Page 10 | DS wasted his christmas money

Leedsfan247 · 30/12/2021 17:42

Yep, don’t bail him out when his friends want to go out and he doesn’t have the money to join them.
Don’t buy anything that he doesn’t actually need and teach him the value of money.

LovelyIssues · 30/12/2021 17:45

Hmm at 17 I would say it is a very silly amount to spend on an online game and I'd be upset too OP.

Elvisismycat · 30/12/2021 17:48

BTW when I was 17 it was 1987 and I was full on into the "rave" scene. If I had 200 quid it would've gone on shit loads of 'E's' , money for transport to get us to the warehouse or field raves and any change left was for mogadons to help us sleep for 2 days after!!! Now, I'm 52 and live in a very niace London postcode and deemed successful in my career...
I think your son will be ok.

Mandyjack · 30/12/2021 17:50

At 17 he could get a part time job and pay for his own trainers etc if he wants some.

liveforsummer · 30/12/2021 17:50

And imo it's better than spending money on material possessions which inevitably end up in landfills.

I agree. Dd wants 'star rider' status for her star stable game for her birthday. She changed her mind from a particular Lego set and at first I said no way. Then I thought about it. It's her favourite game and she plays it whenever she's allowed laptop time. I can't see her losing interest in the game in the next year at least. The Lego model will get made once for a couple of hours enjoyment then go in the big box with all the rest of the Lego that occasionally gets played with but less often these days. I've never been one for money for games and always say no to robux etc but logically she's going to get way more hours of enjoyment out of the game than the Lego or anything else she might ask for as a substitute so i changed my mind and said yes.

TractorAndHeadphones · 30/12/2021 17:52

He’s 17, let him be. As long as you don’t bail him out as a young adult he’ll learn fast enough. He hasn’t spent on anything dangerous

Ahhh to be a teen again (although I had to grow up quicker than most), you won’t get the time back

angela99999 · 30/12/2021 17:56

@katkitty

Ds got a lot of nice presents and was given about 200 in cash from family for christmas which he deposited into his bank. I was hoping he'd spend it on a big in-person item that he's wanted for a while or save it but he has told us he's gone and spent it on virtual items on an online game that he's currently obssesed with. Whenever he gets a bit of money he spends it. He's had a lot growing up so it's not as if he's gone without. Typically these interests don't last and that's a lot of money to blow on something that doesn't even exist and I feel like I've failed as a parent that he thought it was an acceptable thing to do. I wouldn't mind if it was only some of it but it was the whole lot. I've always advised him it's not a good idea to spend so much money on these online games and I thought he understood. He's old enough to understand the value of money (he's a teenager). Maybe I'm being far fetched but I don't want him to grow up, waste all his income and still be living at home in his 30's. Is there a way to teach him a lesson (not a punishment)

DD (46) does this. To be fair she now has mental health problems and lives on benefit, but it has always driven me mad. She never has money for food or emergencies and I try to limit what I give her but it is hard.

mumoftinyterrors · 30/12/2021 17:57

My 13 year old son spent £200 in less than an hour on online game loot boxes on Xmas day. I despair 🤦🏼‍♀️

Zwellers · 30/12/2021 17:59

Hos money, his choice to spend it. Just don't loan him money for anything else.

pradavilla · 30/12/2021 18:10

I was going to say well take his cash off him in future and give him £20 to spend on rubbish anything else has to get approval. BUT he's 17! I'd maybe ask family to send gift vouchers next time. I'd be really annoyed too surely at 17 he shld understand the value of money to some degree though.

TractorAndHeadphones · 30/12/2021 18:15

[quote Kanaloa]@sweetbellyhigh

I understand what you’re saying exactly. I just disagree.

I’m not a fan of the ‘video games are educational! They can lead to jobs in IT.’

I think it’s a lazy way to overlook the fact that all too often gaming isn’t beneficial. It should be moderated and limited like any activity to allow for proper balance.

And these ‘careers’ in computing and tech aren’t built by spending hundreds of pounds on fifa and Roblox. These people have generally been to uni and have degrees in video game development along with interests in areas like coding. These skills aren’t developed spending money on or extensively playing video games.[/quote]
Video games are what sparked a passion for computers (and general tech fiddling around) for many people in IT, somewhat for myself too.

There are many different types of games. There’s nothing inherently ‘less beneficial’ about video games compared to playing an instrument , crocheting or chess.

Some games are addictive yes and moderation is important (any other hobby would also be bad if all consuming) but as a class there’s nothing bad about video games compared to say smoking.

TractorAndHeadphones · 30/12/2021 18:16

Also to add plenty of teenagers at that age would blow their money away on useless crap. As a pp mentioned clothes, shoes, alcohol.
Nothing ‘worse’ in video games

ListeningButNotHearing · 30/12/2021 18:18

What a complete waste of money.

Hopefully he will learn from this - i.e. when he can't afford to go out or desperately wants a brand-new pair of expensive trainers etc.

ldontWanna · 30/12/2021 18:19

@pradavilla

I was going to say well take his cash off him in future and give him £20 to spend on rubbish anything else has to get approval. BUT he's 17! I'd maybe ask family to send gift vouchers next time. I'd be really annoyed too surely at 17 he shld understand the value of money to some degree though.

How do you know he doesn't understand the value of money? Because he spent it on something "wasteful "? Because he spent it too quickly? Because there's nothing physical to show for it?

Kanaloa · 30/12/2021 18:26

*Video games are what sparked a passion for computers (and general tech fiddling around) for many people in IT, somewhat for myself too.

There are many different types of games. There’s nothing inherently ‘less beneficial’ about video games compared to playing an instrument , crocheting or chess.

Some games are addictive yes and moderation is important (any other hobby would also be bad if all consuming) but as a class there’s nothing bad about video games compared to say smoking.*

I didn’t say there was anything inherently bad about video games.

I said I don’t see how spending £200 in two days is beneficial in any way and I don’t agree that it develops skills or leads to careers in any way. For some people playing games might spark an interest in coding or computing but spending lots of money very quickly doesn’t advance those skills or help you in a computing career.

And I also wouldn’t be happy with £200 being spent on playing chess over two days. But again it’s a redundant argument because you would simply never spend £200 playing chess or crocheting. As for an instrument, £200 would get you more than two piano lessons. You can be graded and put it on UCAS applications etc, and the money would go a lot further. As it is, he has nothing to show for that money. It’s not like he spent it on coding classes, he spent it in a game. Fantastic if it has sparked an interest in computing or tech but I presume op would have mentioned if that was the case.

fetchacloth · 30/12/2021 18:29

At 17 I think your DS is still too young to be thinking about the 'investment' type purchases that you've mentioned. However I do think he's old enough to make up his own mind how to spend money that has been gifted to him.
Maybe to appreciate the value of money some more, he should perhaps 'earn' it in the form of helping out with chores around the home and garden. He could also consider getting a part time job for a few hours a week to appreciate the value of money and gain the work ethic which is vital for anyone of that age group.

AffableApple · 30/12/2021 18:36

@cruffin

Does he have a separate savings account? I disagree with people saying it's his money. My parents really encouraged us to save Christmas and birthday money and because of that my sister and I both managed to buy property in London in our 20s.

OK, Boomer

AngelinaFibres · 30/12/2021 18:43

Dear God were none of you young once. I used to love getting Christmas money and spending it on clothes in Chelsea Girl or dreadful shoes in Dolcis.I look back on it with fond memories. My sons bought computer games and spent hours on end playing them. They have masters degrees from Russell group universities, houses and one has a baby on the way. If you can't be silly (in adult eyes) when you are 17 then when can you be.

thetinsoldier · 30/12/2021 18:45

I'd expect a 17yo to be better with money. My 17yo saves half of all bday and Xmas money, plus anything she earns.

Does he have a job? How much allowance do you give him? What does he have to pay for himself?

I'd start involved in his finances to prepare him for uni and life after school...

thetinsoldier · 30/12/2021 18:46

I'd never spend that on me, so that's my yardstick, I suppose. Also - virtual things! Not real things like books, clothes, a game console, an experience...

Scottsy100 · 30/12/2021 18:54

When my son gets money we will usually agree together that he can spend x amount on the game and save the rest or buy something else with it

pinkpantherpink · 30/12/2021 19:03

Hope that he will learn from this. Was there something he was hankering after that he might have spent the money on? I guess in my day people ran up huge phone bills. You can't do owt about it but I understand your disappointment

Next time he asks for something, pricey trainers etc. Make sure he knows he needs to save for them

Newschapter · 30/12/2021 19:06

My ds would have done the same when he was younger. Money given to him meant very little, it was for spending on something he wanted.

But now he's older and earning his own money working daily, he doesn't waste a penny! He even has a savings account where he's putting money past for a car.

He'll grow out it..

umpahlumpahstickitupyourjumpah · 30/12/2021 19:07

@allycat4 😂😂😂😂

Mollymoostoo · 30/12/2021 19:12

Mine was like this till he went to uni and had to pay for everything himself.
Amazing how little he spends now.