DS wasted his christmas money

[katkitty]

Ds got a lot of nice presents and was given about 200 in cash from family for christmas which he deposited into his bank. I was hoping he'd spend it on a big in-person item that he's wanted for a while or save it but he has told us he's gone and spent it on virtual items on an online game that he's currently obssesed with. Whenever he gets a bit of money he spends it. He's had a lot growing up so it's not as if he's gone without. Typically these interests don't last and that's a lot of money to blow on something that doesn't even exist and I feel like I've failed as a parent that he thought it was an acceptable thing to do. I wouldn't mind if it was only some of it but it was the whole lot. I've always advised him it's not a good idea to spend so much money on these online games and I thought he understood. He's old enough to understand the value of money (he's a teenager). Maybe I'm being far fetched but I don't want him to grow up, waste all his income and still be living at home in his 30's. Is there a way to teach him a lesson (not a punishment)

This thread is fascinating.

Question OP if you still about!

If you had said. 200 eh. Mustn't waste. Spend on investment item instead.

Why not keep a bit for the game, and spend the bulk on a musical instrument or books.

Does he play an instrument?
Why is it an investment item? Not going to pick up one that will be sure to increase in value surely?
What is meant by investment in the context used here? I think it's different but no idea what means on here!

Books.
Again, what meant by investment thing?
As with instrument, not going to increase in value unless rare, 1st edition, v limited print run etc.
And if it was 70s say he would have spent the time he spends on games now, on books. And parents would likely have said. Too much, will ruin eyes, never go out, what about fresh air exercise etc...
He spends most of free time gaming.
What books should he get? That he doesn't actually want...?

Try to get him interested in investing. Worked for mine as it can become an obsession like gaming. He can open a stock account with for example interactive investors that he can manage on his phone. He could also use another app to project his net worth after investing for say 20, 30 or 40 years which is quite motivational!!

I got money for driving lessons at 17.

I didn't actually start driving lessons until I was 22.

I'm almost double that age now. No idea what I spent my driving lesson money on. But I've still got a skirt from when I was 17.

Idontwanna-

'By the last year we had 2 8h school days and the other 3 were 7h. Add in commute and the miles and miles of homework and we were knackered. We started at 7/8 am too, or if you were lucky to be in an afternoon group at 11/12 but that was the whole day gone. Weekend were for more homework (if you were that way inclined), SLEEP and actually spending time with friends .'

That's the thing, everyone's different! And the split between posters on here is a really clear demonstration of that!

The hours are unusual was that UK or FE college or similar? Was it on continent maybe I know loads of countries start earlier than us. Really interesting differences!

I can tell you what we did if you're interested?

Hours think 845- 4 ish. 5 days but think may have finished 3 or something Wednesdays. It was pretty much same for 6th form college and the two local schools 6th forms.

Vast majority travelled there and back by bus. London buses in rush hour! So so so slow. For me, 20 min to bus stop, variable wait say 10/ 15. Hour on bus fingers crossed! 15 walk other end. Um. 1hr 45? That's ridiculous! For the distance!

I did 4s levels so study workload etc not terribly light. Sciences maths.

Friday night out pub friends maybe club, Saturday job shop 830-530. Sat night out again. Sun sleep. When did I do work? I seem to remember we went pub after college Wednesdays as early finish. F maths handful in class we discussed and did maths homework. Sundays. Evenings. Lunch at friends house a lot we did maths together a lot. On bus I remember happening a lot!

I had the best time there, just in so many ways!

Everyone different. Area, norms, year even, availability jobs and for us if you wanted money to go out you got job so most did.

I'm enjoying reminiscing!

Thickasmincepie-

I have millions of happy memories 16-18.
Moved to 6th form. New friends, started going pub, clubs, meeting loads of people out, all teens went same pubs across large patch of London, same clubs, it was a friendly exciting, 'scene' (awful word!). Bumping into people had seen around, in Camden pub/ club, so much to do! All new to me. God it was just amazing. 30 years ago now... Best time of life tbh.

@CheeseMmmm

Idontwanna-

'By the last year we had 2 8h school days and the other 3 were 7h. Add in commute and the miles and miles of homework and we were knackered. We started at 7/8 am too, or if you were lucky to be in an afternoon group at 11/12 but that was the whole day gone. Weekend were for more homework (if you were that way inclined), SLEEP and actually spending time with friends .'

That's the thing, everyone's different! And the split between posters on here is a really clear demonstration of that!

The hours are unusual was that UK or FE college or similar? Was it on continent maybe I know loads of countries start earlier than us. Really interesting differences!

I can tell you what we did if you're interested?

Hours think 845- 4 ish. 5 days but think may have finished 3 or something Wednesdays. It was pretty much same for 6th form college and the two local schools 6th forms.

Vast majority travelled there and back by bus. London buses in rush hour! So so so slow. For me, 20 min to bus stop, variable wait say 10/ 15. Hour on bus fingers crossed! 15 walk other end. Um. 1hr 45? That's ridiculous! For the distance!

I did 4s levels so study workload etc not terribly light. Sciences maths.

Friday night out pub friends maybe club, Saturday job shop 830-530. Sat night out again. Sun sleep. When did I do work? I seem to remember we went pub after college Wednesdays as early finish. F maths handful in class we discussed and did maths homework. Sundays. Evenings. Lunch at friends house a lot we did maths together a lot. On bus I remember happening a lot!

I had the best time there, just in so many ways!

Everyone different. Area, norms, year even, availability jobs and for us if you wanted money to go out you got job so most did.

I'm enjoying reminiscing!

Yup on the continent. Never had a weekend job, still ended up with a good work ethic. Don't get me wrong we still had fun too, or did homework on the go. Just a completely different way of life and mentality. The really academic ,studious kids definitely needed the weekend times too. I had classmates that could recite entire text books of essays and literature analysis.

Most of us had the equivalent of child benefit starting at 14 as our allowance. At 14 you got your first ID and were able to cash in the money by yourself. First purchase was 3 hair mascara thingies. I was in heaven! Mum was furious.

Oh I didn't want a weekend job I mean really we all wanted a bit of cash!

Work ethic? Learn value of money (as loads on comments on thread say)?

Um... In general people would drag themselves in really hungover and just power through it!

Govt allowance? Awesome :D

Not like this across UK, have learnt over the years growing up this area in those days (16 in 1989) vvv not like that for stacks of people!

Sat job was just the norm. And there were lots about then. Local shops retail was pretty much what everyone who worked was doing.

I also think year relevant as my kids get waaayyyy more homework than we did, starting in primary school.

Kids secondary not 6th form yet.

I find it shocking tbh. Too much imo. But, just that's now and things move on.

The best thing about my sat job was I on till. And while there moved from typing in prices from sticker, to barcodes! Those pen type scanners.

I'm a sciency sci fi type and I loved it! So so clever!

All day every time I did my pen and it went beep read price etc. I was overjoyed!

Bit odd yes but I was vv happy at work!

At 17 I would expect some maturity.
You could for example have a sit down and teach him about saving for investing in the future and in his skills (eg driving lessons).
Typically the advice is to save a third, invest a third and spend a third.
The other thing you should do is to talk to him about how much does he think he would have to work in order to be paid £200.
I find that our generation’s reluctance to talk about money and finances is really detrimental.

You allowed a teenager to have 200 quid. What did you expect. If it was me at that age I'd have bought lots of alcohol and weed and travelled across the country without telling my parents. Teenagers are reckless and dumb.

Celest it was 200 from various family.

How could she not allow him to have it?

In fact, given its from however many relatives. I don't think it's anything to do with what mum wants.

What would auntie have wanted him to spend 30 on, granny 50 etc etc.

Most I bet would say, if asked, whatever he wants.
That's why teens often get cash isn't it? So they can get what they want. Rather than having to ask for I dunno book token because obv not going to ask uncle Tim for weapons and ammo pack with the new targeting features, for demon level land marauder available from BOMB! where need to create a account to pay... Etc.

@CelestiaNoctis

You allowed a teenager to have 200 quid. What did you expect. If it was me at that age I'd have bought lots of alcohol and weed and travelled across the country without telling my parents. Teenagers are reckless and dumb.

My 17 year old nephew earns more than that every single week. Why on earth would you not allow them money, especially that given as a gift by others?

@CelestiaNoctis

You allowed a teenager to have 200 quid. What did you expect. If it was me at that age I'd have bought lots of alcohol and weed and travelled across the country without telling my parents. Teenagers are reckless and dumb.

Thankfully not all teenagers were like you. I worked full time at 17 and didn't drug or do drugs.

[quote Etherealhedgehog]@cruffin hahahahaha that's really brightened up my otherwise grumpy morning. Right up there with 'millenials should just stop eating avocado and then they'd all have houses.' So were you getting thousands for Christmas and birthdays or are you many decades older than OP's son (and me)?[/quote]
I know, me too! I'm just trying to work out the maths, I guess 1000 a year on Christmas and birthday money from birth might have given about 20k deposit (bit more with interest.) That's a shed load of Christmas money, especially going back twenty years.

Thanks for this. Yes I have a bank account for my kids. I also have an xh and am worried that he would get his hands on it.

Only idiots don't know that gambling is for fools, and only gambling companies win that 9ne - I would hope he has learned the hard way now, but you might be advised to point all this out to him, and let him know that you won't fund any more betting so if he has lots of money to spare in future he needs to pay his way, buy his own clothes, shoes, food etc rather than throwing it down the drain
Gambling is a tax on stupidity

He spent items to enhance a video game, not gambling?!

@Bertiebiscuit

Only idiots don't know that gambling is for fools, and only gambling companies win that 9ne - I would hope he has learned the hard way now, but you might be advised to point all this out to him, and let him know that you won't fund any more betting so if he has lots of money to spare in future he needs to pay his way, buy his own clothes, shoes, food etc rather than throwing it down the drain Gambling is a tax on stupidity

It is gambling, it's gaming. Quite different.

@CheeseMmmm

This thread is fascinating.

Question OP if you still about!

If you had said. 200 eh. Mustn't waste. Spend on investment item instead.

Why not keep a bit for the game, and spend the bulk on a musical instrument or books.

Does he play an instrument?
Why is it an investment item? Not going to pick up one that will be sure to increase in value surely?
What is meant by investment in the context used here? I think it's different but no idea what means on here!

Books.
Again, what meant by investment thing?
As with instrument, not going to increase in value unless rare, 1st edition, v limited print run etc.
And if it was 70s say he would have spent the time he spends on games now, on books. And parents would likely have said. Too much, will ruin eyes, never go out, what about fresh air exercise etc...
He spends most of free time gaming.
What books should he get? That he doesn't actually want...?

You can invest during gaming. My 14yo does. You can buy a skin or a rare tool and then sell it on for many times more just a short time later.

I am getting the distinct impression that very few of the highly opinionated posters in here have a clue how gaming actually works.

It is disappointing when an almost grown man acts like 10yo who still thinks that money grow on trees. Upside is that he didn't spend it on weed.

@Bertiebiscuit

Only idiots don't know that gambling is for fools, and only gambling companies win that 9ne - I would hope he has learned the hard way now, but you might be advised to point all this out to him, and let him know that you won't fund any more betting so if he has lots of money to spare in future he needs to pay his way, buy his own clothes, shoes, food etc rather than throwing it down the drain Gambling is a tax on stupidity

What's gambling have to do with gaming? Unless you are talking about loot/mystery boxes, but OP hasn't said that that's what the money was spent on.

@CatsArePeople

It is disappointing when an almost grown man acts like 10yo who still thinks that money grow on trees. Upside is that he didn't spend it on weed.

Why do you say that? Have you ever spent £200 on something you really enjoy doing? I have. Why begrudge this boy the same joy? Why is it a waste?

@Harmonypuss you sound like an awesome mum!! Well done! I'm sure things were very difficult at times but without a doubt your son appreciated what you done for him!!

Why do you say that? Have you ever spent £200 on something you really enjoy doing? I have. Why begrudge this boy the same joy? Why is it a waste?

Depends if £200 is something you would blow on a single bottle of wine, then yeah, some videogame skins are nothing.
But then I'm not rich. I'd expect more of that sum and a 17yo.

He didn't waste his money.

He spent money given to him for Christmas to get something he wanted.

He spent it on experience rather than stuff.

Concert tickets, cinema membership, holiday are just as much a fun experience as online gaming is.

The virtual world will be part of the future for teenagers, after we're gone. It's a different mindset.

And the stuff you'd have spent it on for yourself is just as incomprehensible to a teenage boy.