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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

399 replies

DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:34

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

OP posts:
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 27/12/2021 19:52

@pilates

What a depressing thread.

If you are going to host do it graciously or not at all.

Plus get your husband and children on board to help out so you’re not doing everything and next time don’t invite them so bloody early.

All of this.
beenthereboughtthetshirt · 27/12/2021 19:53

@shenanigans5

Pink felt-tip to a lateral flow test and a few fake coughs would be my approach. I absolutely love FOH (fuck off home) time when we have guests.
@shenanigans5 that wouldn't work. OP has already said her ILs think covid is a hoax
BellaChagall · 27/12/2021 19:54

Horrible. Just horrible.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 19:58

@BellaChagall

Horrible. Just horrible.
Ah. So you've been chatting to my in laws too??
OP posts:
BlackCatz · 27/12/2021 20:00

@FuckeryIsAfoot

A whole five hours, fuck me - the rudeness of it!

How were they meant to know they were expected to leave as soon as they'd swallowed their dinner?

saraclara · 27/12/2021 20:02

I think you're getting harsh replies here OP - has no one read the posts where she says she was prepping dinner by 8am, did all the hosting and serving, all the tidying up associated with dinner and getting several rounds of drinks etc and that her husband has done none of that when its his family they're hosting!?

That's not her in-laws fault though, is it? OP had had 25 years to get her DH to do his share, but she chooses to take this on herself.

It's Christmas and five or six hours is not outstaying your welcome as a parent.
Equally it is (or was) absolutely fine for OP to have her bath or otherwise find space for herself while their son entertained them.

Wimblingwombling · 27/12/2021 20:04

It was 4.30! Hardly unreasonable. Annoying you have to run around after them though. Next time make it clear everyone can fill up their own drinks etc

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/12/2021 20:04

Someone I know used to get her dh to come down in his pyjamas and say he was knackered and off to bed.

Maybe you’d both have to do it, if they’re particularly thick skinned though.

foxgoosefinch · 27/12/2021 20:09

Is there any particular reason why the in-laws shouldn't themselves say "you've made us such a lovely lunch, DIL, now you sit down and rest for a bit, we'll go and make some tea and bring out some cakes we've brought with us, if that's okay. Who's for tea?"

No...? Or is it part of the whole 1970s thing that the in-laws can't possibly take a step into the kitchen, but must be "hosted" like they're appearing in a low rent production of Abigail's Party?

Munchyseeds · 27/12/2021 20:11

Reading things like this make me sad and a bit scared for my future....after all most of us will be in laws!

Flobbertybillop · 27/12/2021 20:14

Op, you sound absolutely hilarious, and there’s a lot of judgey smug pricks on here.
Top up that wine and enjoy :)

Hyppogriff · 27/12/2021 20:15

Also you’d be 2 hours into your bath… how long are your baths?!!!

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 20:20

@Hyppogriff

Also you’d be 2 hours into your bath… how long are your baths?!!!
Settling in nicely thanks Grin
OP posts:
BringMeTea · 27/12/2021 20:20

You sound right up my street OP. Get rid of the rednecks. 5 hours is plenty time for listening to their shit. Have another glass! Wine

BlackCatz · 27/12/2021 20:27

@Flobbertybillop

Op, you sound absolutely hilarious, and there’s a lot of judgey smug pricks on here. Top up that wine and enjoy :)
Smug about what? Lmao.
Meraas · 27/12/2021 20:27

Funny how so many women on MN still get angry when a woman, despite cooking and hosting all day, expresses needs of her own after a long day.

Are they really so steeped in misogyny that they expect the woman to devote herself entirely to her family?

Notmoresugar · 27/12/2021 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Double3xposure · 27/12/2021 20:30

@Meraas

Funny how so many women on MN still get angry when a woman, despite cooking and hosting all day, expresses needs of her own after a long day.

Are they really so steeped in misogyny that they expect the woman to devote herself entirely to her family?

No they are so steeped in misogyny that they except her to devote herself entirely to her husband’s family so that he can relax and chat.
Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 20:32

@Notmoresugar

I'd rather be subjected to the in-laws instead of being in your bath with its disgusting dirty overflow.
Yes. I should probably be cleaning and not relaxing. My bad.
OP posts:
Meraas · 27/12/2021 20:33

@Notmoresugar

I'd rather be subjected to the in-laws instead of being in your bath with its disgusting dirty overflow.
What is going on in your life to make you so nasty to a stranger, who has done nothing more than cook and host herin laws all day?
foxgoosefinch · 27/12/2021 20:34

@Notmoresugar

I'd rather be subjected to the in-laws instead of being in your bath with its disgusting dirty overflow.
Oh my!

Get scrubbing, OP. A woman's work is never done. How dare you take a bath when there is some domestic drudgery for you to do that other women are policing your womanhood about? Grin

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 20:36

@Notmoresugar

I'd rather be subjected to the in-laws instead of being in your bath with its disgusting dirty overflow.
Also. No offence but I don't share my bath with anyone.
OP posts:
FuckeryIsAfoot · 27/12/2021 20:38

@Notmoresugar

I'd rather be subjected to the in-laws instead of being in your bath with its disgusting dirty overflow.
And I would rather lick that dirty overflow than spend a single minute of my time with you. So, you know.
MrsHGWells · 27/12/2021 20:39

YABU, it is Christmas. On these occasions you need to plan a late supper spread with port, cheese and a few mince pies or grazing platter to let the inlaws fend for themselves with DH whilst your chill in the bath or with a wine etc. This is more about your expectations and ideals of Christmas.

Tumbleweed101 · 27/12/2021 20:39

One day we might all be the 'inlaws'. I wouldn't care if my sons partner wanted to go and have a bath. Would give me more time to talk to my son in private.