To think it's unacceptable so many women cry in the workplace?

[ttcpatronisers]

I work in an office of approx 40 people. Half of them roughly are women.

Of the Half, the majority have cried in the workplace - many on multiple occasions and often when they are in the wrong about a situation.

I find this unprofessional and odd. Of the men, one has cried.

Why do women cry so often at work? Is it because there's some truth in us being unable to control our emotions? Is it because we fell it's accepted in society for women to cry? Or is it because we attention? Know we can get what we want when we cry as it softens a situation?

Honestly, I find it very odd and annoying. I feel it undermines us in the workplace.

I also find it incredibly unprofessional. Now obviously if something really bad has happened it's a different story but often these tears are because of minor events.

AIBU - crying at work isn't unprofessional
YANBU - people should hold their emotions together and perhaps go to the toilet and cry

@ttcpatronisers

So clearly IABU and it's ok the cry at work?

That's it. You've got it now.

So OP you work in an environment where women other than you are crying and now you start a thread and harangue everyone who disagrees with you. Maybe the problem is you?

OP, R U OK?

The only time I have cried at work was through the sheer frustration of not being listened to and gaslighted by my (female), manager. It was either that or punch the stupid cow's lights out....and I really needed the job at the time. Since leaving there I have never cried at work since.

You need to read Wifework and Invisible Women about the mental load that women carry. In many countries women do the bulk of the caring and home admin on top of their jobs. So women are already far more stretched than men. If there are cultural reasons perhaps the unfair distribution of life admin is part of it.
You appear to refuse to consider context. You refuse to accept their may be something cultural in your firm.
I have worked my entire career in the City. I am tough and the few times I have seen people upset it’s been an arsehole boss or a very ill family member.

Well done OP, you don't and never have cried at work. Would you like a ⭐️ ?
Sometimes people have other things going on in their life, could get overwhelmed and cry. Try having empathy for someone, if they cry, they're clearly having a bad day.

So big news women have personal problems! We are not Robots you know . If someone with an Alcoholic husband needs to unload ,they probably feel safer in a roomful of people than an unpredictable husband . I dont see your point ,so one day someone has a meltdown ,the next they are doing their job in spite of setbacks .Should be congratulated surely ?

I've cried at work. I cried when my mother rang to tell me someone had died. I've cried when I was going through a very stressful time and was extremely frustrated and angry about the whole situation. It was slightly odd sitting there with tears on my face, and no one else noticing (I was silent with the tears,) but I was quite glad they hadn't. I've cried from hay-fever. I've also cried with laughter. If I'm crying because I'm upset, I'll try and get away to the loos.

A male friend of mine kicked a hole in the wall of the loos at his work, when his mother was dying. I don't think crying is so bad, but if it happens often,then either someone needs support, and/or the workplace culture needs to change.

I am not a manager I am merely an employee making observations so I have no reason to protect the reasons or get defensive with you on the thread.
And thankfully, you are very unlikely to be a manager, as you lack empathy & compassion.

@ttcpatronisers

Oh ffs people I've just explained - theu are crying because they've made a mistake in their job for example - or they are causing a problem or - they're having marital problems.

It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?

Maybe it's you

Did one or two people cry and you rounded up to most of 20?

It's not a normal level.

Its not really an AIBU you're looking for is it?
It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?
either you accept this (your viewpoint) or..

If you're this belligerent at work, and you've never had this brought to your attention as not ok, then it's definitely the workplace doing it.

I've seen a lot of women cry at work over the years. Often, it's just a quick outburst in relation to something, or something that's built up and exploded at work. Often lasts a few minutes and dealt with by kindness and cup of tea.

Times I can remember myself:
Crashing my car on the way to work, then bursting into tears when I got to work
Dropping babies at nursery the first time
Hearing that a colleague's husband had died
Having a colleague get the promotion I wanted. That was more humiliation than anything else.

@ttcpatronisers

Oh ffs people I've just explained - theu are crying because they've made a mistake in their job for example - or they are causing a problem or - they're having marital problems.

It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?

I've worked with plenty of women of have rarely seen any of them cry publicly. Your workplace is not normal if women are crying regularly.

You sound like someone id not want to work with
Do you get so defensive with them as you’re getting on this thread ?

Oooh I don’t know. Maybe because a lot of women in the workplace are also dealing with the responsibility of carrying the mental load, parenting, caring, doing a ton of housework, worrying about normal stuff, supposed to look a certain way, act a certain way etc.

So when Dave or Julie the office prick decides to go on some sort of moral crusade about the way your PowerPoint presentation is formatted, it’s the straw that breaks the camels back.

Normally tears at work are out of anger and feeling unable to express that you’ve just been shat on.

Unfortunately I think it’s often down to hormonal sensitivity and fluctuations. Oestrogen and Progesterone changes can make us v emotional. Men have far more testosterone which gives them this harder and less emotional reputation.

It's an observation that I have noticed majority of time it is female that do this and I can say the same on other places I've worked

And an observation I've made is that it's very often men who get angry/shout in the workplace when stressed. Any thoughts on that?

We had a ‘crying room’ at my last place. Everyone was lovely, but it was teaching, so everyone was stressed to death and bad behaviour can really get you down.

We had chocolate stashed in there. If you went in, someone would akways follow you and console you.

I’m amazed that people don’t cry at work!

@Unity1

Currently crying at the thought of having to work with OP.

If people are crying at work over mistakes they’ve made then the culture is toxic and making people fearful of mistakes. This in itself exacerbates the problem. If people are crying at work because of personal issues, again a sympathetic employer would help them. Rolling your eyes and thinking “just get on with it” isn’t the way we as humans should operate.

Some days just looking at cute kitten could make me teary eyed other days not much fazes me.

@ttcpatronisers

Oh ffs people I've just explained - theu are crying because they've made a mistake in their job for example - or they are causing a problem or - they're having marital problems.

It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?

No we can't.

I worked in many offices. Current one has 167 people - about 60% women. Only one I've seen cry was after her husband suddenly died. (A marital problem I suppose, so I see you've covered that as being wrong.)

I've heard of one crying because she can't handle the work but not seen. I heard because everyone talked about it. Mind you there also have been several men get angry and shout because they can't handle their job. Anger being the one allowed emotion for men. However I assume that's fine, it's just crying that's bad?

I dunno, I think it might be a company thing? Or a you thing? I've cried at work once and I know of 2 others that have. Yours odds are very high.