Non vegetarian cheese present for a vegetarian

[Neolara]

I've been veggie for over 30 years, married for nearly 20. My in laws are very nice. Recently, my in laws have taken to sending my a selection of cheese from posh cheese shops for my birthday and Xmas. The cheese is not cheap. Each box probably costs about £30 -£40 for 4 cheeses. However, usually most of the cheeses are not vegetarian so I haven't eaten them. This Xmas, my DH asked my in laws to make sure the cheese was vegetarian. A box of cheese has just arrived. It looks fantastic but again, only one of the four is veggie. I will only eat this one cheese. My DH will probably eat all the rest of the cheese.

So I haven't said anything to the in laws other than thank you very much because it seems incredibly rude to do anything else. But on the other hand, they think they are giving me a brilliant present but it's really not. I feel like they are wasting their money as I won't eat the vast majority of it. And from looking at the shops website, they could easily have bought veggie cheese. So not saying anything seems stupid.

So, YANBU - Of course you shouldn't say anything other than thank you very much. It's the thought that counts.
YABU -Of course you should tell your lovely in laws that if they buy you cheese it needs to be veggie cheese so they'll just keep wasting their money.

And yes, I totally appreciate this is a first world problem.

It might be easier, but it's unfair on those of us who had to say 'I'm a strict vegetarian, no meat, fish or poultry or animal by-products at all' because of your lazy attitude.

The worst food I ever had was in Italy (way up north) closely followed by America. Weird huh?

It’s getting worse in the U.K. now - whereas we were getting to the stage where there would be a choice (shock) of 2 or 3 things on a menu, it’s gone back to one vegan option (to cover vegan, Veganaries, veggies, halal etc) and I can find vegan food a bit sicky sometimes (especially if it’s a ‘meat sub’ or includes a dairy substitute).

My 4 year with a 'lazy attitude' holding the veggie torch from 1984 through to 2022, is terribly sorry for being unfair on you for not being able to vocalise 'I'm a strict vegetarian, no meat, fish or poultry or animal by-products at all' in an era before vegetarianism was really a thing in this country.

l tried 'I only eat white meat' but would end up getting served chicken

But chicken is white meat.

@Kittenkong - yes agree totally re. the one option on the menu problem. Also I've had the whole 'you can't have cheese on your vegan burger cos it means it won't be vegan' convo a couple of times too.

But chicken is white meat

So possibly 'I'm a vegetarian who eats fish' WAS the only way for a child to explain it back in the 80s?

Anyway - on that note, I'm off to have my vegetarian curry. A couple of responses on here have rather proved my point.

The fact that this thread has gone on for 20 pages does suggest there isn’t one universally understood definition of vegetarianism.

To me if someone says they’re a vegetarian it’s a bit like them saying they’re a practising Jew (or any other religion). Within any group of practising Jews you’re going to get varying degrees of religious observance. But they would all be accurately described as practising Jews.

Well the Veggie society says ‘Vegetarians and vegans don’t eat products or by-products of slaughter. They don’t eat any foods which have been made using processing aids from slaughter.’ So that means rennet and gelatine. When I was first veggie I wouldn’t have leather or silk items, etc, full non-animal…

Vegans are supposed not to eat honey (or figs?). Some people won’t keep pets wither (or try to feed the ones they have veggie foods).

Back in the day, veggies and vegans would make food from scratch (far fewer ready prepared things I guess), nowadays it’s big business with Veganary for the part time ‘I’m so good’ people (what’s with wanting food that looks like roadkill?). And I can’t quite get my head around the Vegan society ‘approving’ a MacDonalds burger (which apparently tastes like the meal one). Old school vegans and veggies used to protest McDs!

God I’m so old…

I think they genuinely don't understand about what cheese is vegetarian and what isn't.

I can't eat gluten and my MIL has never got her head around it in all the years I've known her.

Regarding figs:

The fig produces an enzyme called ficain (also known as ficin) which digests the dead wasps and the fig absorbs the nutrients to create the ripe fruits and seeds.

I think strictness of veganism is possibly slightly more open to interpretation: i.e. how far do you go with food produced on a farm where pesticides have been used to kill off competition for the food that humans want for themselves; or where combine harvesters have been used and you know that insects will have been killed in the mechanism.

I suppose there could also be an argument against any plant food grown by using animal dung as fertiliser - yes, it hasn't caused the animal any pain or distress to do a poo, but it's still an animal product, and if you go along the lines of not agreeing with keeping animals captive to be able to collect their poo in the first place.

Vegetarianism, though, is surely very simple to explain: nothing that has come from an animal which required the animal to die to provide it. How is that ambiguous?

[quote KirstenBlest]@anditgoesonandon

... out of interest what reason could there be outside of ethics and morals for eating one pack of cheese but not the three others? She's hardly incapable of eating vegetarian cheese but not non-vegetarian cheese for health reasons.

I don't want to eat animals. Not for ethical or moral reasons but because I don't want to.[/quote]
But you'd happily drunk their breast milk after their babies are taken away and they wail in turmoil?

@iloveredpandas, you have some strange ideas about dairy farming.

I am not opposed to farming. I have experience of the industry.
I don't eat meat or animal by-products because I am opposed to the practices of some farmers, and I happened to not like most meat products. When I decided as a child to stop eating meat as a child, I didn't want to eat any dead animals.

Many vegetables have been brutally slaughtered to feed me since.

@SpellBounds

What cheese isn't vegetarian??

In the U.K., not that many mainstream, but a lot of specialty cheeses are or are not labels as vegetarian

@

@PinkWaferBiscuit

Surely you mean Vegan, all cheese is suitable for vegetarians.

Of course it's not!

MerryChristmas21

If you've not read the whole thread why would you comment?

If you read the whole blooming thread you will see I acknowledged my ignorance and apologised repeatedly several days ago.

@KirstenBlest what are my strange ideas? You can't know much about the industry if you don't have any idea about the basics of how it works.

Cows are repeatedly made pregnant and their babies taken away so their milk can be used for human consumption. This obviously causes a huge amount of phycological trauma for cows which are highly intelligent animals.

Then of course they are milked to abnormally high levels and pumped with antibiotics until they become exhausted and therefore less productive, so they are killed anyway.

@iloveredpandas, not all dairy farming is like you say.
I know plenty of farmers who never give their cows antibiotics unless the cows are ill, and cows usually aren't ill.

The cows and calves aren't distressed or wailing. Calves are weaned.

You have your opinion and I have mine. I do not wish to argue about it.

@KirstenBlest I don't want to argue either but you should be aware of the facts.

I've extensively looked into how to get cruelty free milk or dairy products and it's not possible because however nice the farmers are, they need to remove the babies from their mothers and take the milk themselves. That's just a fact and you should do your research if you believe otherwise, no what your farmer friends tell you.

@PinkWaferBiscuit

MerryChristmas21

If you've not read the whole thread why would you comment?

If you read the whole blooming thread you will see I acknowledged my ignorance and apologised repeatedly several days ago.

Because there's no way to flag piers you want to reply to later, so I reply as I come to them 💁🏻‍♀️ Wrong is wrong anyway.

Quick update. It's my birthday today and sure enough, I got another cheese box delivery from my lovely in laws. And (drum roll ....) all four cheeses were vegetarian and delicious! My DH had taken the advice from this thread and had the the rennet conversation with his parents. They'd had no idea that lots of cheese isn't veggie and didn't seem at all offended or put out by the chat.

That's great OP, and happy birthday for yesterday! I'm still amazed at how many people think all cheese is vegetarian and I'm a meat eater!