? So it's not like she's be passing it to the whole theatre anyway.

Original poster
anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 23:25

@Nanny0gg she didn't come to the door when dropping DS so I havent spoken to her. I haven't contacted her as part of me thinks having a go at her will feed her love of drama and she will somehow make herself the victim and me the bad guy in the eyes of MIL etc (especially if she gets ill with it)

Im not sure the best way to play it but for now (tonight!) im not rising to the bait and I will try to go no contact for a while.

I might notify the pantomime venue just in case but assume track and trace do that (if she had it on)

As others have suggested posting lots of pics of things she's missing will be irritating for her (once I'm happy DS hasn't got it)

OP posts:
humdingle · 30/12/2021 23:26

@Lockeddownagain when you mention the war you've lost the argument. One of those internet rules isn't it 😂