Non vegetarian cheese present for a vegetarian

[Neolara]

I've been veggie for over 30 years, married for nearly 20. My in laws are very nice. Recently, my in laws have taken to sending my a selection of cheese from posh cheese shops for my birthday and Xmas. The cheese is not cheap. Each box probably costs about £30 -£40 for 4 cheeses. However, usually most of the cheeses are not vegetarian so I haven't eaten them. This Xmas, my DH asked my in laws to make sure the cheese was vegetarian. A box of cheese has just arrived. It looks fantastic but again, only one of the four is veggie. I will only eat this one cheese. My DH will probably eat all the rest of the cheese.

So I haven't said anything to the in laws other than thank you very much because it seems incredibly rude to do anything else. But on the other hand, they think they are giving me a brilliant present but it's really not. I feel like they are wasting their money as I won't eat the vast majority of it. And from looking at the shops website, they could easily have bought veggie cheese. So not saying anything seems stupid.

So, YANBU - Of course you shouldn't say anything other than thank you very much. It's the thought that counts.
YABU -Of course you should tell your lovely in laws that if they buy you cheese it needs to be veggie cheese so they'll just keep wasting their money.

And yes, I totally appreciate this is a first world problem.

I've just looked at the Parmesan I have in the fridge. It doesn't say it contains rennet nor that it's unsuitable for vegetarians. The only cheese that does say it's vegetarian is the manchego but from reading this thread, hard cheese usually isn't.

The brie, cheddar, Edam and goats cheese doesn't say either way.

@Clymene

I've just looked at the Parmesan I have in the fridge. It doesn't say it contains rennet nor that it's unsuitable for vegetarians. The only cheese that does say it's vegetarian is the manchego but from reading this thread, hard cheese usually isn't.

The brie, cheddar, Edam and goats cheese doesn't say either way.

If it's called Parmesan then it's not vegetarian. It's only allowed to be called that if it's made in the traditional way.

Things don't usually highlight that they're not suitable for vegetarians, but do highlight when they are.

Yes, the default is currently that if it is suitable for vegetarians it will say so.

I know that @Ilovefluffysheep. My point was that the other cheeses (Edam, soft goat's cheese, Brie) are probably vegetarian (because they list the ingredients as milk) but they don't say so on the packaging. Some Brie isn't vegetarian and nor is some Edam. My Parmesan doesn't say it contains rennet but I know it does.

It's just not that helpful

According to wiki only 5% of cheese is made with animal rennet

@Piglet89

*I think a lot of people think fish aren’t animals”.

Fucking HELL.

Lovely little cafe in town I used to live had 'tuna' on their sandwich board as the vegetarian option. Every. single. day.

It being pointed out to them directly and on social media, but they carried on regardless.

They went under, although not related to reasons of stupidity.

That is literally the point of having words that mean things

Exactly

Unfortunately self-identifying seems to have the result of increasing 'flexibility' with word definitions

I hope words have meanings - or they will be adding the V sign to salami…

So if someone asked you specifically to be careful of something, you wouldn't try a bit harder than a '2 second Google' - maybe like looking at the food labelling?

In your example, I do look at the label and make sure by investigation if it’s allergy related. Most of my friends kids have some sort of allergy and I’ve not got it wrong yet. But for something that’s a choice, nope, I’d make assumptions and a 2 sec Google would be on a good day. Someone would be far better off saying they were allergic to animal rennet, then anything I would buy I would specifically check for animal rennet. Just saying ‘I’m vegetarian, I need vegetarian cheese’, is only ever going to produce a shoulder shrug and at best there won’t be Parmesan.

When I’m ordering for folks who are on a halal diet I ask the manufacturer if it’s not labelled as such (although on Amazon some things are tagged but definitely aren’t), or if I’m not sure.

That's good to know - though I think for me the courtesy would extend to preferences (especially if for moral/religious reasons)

I asked mainly because it struck me that your thought process may well be what happens with some people in our case - i.e. thinking it doesn't have bread/cereal in so will obviously be fine, rather than checking and finding the hidden ingredient (often barley malt, especially in chocolate).

Sorry - above to HoppingPavlova

This thread goes to show how many people assume all cheese is vegetarian. You should tell them, but maybe just say it was this last box and show them the veggie selection for next time.

Thought cheese was vegetarian tbh

[quote Willyoujustbequiet]@Shedmistress

I'll call myself what I want thanks. To me a veggie is someone who doesn't eat meat. It easily conveys to people around me that I don't eat meat. It gets the point across perfectly. I dont care if if you want to play a game of who is a better veggie - I like chocolate and cheese and will continue to enjoy them whilst everyone around me understands I'm a veggie lol.

This is how everyone in my neck of the woods approaches it. You dont get to own words.[/quote]
Fantastic.

I’m going to call myself a unicorn then.
You don’t own words.
Just because I’m not imaginary, not horse shaped and don’t have a horn doesn’t mean I’m not a unicorn.

@Clymene

I've just looked at the Parmesan I have in the fridge. It doesn't say it contains rennet nor that it's unsuitable for vegetarians. The only cheese that does say it's vegetarian is the manchego but from reading this thread, hard cheese usually isn't.

The brie, cheddar, Edam and goats cheese doesn't say either way.

We’ve got a lots of cheese in currently, Brie, Camembert, cheddars etc they all say suitable for vegetarians. Mixture of Sainsburys and Waitrose cheeses

I know for a fact part of the manufacturing process of Parmesan involves animal rennet so never use it, it won’t say contains animal rennet as the volume is small. But it’s what is used to curdle the milk to start the cheese making process.

This thread has demonstrated why your husband needs to be clear with his parents, as it would be very unlikely they would be aware that some cheeses are not suitable for vegetarians.

The same with wine, I'm allergic to fish and have to choose vegan wine in order to avoid those with animal products in them like fish and animal hooves.

Grasping at straws here, but is it possible some people don't think fish counts as meat because historically you would eat fish on Christian fasting days? Like on Fridays you wouldn't eat meat but you could eat fish.

Just trying to think of any reason people would not understand something so obvious.

@dreamingbohemian

Grasping at straws here, but is it possible some people don't think fish counts as meat because historically you would eat fish on Christian fasting days? Like on Fridays you wouldn't eat meat but you could eat fish.

Just trying to think of any reason people would not understand something so obvious.

No fish isn't meat but eating fish is still eating an animal isn't it? Vegetarians don't eat animals or things containing an ingredient that has been obtained from a dead animal such as the rennet in Parmesan.

Well yes I know fish is an animal : ) but just trying to figure out why there seems to be a fair number of people who don't understand fish isn't vegetarian

I wonder if their thinking goes like:

Vegetarians don't eat meat
Oh it's like that thing about not eating meat on Fridays
But you can eat fish on Fridays
So vegetarians can eat fish

(i.e. their understanding of vegetarian is not eating meat, instead of not eating anything animal)

Like I said, grasping at straws! It's just really weird.

As above most people who are not vegetarian do not understand about rennet. You really need to explain this to non vegetarians if you don't eat it, it's not common knowledge

This ^ Which the OP graciously acknowledged on P3, to be fair.

@dreamingbohemian

Grasping at straws here, but is it possible some people don't think fish counts as meat because historically you would eat fish on Christian fasting days? Like on Fridays you wouldn't eat meat but you could eat fish.

Just trying to think of any reason people would not understand something so obvious.

Alot of people want to be special without doing the legwork.

So they say they are vegetarian for attention, whilst eating anything they like. Thus pissing off everyone else.

I think they call them Narcs in common parlance. Or virtue signallers. Or just drama llamas.

I have several very close family members who are pescatarian. They all enjoy eating all types of cheese. I would have assumed that cheese was suitable for vegetarians.

@dreamingbohemian

Grasping at straws here, but is it possible some people don't think fish counts as meat because historically you would eat fish on Christian fasting days? Like on Fridays you wouldn't eat meat but you could eat fish.

Just trying to think of any reason people would not understand something so obvious.

Possibly. There are apparently some people who think vegetarians might eat chicken and other fowl, maybe they make a childishly daft distinction between mammals and other animals?

[quote Willyoujustbequiet]@Simonjt

I'm veggie and I eat any kind of cheese. I'm a veggie because I don't like meat. A lot of my friends are the same. A few call themselves veggies but eat fish.

I would consider anyone not wanting to eat tenner a vegan.[/quote]
Wow.

So you think a vegan is someone who eats cheese made with milk and objects to the use of animal rennet?

It isn’t.