Mil hit the dog

[LilyTheMink]

We have a 1 year old medium sized dog. He isn't badly behaved and doesn't normally jump up. When MIL arrived for Xmas, he was a little excited - but honestly nothing hyperactive at all.
He jumped around when MIL was hugging my daughter and I told him to get down. I turned my back and he must have done it again as suddenly he was sneezing and shaking his head. This is what he does when he's knocked his nose on something eg. the coffee table.
The kids told me that MIL had hit him.
I wasn't sure what to do and spend the rest of the time keeping him out of her way - although to be honest he did that himself anyway.
She's been horrible to our pets before - once flicking our 3 month off kitten off the table like he was a breadcrumb.
DH has just grown a spine and spoken to her about another ussue - she told our 10 yo DD she was "selfish and didn't think about other people" because she didn't want to wear the Xmas jumper DH had bought her. (This was said in private, but DD luckily told me as she was upset by it).
Wibu to tell her she's not welcome to ever come back if she shows aggression to our pets again, or speaks badly to our kids?

this is so bloody weird. Honestly if my dog jumped at ANYONE id forgive them a smacking it away - within reason. Its not how you train a dog, but if the dog is pissing someone off then what happens is my fault. I would just tell your husbands mother, please, if the dog jumps, dont hit him, it makes it worse, we make him sit till he gets any attention, or whatever. No need to react to his mother as if shes just come in and beat the kids. She is not thinking of your pet as your family like you do, she thinks its just an animal thats freaking her out

[quote MyOtherCarIsAPorsche]@jellybutton1

Thank you - you sound like a great, responsible and respectful dog owner. Animals deserve no less.

I always ask for permission to approach a dog - I have no qualms about appreciating well behaved and well looked after pets.

The saying that dogs resemble their owners goes for behaviour too.

[/quote]
Thank you. And I really appreciate folks who respect dogs personal space as well. I actually have far more issues with this, than I do with my dogs giving people their personal space.

Dogs are easy to train. People, not so much. And I'm afraid to say there's an awful lot of pandering these days where people treat dogs like humans. You don't need to hit a human or animal to get it to behave, but you do need to be consistent and absolutely firm each time for complete 'no-go' behaviours. People saying their visitors can do one if they don't like their dogs jumping up? Just ridiculous.

I'm wary of strange dogs for good reason. I don't want them jumping up at me - it frightens me. I say that as a dog owner. Difference is, I know my dogs. My dogs are large and will likely minorly hurt someone if they were to jump up. One of ours was particularly bad for it when she came to us - she busted my lip with her nail pretty badly 'just being friendly'. That was two days in. A week in the behaviour was gone. No hitting here. And lets just say she is a stubborn breed type.

@Sunflowers095

You knew she hit the dog and let her stay? You're an awful pet owner if so.

If you're going to let people abuse your dog and the abuser to be in your home, give the dog to someone who will care for it properly.

FFS, she smacked it in the nose (which used to be a common way of disciplining a dog) she didn't kick it!

I wouldn't do it, & I would definitely give out at anyone else doing it these days, but it's not 'animal abuse/cruelty'.

Children also often do see/understand nuances in behaviour.

My friend was standing talking to me, she had her arms folded, he DD (8) came running over & ran into her. She kind of bounced off & landed on her bum. She then got indignant that her mum had pushed her over

I believe the MIL smacked the dogs nose - which is outdated & she'd be left very clear it was not to happen again, but the over reactions in this thread are ridiculous.

As for the grandmother tells child she's being selfish, it's not ideal, but it's not the end of the world as we know it either.

Thanks for popping by Ceasar Millan.

Oh come on. There is a huge difference between an idiot like CM and saying that any kind of physical discipline with a dog is inappropriate.

The amount of anthropomorphize that is going on in this thread is unbelievable. It may be that the MIL was inappropriately rough with the dog. But it's hard to tell because people are so set on the idea that dogs are children who will be traumatized in an ongoing way due to even a small tap.

So we end up with all of these dogs who continue to jump up at people and are potentially dangers to themselves when they hurt someone.

You let your unrurly dog jump up on an old woman .
Your ungrateful daughter refused to put on a jumper an action that would have taken seconds and pleased her grandmother who probably just wanted a photo.
All of this after a 5 hour car journey.

On a side note keep your cats off the dining table it's not sanitary

@TooManyAnimals94

Dogs shouldn't jump up. I wouldn't smack one on the nose but he would get a knee to the chest from me.

In which case you are on your way to creating a defensive and possibly violent animal.

@RoyalFamilyFan

So people are supposed to just put up with dogs jumping all over them?

You ever had kids who behave unreasonably? Do you hit them when they do? I guess you don't. No, no one has to put up with it but there are obviously better ways of education that don't require physical violence and a puppy is still like a toddler. I don't have kids but I'm damn well aware of the many options beyond physical harm to deter them from kicking, biting, shouting, pulling etc.

I would never hit a dog but honestly if it jumped up I would be scared and feel like doing it in self defence. Perhaps you need to control your dog better.

@Jaguar77

You let your unrurly dog jump up on an old woman . Your ungrateful daughter refused to put on a jumper an action that would have taken seconds and pleased her grandmother who probably just wanted a photo. All of this after a 5 hour car journey.

On a side note keep your cats off the dining table it's not sanitary

She didn't let her dog jump. The age of the the OP's MIL is not mentioned. Why should GD perform for anyone? It's not cats, a kitten actually , that was the issue, it was the MIL's behaviour.

She. was. not. in.her. own. house.

To be fair whenever we or our friends have had an overexcitable pup we have arrived with clear instructions that the dog will jump up but as part of training we were told to gently push him away or ignore the behaviour until they were calm then reward profusely. 'Four paws on the floor for visitors'. Works well but needs time

@Jaguar77

You let your unrurly dog jump up on an old woman . Your ungrateful daughter refused to put on a jumper an action that would have taken seconds and pleased her grandmother who probably just wanted a photo. All of this after a 5 hour car journey.

On a side note keep your cats off the dining table it's not sanitary

OPs daughter isn't a performing seal. She is a human being and is entitled to not put a piece of clothing on in order to please someone else. Do you not get that?

On a side note, your cats are on the table when you leave the house anyway. Stop kidding yourself, sweetie.

@SoniaFouler - you’ve really stood out on this thread with your doubts.

There are multiple reasons why a dog might not yelp/scream/bark/make any noise if bopped on the muzzle/slapped etc etc.

Anyway, for everyone else who has, or encounters, jumpy dogs. First rule is - don’t hit them!

Most effective rule, as an owner, is remove dog from situation - ideally before the event could happen. If you have a “jumpy” dog, then set up a space/room for said dog before your guests arrive.

For those trying to stop dogs from jumping up, don’t turn your back on them as “punishment”. Dogs turn their back to another dog as a sign of “submission/I’m not a threat”.

As an owner, you need to teach your dog that jumping up has no benefit at all. Reward/praise them for all paws on the floor!

If a dog jumps up at you, do t hit it or push it away with your hands. And don’t turn your back on it. Just walk towards it, gently, they will eventually climb down.

Best thing, in puppy stage, is to encourage and reward for all four paws on the floor. Doesn’t matter if it’s a chihuahua or a Great Dane. No one should have to tolerate a bad mannered dog.

OP - I’m with others on this thread. The kitten thing would have made me seriously think about how to handle future visits. That kind of flippant dismissal re animals would render that person unwelcome in my house.

@Mamamia7962

If she had hurt the dog he would have yelped. Not sure how you can flick a kitten off a table, do you mean pushed?

The way she spoke to your daughter was out of order.

Dogs don't necessarily yelp when hit. And hitting a dog on the nose is very wrong, their noses are several thousand times more sensitive than hours.

If she'd hit one of my terriers on the nose, they'd have retaliated with their teeth.

@Pixxie7

Hitting the dog is a definite no from me. As far as your daughter is concerned she definitely could have handled it better ie. I know you don’t really want to but could you wear the jumper for a couple of hours or just whilst we have dinner, just to please him.

To please a man she should wear a bloody jumper she doesn't want to? Can you hear yourself? Anything else she should do to please men?

There are some really strange people on this thread, from bee kiiiiind and those that think all animals are trained the moment they are at home. I mean babies and little kids take years to train but a puppy/kitten, well hell they should know from the first time you tell them.

Its pretty simple, dont hit children or animals.

@TooManyAnimals94

Dogs shouldn't jump up. I wouldn't smack one on the nose but he would get a knee to the chest from me.

My friend's boyfriend did that to my first dog, a 10 month old rescue who'd had no training whatsoever until he came to me.

The BF never set foot inside the door again. And got a massive bollocking from me.

@LesLavandes

I don't like dogs jumping up around me. You should not let that happen with guests.

She's training him they don't learn instantly and Christmas is always a challenging time for pets.

@LilyTheMink

Yes I did think I'd get a comment along the lines of my dog deserved it. He didn't. He's in training, he is 1, and I didn't 'let him' jump up. We all have to be firm and kind with him and get him to behave properly. She was not scared. She is not a person who ever gets scared to be honest. She is an ex-nurse she is utterly no-nonsense, old school, stiff upper lip and takes no prisoners on any account.

No your dog didn’t deserve it, neither did your kitten or your daughter. She sounds a right horror. I would call her out on it. Advise her that’s the second and last time she will be cruel to your pets and if she has nothing positive to say to your kids she should say nothing at all

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche

I will shove any animal away which tries to jump up at me. If that's classed as 'hitting' so be it.

Is anyone suggesting that it's enjoyable to have a dog, pissing with excitement (because that's what they do) jumping up at people?

I hope you have a very good awareness of canine body language, then. Doing that to a dog that's been abused and traumatised could well lead to a nasty bite.

And very few dogs piss with excitement much beyond puppyhood.

she sounds like the one that's "selfish and didn't think about other people" - in speaking to your child, and disrespecting your pets.

If anyone flicked my kitten they'd be getting a flick off me

So if people's kids annoy you it's OK to bop them on the nose? I don't think so somehow.

@LilyTheMink

Quite. Hence my decision upthread.

What decision? You’ve not stated any decision!

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche

While I am sorry that happened to your grandson, it doesn't make every dog you see an aggressive, bloodthirsty monster. Puppies are excitable. It takes time to train them. You are not going to have an impeccably trained dog the same day you bring it home. Jumping up with a big doggy grin on its face and its tail wagging ten to the dozen is a dog saying hello, not trying to attack. I have also been knocked over, scratched and bruised by friends or even strangers young excitable dogs. Yes it can be annoying, but I don't harbour any ill feeling towards the dog or try tl give it a smack, because it is young and learning it's manners.

I wouldn't smack an adult dog in those circumstances either.

Just because she was a visitor to your house doesn't mean it is acceptable to have you dog jumping up at her. I personally hate it and think it is the height of rudeness that some people think because it's their dogs home, other people have to put up with a dog jumping up and probably getting it's snotty nose on them as well

@olivehater

It’s your husband mother so of course you should’nt stop her coming other what sounds like a small incident to me. She is family at the end of the day. You need to suck this one up. Not everyone wants other peoples dogs jumping all over them. That might be the way she has been taught to deal with dogs. Maybe educate her on dealing with it or keep the dog away.

Usually in most cases I'd be the first to say let it slide, its no big deal. But in this instance the dog could have bitten mil, if a dog bites, its generally euthanized. One of my dogs had a blocked gland, years ago now. The whole vet visit was just awful, terrifying for the dog, in hindsight it should have been done much better. Anyway upshot is any vet visit by that dog requires a muzzle for the vets safety. Just one incident means my placid dog in every other situation requires a muzzle. Just so we are clear, my dog hasn't bitten anyone, but she growls a lot at the vet, and that's the warning. I always heed the warning.