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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Only Pandora

127 replies

thetagrunburg · 29/12/2021 17:56

Just after some opinions here as I don't know if IABU or DH is

Been with DH around 5 years, during that time whenever he's bought me any jewellery (which is not that often) it's always been from Pandora.
He's mentioned a few times he's only ever bought jewellery from there for gifts as he thinks it's decent quality so never goes anywhere else Hmm
He's bought me a few Pandora charms over the time we've been together. I have a silver charm bracelet which was bought for me ages ago which I never wear but despite me politely mentioning that I don't really wear it he still seems to buy me charms for it for Xmas and birthdays. The charms are usually thoughtful and have some kind of meaning so that in itself is a sweet gesture I suppose.

In general I prefer to wear gold jewellery (not necessarily real gold, I'm not fussy!) and I have told him this a few times.
He asked me a few weeks before Xmas what I wanted for Xmas and I mentioned a gold chain I'd seen which I really liked (not Pandora!) - nothing super fancy, under £75 so not overly pricey. I showed him the website and the chain and he said he'd 'see what he could do'
Xmas day comes and I open my gift.... a silver Pandora necklace Confused

It's a nice necklace, but just not what I wanted. Am I being a diva here?

I reacted with a 'oh it's lovely thank you' as I didn't want to sound like a bitch but at the same time I'm kind of pissed off that he won't stray from frickin Pandora and doesn't listen to me!

I know I can go out and buy my own gold chain and I probably will but then I think he'll be hurt if I wear that instead of the one he's bought me! What do I do?!

YABU = shut up and wear the silver Pandora
YANBU = go get the gold one and tell him straight

OP posts:
lesenfantsdelesperance · 29/12/2021 18:29

It doesn't matter whether we all love or hate Pandora. Personally, I'm not a fan, but the point is it's not your taste, so he should stop going there for your presents. Perhaps returning the necklace will get the message home.

BridStar · 29/12/2021 18:31

Pandora has become a byword for lazy men who can't be bothered to buy proper gifts. It's a complete joke, trashy and classless.

Join the queue of women returning charms and definitely consider a No Jewelry rule.

OhThatChicken · 29/12/2021 18:31

I'm literally sitting here wearing my Pandora charm DH got the children to give me for Christmas but despite that I'd say return it and swap it for something you like in gold. If you can't get it there get a credit note and buy your own necklace.

TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 18:33

It really doesn't matter if anyone likes it or not. OP doesn't want the necklace and her DP doesn't listen to her.

HideousKinky · 29/12/2021 18:35

OP this has reminded me of a Saturday Night Live sketch about a husband who keeps buying Pandora charms for his wife....

I'll try to do a link

BeLessMe · 29/12/2021 18:39
Grin
User2638483 · 29/12/2021 18:39

I’d be miffed too.
It’s thoughtless and lazy and he’s not listening

I have felt similar in the past when dh has bought me costly presents that are very generic and just not me.
In my case it made me feel sad that after 15 years together he still didn’t ‘see me’ or know me.
Now I just make sure I’m really specific.
You were very specific and he still didn’t get it.
Unless he wants to have an element of surprise in which case you could try again giving him specific guidelines but not an actual specific necklace.

BeLessMe · 29/12/2021 18:39

Ahh I see you’ve also seen it kinky lol

MargotsBumpyNight · 29/12/2021 18:39

'Oh dear, I've come out in a rash from the pandora jewellery, I can only wear quality gold from now on, like in that link I sent you'

Notwithittoday · 29/12/2021 18:43

My DH bought it a lot in the beginning of our relationship but I have told him I don’t want more and he seems to have taken it on board. Yours isn’t listening. Annoying

Only Pandora
Littlewhiteballs · 29/12/2021 18:44

So that's why there's a queue outside Pandora every Christmas eve. Feckless men on their way to disregard their wife's wishes.

PriamFarrl · 29/12/2021 18:46

Just tell him straight. He’s clearly not getting any subtle hints.
There is no need to be unkind but you can just tell him. ‘You know the Pandora necklace you got me? It was such a lovely thought but I really don’t like Pandora. There is no point spending that much money on something I won’t wear. Can we return it and then you help me chose something else that I do like.’

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 29/12/2021 18:47

It's the not listening isn't it? Dh once got me a huge bar of Galaxy. Never ever seen me eat it in 8 years. He huffed I was ungrateful as he thought I might like it.
Other added issues saw us split soon after.

Corneliusmurphy · 29/12/2021 18:49

The Pandora necklace is a red herring - the problem is that he’s not listening, you asked for x he bought y. Does your taste/opinion not matter?

He’s clearly just buying for the sake of it as well because anyone paying attention would have noticed you never wear the stuff.

Ask for the receipt. You will need to be blunt because of the whole not listening thing.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/12/2021 18:50

I knew the snobs would be out in force as soon as Pandora was mentioned! Why do people have to be so rude? 'It's a complete joke, trashy and classless'. It's fine not to like it but why be so nasty? I don't like gold jewellery (apart from a set made from DM's jewellery and even then I wish it wasn't yellow gold) but I wouldn't dream of saying to anyone that their jewellery was horrible.

Saying that, I do get where the OP is coming from and wouldn't be happy if DH kept buying something I'd specifically said I didn't like. I would ask for the gift receipt for the latest present and see if you can get a refund. Good luck

Blossomandbee · 29/12/2021 18:55

It's lazy buying, but maybe it's because he doesn't know what he's buying with jewellery so it's a safe option? Tell him straight you prefer gold and tell him exactly why you like, no hinting.
I have a couple of Pandora pieces I was bought as presents and I disagree that the quality is poor, but i think you either like it or you don't and you need to be clear it's not to your taste.

BashfulClam · 29/12/2021 18:57

He got ripped off as most stuff is on sale 50% difference. I have told DH never to buy me jewellery, bags or clothes before Christmas.

girlmom21 · 29/12/2021 18:57

OP Pandora even do gold bracelets and charms. He's lazy and cheap.

Cakecakecheese · 29/12/2021 18:58

As someone pointed out you probably bought him something thoughtful that he actually wants whereas he ignores you and just grabs something from a shop he knows.

Tell him you don't like it and he has to start listening to you otherwise he'll get Old Spice for every birthday and Christmas.

Thewiseoneincognito · 29/12/2021 18:59

Isn’t Pandora kids play jewellery anyway? Tell him it’s junk jewellery and you want diamonds or a divorce- get him to Boodles.

BashfulClam · 29/12/2021 19:03

I bet a Pandora loving woman has told him in the past that it’s good quality and that’s stuck with him.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 29/12/2021 19:06

Kids play jewellery? And get him to Boodles? Really?

BoredZelda · 29/12/2021 19:07

I reacted with a 'oh it's lovely thank you'

Why?

My husband bought me the wrong type of a gift I had asked for. My reaction was “okaaaaay?” and he said they didn’t have your usual one but I saw you’d used this before so I got this one at the moment and will get the other one in the new year if this is no good. If I had said “oh lovely thank you” He’d have assumed it was fine, and I’d have had to go one buy what I needed myself.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/12/2021 19:12

@Thewiseoneincognito

Isn’t Pandora kids play jewellery anyway? Tell him it’s junk jewellery and you want diamonds or a divorce- get him to Boodles.
Do you have any idea how greedy and grasping that sounds? A divorce sounds like it would be a result for him!
time2tork · 29/12/2021 19:14

Yes return it.

Introduce yourself to moissanite in platinum.

It's affordable and more sparkly than diamonds!

Also extremely resistant so suitable for every day wear.