Only Pandora

[thetagrunburg]

Just after some opinions here as I don't know if IABU or DH is

Been with DH around 5 years, during that time whenever he's bought me any jewellery (which is not that often) it's always been from Pandora.
He's mentioned a few times he's only ever bought jewellery from there for gifts as he thinks it's decent quality so never goes anywhere else
He's bought me a few Pandora charms over the time we've been together. I have a silver charm bracelet which was bought for me ages ago which I never wear but despite me politely mentioning that I don't really wear it he still seems to buy me charms for it for Xmas and birthdays. The charms are usually thoughtful and have some kind of meaning so that in itself is a sweet gesture I suppose.

In general I prefer to wear gold jewellery (not necessarily real gold, I'm not fussy!) and I have told him this a few times.
He asked me a few weeks before Xmas what I wanted for Xmas and I mentioned a gold chain I'd seen which I really liked (not Pandora!) - nothing super fancy, under £75 so not overly pricey. I showed him the website and the chain and he said he'd 'see what he could do'
Xmas day comes and I open my gift.... a silver Pandora necklace

It's a nice necklace, but just not what I wanted. Am I being a diva here?

I reacted with a 'oh it's lovely thank you' as I didn't want to sound like a bitch but at the same time I'm kind of pissed off that he won't stray from frickin Pandora and doesn't listen to me!

I know I can go out and buy my own gold chain and I probably will but then I think he'll be hurt if I wear that instead of the one he's bought me! What do I do?!

YABU = shut up and wear the silver Pandora
YANBU = go get the gold one and tell him straight

YANBU
return it to Pandora if possible. What a twat! Pandora is a specific style which not everyone likes.

He’s just not listening is he?

You could just tell him that you don’t wear silver. Then at least you’ll get gold Pandora stuff

I'm sorry but you need to return it give his the voucher and say please buy for your mum/sister/secretary but not fir me. I've tried really hard to tell you I don't like it but you persist in ignoring me and I just don't like it.

Pandora is cheap ass crap marketed very well. You dh is evidence of this.

Return it. Pandora is tacky n overpriced anyway.

Thank you! I thought perhaps I was being a cow but I'm glad it's not just me feeling a bit miffed. I just feel a bit mean

Regift it to him given he's that fond of it and buy your own gold necklace.

You need to return it and get something you like. You also need to be really clear that you prefer gold. You need to be direct and next time an occasion comes up say 'I would like some jewellery but have gone off Pandora. I have also decided I don't want silver anymore'.
If he then buys it again; he is an idiot and I would be telling him so.

Pandora is absolutely marketed at men so they don’t have to think at any birthdays , anniversaries, Mother’s Day etc, just buy an over priced trinket which looks thoughtful but isn’t (a shoe, a coffee cup).

Tell him he’s rumbled and needs to do better.

The Pandora-haters will be here any minute now to sneer!

In the interests of full disclosure, i have a silver Pandora necklace, and my DP likes buying me the charms for my bracelet (they are meaningful to us, so noone else's opinion matters!). Pandora stuff can be nice. However, you specifically asked for something different, and your DH completely ignored your request and bought something you didn't want. I wouldn't be making a huge song and dance about it, but I WOULD be returning the Pandora necklace and getting the necklace you actually wanted.

Jewellery is a bit of a trigger for me - my exH never bought me any, but I really love it, so I bought my own stuff for years, and now my DP likes buying me pieces. He isn't rich or sophisticated, so Pandora works for him, and because it works for him, it works for me. I dont like the rings, though! Tacksville!

You need to have a conversation with him along the lines of…’you asked me what I wanted, and I said this gold necklace but you bought me a silver one from Pandora. I don’t like Pandora stuff. Why did you do that?’

What did you get him? Was it what he asked for? I would liken it to that situation if you can, eg he asks you for a black North Face coat so you buy him a white Superdry one. Ask if it would bother him? If he claims not, then I would have some fun with future present buying!

Return it and get something you want.

He is for some odd reason just completely ignoring your requests.

Yanbu. Tell him it's not what you asked for and return it. If you don't speak up now you'll get the same next Christmas!

Shove it in the drawer and buy your own necklace and wear it often

The Pandora-haters will be here any minute now to sneer!

🙋🏼‍♀️ signing in!

Return it op, get something you want!

Pandora is seriously overpriced, and I say that as a silver loving person who would much rather wear silver than gold (am am allergic to anything else!).

For the weight of silver the price in Pandora is terrible. I admit they have a good PR team though!
Jewellery from a proper silversmiths is much nicer and much better quality.
YANBU to get what you specifically asked for on HIS request!

He's not really thoughtful though, is he?

It takes him less than 2 minutes in Pandora to choose a charm that seems 'meaningful' in some tenuous way.

I wish I could find the meme that's been doing the rounds on Instagram and Twitter, basically Pandora has a queue of men outside on Christmas Eve buying gifts, and a queue of women outside after Boxing Day returning their gifts.

Return the necklace, and tell him why.

@Theunamedcat

Shove it in the drawer and buy your own necklace and wear it often

This doesn't solve the problem though does it? He will give her silver Pandora stuff again next year, and the year after, and the year after.

I bet you got him what he wanted/asked for, didn't you? He should show you the same courtesy.

YANBU to be miffed OP. You asked for a specific thing and he ignored you. I'd recommend following Howshouldibehave's advice about the conversation you have with him.

I don't hate Pandora - just not my thing - if people love it - fantastic. DH once bought me a present which was - shall we say - not what I wanted - I told him I was going to return it but thanked him for the thought - 25 years on he tends to ask and still all lovely.

Christmas Eve is their biggest selling day from men buying loads, biggest returns day is when they open after Christmas according to my mate that worked next door to one for years.

Yanbu. Get yourself the necklace you want.

Tell him you you did your skin tone assessment and from now on will be wearing gold not silver so will have to take back the Pandora and get something else (tell him you don't like the colour gold they use).

Make a joke of it "haha do you know someone who works at Pandora who gives you a discount!?" And go from there. You need to let him know you're upset that he is not listening as you said you liked gold. And also make clear you don't like Pandora jewellery.

I would just literally say "thanks again for that necklace, have you got the gift receipt? I want to change it for a gold one".

Pandora is cheap costume jewellery with excellent marketing. OK if you like it but it's not fine jewellery by any means.

Ask for the receipt and get the money back.

@TooWicked - Yes I saw that one too. It's going around all the jewellery makers I know!