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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH forgot to bring DDs Christmas gifts

167 replies

Veeveeoxox · 25/12/2021 00:20

We are staying at a relatives house 3 hours away DD is going away snowboarding tomorrow night
I'm travelling separately she won't get to play with her gifts until she gets back. I told my OH to put her gifts in the car after we leave so she doesn't know and thinks Santa has been. I've just asked OH to get the gifts out of the car and put under relatives tree and he said he hasn't bought them with him he's put them under our tree for some stupid fucking reason . I'm going to have drive the 3 hours there and 3 hours back aren't I ? My poor DD I'm heartbroken for her she hasn't got anything to open on Xmas day and I feel like a shitty mother for not checking. I'm livid.

OP posts:
HailAdrian · 25/12/2021 00:51

Bloody hell, I can't believe ppl suggesting OP drives for 6 hours now! It's shit for poor DD and useless of OH but lots of kids won't be getting gifts at all. You're just gonna have to see if you can find anything now, like you said and tell her that her presents are waiting for her at home.

LowlandsAway · 25/12/2021 00:51

‘Oh, and you didn't bring the presents either.’

?? She specifically asked her partner to and assumed he had the mental capacity to follow a really basic instruction.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/12/2021 00:52

@AJ1425

Why are men so useless??? Sorry that's not helpful but it's never women who fuck up like this.
Some men. However, I do know another man who did this and I've never met a woman who has so maybe you're not wrong there!
PosyBoo · 25/12/2021 00:52

Oh goodness! My head is saying to write a letter from Father Christmas explaining her presents are at home but I know in your position I’d be getting in the bloody car and driving to get them!! So sorry OP, it’s a shitty, shitty situation.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/12/2021 00:55

It's shit for poor DD and useless of OH but lots of kids won't be getting gifts at all.

Which is really cold comfort. And rectified by donating to the many charities which give presents to children. I know I've bunged money their way and so has DD who is only 11 so anyone can!

LowlandsAway · 25/12/2021 00:55

Definitely not safe to drive it - you’re going to have the write the delivery mix up Santa note, sorry!

blinder · 25/12/2021 00:55

It’s too dangerous to drive all night, and it will add to the danger of you going to work and back tomorrow. Please don’t drive - her mum is more important than which day she gets her presents.

“Sorry darling, Daddy forgot to remind Santa where we would be. Didn’t you, Daddy?”

AgathaMystery · 25/12/2021 00:57

Am I the only person who thinks a 6hr drive to save Xmas is totally doable? It’s nothing compared to a little 8yr old with nothing to open tomorrow whilst she watches all her cousins get their gifts.

Moonbabysmum · 25/12/2021 00:57

If suggest both going and sharing the driving,v though frankly he should be rectifying his own mistake. I'd be furious, but at him forgetting, but for not getting straight back in the car and getting them.

Lex345 · 25/12/2021 00:58

I think OP is already driving to go and get them

pictish · 25/12/2021 00:58

Oh this is too bad…dearie me. I’d be seething with anger…can’t believe he’s refused to rectify by fetching them. He has to drive to Gatwick…so what? His daughter has no presents on Christmas Day!

Uninterested · 25/12/2021 01:00

.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 25/12/2021 01:00

A 6 hour round trip seems extreme but realistically I’m not sure you will find a service station open at 1am on Christmas Eve? Money in a card seems reasonable, or maybe let the relatives know and see if a couple of her cousin’s gifts could be donated to go in a stocking along with a note to say the rest of her gifts are at home?

toomuchlaundry · 25/12/2021 01:01

If her cousins have gifts I’m assuming the adults who live in the house will have got the OP’s daughter something

blisstwins · 25/12/2021 01:01

I would run to the supermarket or other store and pick up a little
Something else and tell her Santa left at your home. No way would I drive 6 hours, but I would make sure there was something under the tree for an 8 year ikd

liveforsummer · 25/12/2021 01:01

At 8 she might be pragmatic. I'd wake her early and say OMG Santa has left the presents at our house - it's a very long way but shall we go and get them or do you want to just wait until you've been snowboarding and open them when you get home. He's left you some money for your trip as a sorry. If she desperately wants them take her on a road trip but it might well help her decide not to bother if presented in that way

ArrrMeHearties · 25/12/2021 01:02

I'd tell her that Santa has been to her house as he knows that's where dd lives and not at relatives house

Wherehasthecommonsensegone · 25/12/2021 01:03

I know it’s not ideal and you must be so annoyed at your OH but please don’t let it ruin Christmas and be too angry at him. The brain goes a bit haywire at this time of year and mistakes happen. In 10 years time this will be the funny story where silly OH forgot the presents (even if it too soon for it to be even remotely funny now).

Your daughters 8 so understandably will be upset but hopefully will have presents from others. It’s good she has snowboarding to look forward to, a sure way to take her mind off it. She’ll be excited to have presents when she gets back from snowboarding even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment. A 6 hour round trip is too long at this time of night/early morning and if either one of you go you’ll be exhausted tomorrow and possibly grumpy which might also ruin the mood.

I wish I had an answer for you, sorry this has happened but at the very least a good story for the future.

elfycat · 25/12/2021 01:04

I'd be spitting mad too. But a 6 hour drive would be dangerous at this time with the risk of falling asleep.

So if driving is out another gift needs to be sourced. Is there a game she loves (thinking roblox or minecraft or similar) which an IOU £XXX of spending written in a card would work - I've been doing this for a few years with mine through choice/request.

Options on local 24 hour shops? favourite sweets, and plastic tat to be opened tomorrow. Can a gift to a cousin be repurposed and money given instead to them.

user1481840227 · 25/12/2021 01:05

I told my OH to put her gifts in the car after we leave so she doesn't know and thinks Santa has been. I've just asked OH to get the gifts out of the car and put under relatives tree and he said he hasn't bought them with him he's put them under our tree for some stupid fucking reason

I was confused reading what you said. I know you said put the gifts in the car...but he might have just heard the "after we leave so she doesn't know and thinks santa has been"

and that would make him think to put them under the tree after you leave so that they're there when she comes back and thinks Santa has been. It kind of sounded like you were saying to say up the presents!

"put the presents in the car" would have made more sense

user1481840227 · 25/12/2021 01:05

*to set up the presents

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 25/12/2021 01:08

I don't think I would do the drive. We have travelled alot at Christmas and the kids can handle it. They are more robust than you think.... plus she will have a great story for her therapist if she gets no gifts on Xmas day.

Or you will have a great dining out story if you do the drive or if you don't.

She is getting to go Snowboarding! That is kind of a cool present!

Happierwithouthim · 25/12/2021 01:14

I'd do the drive if it were my children, my stepson and his wife forgot some Santa stuff visiting his in laws one year so they asked what we'd got the children & substituted those presents instead, would that be a possibility?

Jumpingintochristmas · 25/12/2021 01:16

If someone has a key could they meet you halfway?

Topseyt · 25/12/2021 01:23

How infuriating. If it were me then DH would have been on his way back for them.