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AIBU?

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Original poster

SIL gone to panto when waiting for PCR result - oh yes she did!

533 replies

anotherannoyngSIL · 30/12/2021 14:47

Name changed as I’ve been slated on here before for not allowing my SIL to do as she pleases.

Today I thought we’d made a positive turn as she has taken my older son and hers to the pantomime as I’ve got a broken leg (though she has made a big thing about helping out).

Unfortunately she’s just text me to say “BTW I’ve had a positive lateral and waiting on my PCR but decided to take the boys anyway as xxx (her son) was looking forward to it, I’m sure that’s fine”.

In which universe is that fine?? She’s risking not just my son, but the others she’s gone with and the whole audience!! She is very jealous if people do social things without her but surely there comes a time when sense is more important than FOMO?? I’m assuming she waited till she was there to tell me so I couldn’t do anything.

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for being annoyed as the rules aren’t clear cut and she hasn’t had the PCR test back.

AIBU for wanting to ban her as she’s so irresponsible and only really cares about herself?

OP posts:
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5
MrsBerthaRochester · 30/12/2021 20:49

If you wish to stay at home to live in fear of a mild illness then I have no issue with that. But dont keep continually expecting me to do the same.

Abraxan · 30/12/2021 20:50

@Lacedwithgrace

Lots of people seem to think until they're positive they're fine. Same people who who go on as normal while their entire household is isolating.
To be fair, that's what we are told to do in England, along side daily LFTs. As a result, children go to school if their parents are positive and people go to work even if their partner who they share a bed with is positive. It's in the guidelines to do just that.

However, awaiting a PCR result due to a positive lft or if you have symptoms goes against the guidelines iirr.

MrsBerthaRochester · 30/12/2021 20:52

I hope everyone on here has a happy and healthy new year. You make your choices on whats best for you and your family. I shall do the same with mine and enjoy the Hogmanany party I have just been invited to.
Heres hoping for a better 2022 for all.

CalishataFolkart · 30/12/2021 20:54

Not going into a packed indoor event where you know there are many unvaccinated children and you know you have a highly contagious, potientially deadly disease =/= staying at home to live in fear of a mild illness.

CriminalOrator · 30/12/2021 20:58

@MrsBerthaRochester

Yes thats correct. Once it infects everyone it will become a milder illness. So lets get on with that happening. Dont worry about more variants. We shall just take booster number five. Or is it six? Or we can just get on with living with a mild cold like illness among us.
This ‘mild cold’ will kill my mum who has metastatic cancer but isn’t old and it has the potential to kill my vulnerable disabled sibling.

I cannot believe posters are genuinely advocating going about their business with symptoms and ‘getting on with infecting everyone’ to make it ‘milder’.

And my post was deleted for calling someone a fool.

Bunnycat101 · 30/12/2021 21:02

I am shocked there are people arguing this isn’t utterly selfish behaviour. She knew she had it and she went to an inside venue where the chances of transmission were high. There has to be an element of pragmatism around coughs/colds and a balance of risk but to knowingly go to a bloody pantomime when positive is despicable.

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 30/12/2021 21:02

What about the cast? They won't be able to perform if they test positive

Briarshollow · 30/12/2021 21:03

@MrsBerthaRochester

I hope everyone on here has a happy and healthy new year. You make your choices on whats best for you and your family. I shall do the same with mine and enjoy the Hogmanany party I have just been invited to. Heres hoping for a better 2022 for all.
Wishing everyone a happy and healthy new year, while advocating ‘getting on with’ infecting everyone is deliberate, screaming irony, right?
Darbs76 · 30/12/2021 21:05

Totally fed up with selfish people doing this. Isolate if you’ve got a positive LFT until PCR result, no matter what you’re missing. Selfish, selfish selfish

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 30/12/2021 21:06

I missed out on a panto with my kids for exactly this on Friday - I had a positive lateral flow and had a PCR. Results weren't in but I knew they'd be positive as I felt rubbish. It's incredibly selfish of her!

RonaLisa · 30/12/2021 21:13

@MrsBerthaRochester

If you wish to stay at home to live in fear of a mild illness then I have no issue with that. But dont keep continually expecting me to do the same.
Same here.
RonaLisa · 30/12/2021 21:14

@Invasionofthegutsnatchers

What about the cast? They won't be able to perform if they test positive
If I were a member of the cast and tested positive, I wouldn't be telling anyone. Who's going to be paid if they're an actor and have to isolate for a week? Unless I actually felt too unwell to work, I'd be cracking on with it. It's so easy for people to go on about isolation when they have jobs where they're paid regardless.
Seneca · 30/12/2021 21:16

@Wizzbangfizz

Frankly, it's so contagious that if you don't want to catch it then don't go anywhere. Mind you, I've always felt that the onus should be on those not wanting to catch it to stay home, rather than others having to curtail their freedom in case someone catches it.

Agreed @DappledOliveGroves

Problem is it's not a free choice. A reasonable percentage of people that catch it will incur a cost to society either by using medical services thereby denying others access to the NHS with things being cancelled etc.. or they pass it on to others who have to use shops, chemists etc and these people need to then use medical services or isolate etc... So it's not exactly a free choice? Society will pay for those making selfish decisions in the name of "freedom"
UndertheCedartree · 30/12/2021 21:16

@RonaLisa - just because they have already been exposed they can still catch it again. This variant seems to be making DC really unwell where they had mild/no symptoms before. I just don't get why you'd want to give other kids this horrible illness. And as for just getting on with your life? Not easy when your DC are so ill they sleep most of the day and you're really unwell yourself. I wish.

Ileflottante · 30/12/2021 21:22

We went to a wedding a few weeks ago. The bride and groom tested positive on the morning and told no one. They allowed their guests to hug and kiss them. I’m not a hugger so managed to avoid it but loads of guests subsequently tested positive. An elderly relative was among them and is still in hospital. They were in hospital all over Christmas. Because of Covid. Not with Covid. God knows if they’ll walk out or come out in a box.

According to some posters, that sort of deception is not only fine, it’s to be encouraged.

Ileflottante · 30/12/2021 21:25

Unbelievable.

SIL gone to panto when waiting for PCR result - oh yes she did!
UndertheCedartree · 30/12/2021 21:25

@MrsBerthaRochester

I hope everyone on here has a happy and healthy new year. You make your choices on whats best for you and your family. I shall do the same with mine and enjoy the Hogmanany party I have just been invited to. Heres hoping for a better 2022 for all.
Unfortunately, we're starting the year with Covid. I sincerely hope you do get to enjoy your party and don't get a nasty dose of Covid beforehand. I'm not 'living in fear of a mild illness' I've had it twice. I was hospitalised and then had Long Covid for a year. My DC had a mild/symptomless illness first time. This time it has hit the DC badly (and friend's DC) - it is certainly not like a cold. I have it much milder but still really ill and worried I'll be too fatigued to take my DD to school next week. I have never felt like that with a cold.
TheRainbow · 30/12/2021 21:27

@RonaLisa - actors would more than likely be honest and do the right thing. I used to work in the theatre and they are the most honest, caring bunch of people I've ever met. Yes, many actors are low paid (I know from experience) and there is always uncertainty when a show ends but they have empathy for all sorts of folks (a requirement of the job) and they have integrity.

UndertheCedartree · 30/12/2021 21:34

Can you imagine testing positive and not telling your work mates because you felt ok and then passing it on to lots who were really ill and so couldn't work and it passing to their kids so once again the holiday was spoiled for them? I just couldn't do that.

RonaLisa · 30/12/2021 21:36

[quote Izzypuss]@RonaLisa - actors would more than likely be honest and do the right thing. I used to work in the theatre and they are the most honest, caring bunch of people I've ever met. Yes, many actors are low paid (I know from experience) and there is always uncertainty when a show ends but they have empathy for all sorts of folks (a requirement of the job) and they have integrity.[/quote]
Up to a point (guess which profession I work in!)

Like everyone else, actors are not all an amorphous blob, and they all need to earn a living. That does kind of trump "integrity" when the chips are down.

BonnesVacances · 30/12/2021 21:43

@MrsBerthaRochester

If you wish to stay at home to live in fear of a mild illness then I have no issue with that. But dont keep continually expecting me to do the same.
Why do you have to be so dismissive and disdainful of people's rational fear by referring to it as living in fear? When they don't want to catch something that, because of underlying health issues, is not a mild illness to them, but it poses a real risk of life or permanent disability to them?

Are you this shitty towards your dad with his terminal illness? Do you ridicule him for being afraid of dying? Would you speak this way to someone who was in a car crash and then was fearful of travelling by car again? It's such an inhumane response to other people's desire to avoid a serious outcome, I just can't comprehend how people can publicly own up to it.Confused

You do you. But don't belittle people who have genuine cause to be fearful of the outcome of catching Covid. Or parrot catchphrases such as live in fear and mild illness.

TheRainbow · 30/12/2021 21:43

@ronalisa
..not really - many people whose 'chips are down' have integrity - in other words they do nothing to harm others and are honest.

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2021 21:44

..not really - many people whose 'chips are down' have integrity - in other words they do nothing to harm others and are honest.

The problem is sometimes others in their household will be harmed if they don’t go to work. They can’t put food on the table. They can’t pay their mortgage. The government support for self isolation has been utterly rubbish.

ilovesooty · 30/12/2021 21:45

@Marianne1234

Fuck right off with the selfish chat. It has been two years. We have sacrificed plenty. It’s not selfish to want to carry on with your life. It’s entirely normal and understandable. Stop trying to demonise people for this.
It's socially irresponsible to go to crowded indoor places and put people at risk if you've tested positive and are waiting for the result of a PCR. Anyone with any basic decency understands that.
UndertheCedartree · 30/12/2021 21:57

My DC don't even have an underlying condition and this has not been a mild illness (i.e like a cold) - luckily for them it will be mild as in they won't need to be hospitalised. I have no underlying condition but was hospitalised last time and was ill for a year last time. I'm lucky in that I don't fear this will kill me but I am scared of having a long illness and not being able to look after my DC.

I personally feel our DC have gone without so much. They deserve to have a nice Christmas holiday. Unfortunately for my DC and some of their friends Christmas has been ruined but for us to spread that to lots of their other friends and other DC at the Panto and ruin their holiday too. I just don't think it's fair.