To think it's unacceptable so many women cry in the workplace?

[ttcpatronisers]

I work in an office of approx 40 people. Half of them roughly are women.

Of the Half, the majority have cried in the workplace - many on multiple occasions and often when they are in the wrong about a situation.

I find this unprofessional and odd. Of the men, one has cried.

Why do women cry so often at work? Is it because there's some truth in us being unable to control our emotions? Is it because we fell it's accepted in society for women to cry? Or is it because we attention? Know we can get what we want when we cry as it softens a situation?

Honestly, I find it very odd and annoying. I feel it undermines us in the workplace.

I also find it incredibly unprofessional. Now obviously if something really bad has happened it's a different story but often these tears are because of minor events.

AIBU - crying at work isn't unprofessional
YANBU - people should hold their emotions together and perhaps go to the toilet and cry

YABVU, and misogynistic.

I’ve worked in the City for years in high stress roles, I think I’ve heard of women being upset at work only twice, and one of those incidents was a case of crying privately in the loos!

Women are not “more emotional”. But we are often underpaid, overworked, put upon and exploited in the workplace. If anyone gets upset in that situation it’s no bloody wonder. Now have a word with yourself and ask yourself why you’re posting this sexist crap on Boxing Day.

@EricCartmansGoatee

I don't think crying is something people choose to do. It's more of a response to a shit / overwhelming situation or workplace. Are you their manager or something?

Agree with this. Our very small team had a meeting just before Christmas and our new manager to be spoke to us all in such a horrible tone, that two out of five of us were almost crying. This was after working our butts off all year to keep the team going and ensure our contract was renewed. These were not people known for crying at nothing. It was a response to utterly being treated like crap whilst having given so much of ourselves all year.

@VestaTilley

YABVU, and misogynistic.

I’ve worked in the City for years in high stress roles, I think I’ve heard of women being upset at work only twice, and one of those incidents was a case of crying privately in the loos!

Women are not “more emotional”. But we are often underpaid, overworked, put upon and exploited in the workplace. If anyone gets upset in that situation it’s no bloody wonder. Now have a word with yourself and ask yourself why you’re posting this sexist crap on Boxing Day.

I posted it earlier in the week

Women really don't like criticism of our gender but will happily bash men all day!

Women really don't like criticism of our gender but will happily bash men all day!

I wish they wouldn't allow day release to extend into Boxing Day. Isn't the light hurting your eyes?

It’s definitely your workplace, my workplace is 95% women and I am in charge of a team of 9 women and 3 men, 2 of the women hve cried whe we’ve been discussing bereavements and how to support them back into the workplace, people aren’t robots and whilst I am not the most comfortable with emotion, these are hard working dedicated colleagues who deserve my support as their manager. Your attitude towards upset colleagues seems questionable and I’ve never worked somewhere where people cry enough to comment on it, if people are making so many “errors” that sounds like a training issue and must be very stressful for the employees.

YABU it's fine to cry at work.

Is laughing at work 'unprofessional' too? That's an emotional response.

Emotional regulation doesn't mean behaving like an emotionless robot.

Pressed post too soon - I think it's a culture problem if people are crying because of work. But I'm in a supportive office and people still cry occasionally and they're never made to feel ashamed. Non work related reasons I've seen tears at the office include:

Dog dying in a freak accident (this one was me. I cried so hard one of my colleagues started to cry too )
Mother diagnosed with Lung Cancer as Covid hit
Learning of scary pregnancy complications
Best Friend dying
General life overwhelm (This one was a man)
Beloved colleague retiring (head of whole office crying on a Zoom call)
Both parents dying in 24 hours
Colleague being unnecessarily vicious (this was a man too)

Looked at your other threads, OP. I know it’s frowned upon but I wondered what possessed you to start this thread. I suspect you’re a bit down on other women at the moment. Possibly understandable, but this thread is hateful.

I agree OP. I have two members of staff who cry at the drop of a hat. It’s bloody unprofessional and makes women look emotional and weak.

@Onairjunkie

Looked at your other threads, OP. I know it’s frowned upon but I wondered what possessed you to start this thread. I suspect you’re a bit down on other women at the moment. Possibly understandable, but this thread is hateful.

What do my other threads have to do with anything? How bloody weird

Wouid you really rather be dead inside than cry at work? My friends often joke I am made of stone, I am not very emotional, never really cry and am very practical so when they are upset I offer solutions rather than a shoulder to cry on.

That said I don’t want to be “dead inside” and although I never cry and feel a bit awkward when others do, I don’t see showing emotion as a weakness even if it’s on a rare occasion in the workplace, if it’s regularly in the workplace the correct thing to do would be refer for employee counselling and make sure their mental health was ok. Not sneer at them for showing emotion and state you’d rather be dead inside than cry in work. Is your work a supportive environment? What happens when people cry?

What do my other threads have to do with anything?

Well they do explain why you feel the need to start a thread sticking the boot into women and telling us how shit they are. It's not something most of us feel a need to do in the run-up to Christmas.

I'm sorry for the hard time you're going through, but are misogynistic threads a better way of expressing sadness than shedding tears in an office?

What do my other threads have to do with anything? How bloody weird

Come on now, you’re not as obtuse as all that.

I have been working for years with lots of people of both sexes. I don't think I have ever seen anyone cry. And I have worked in some incredibly stressful teams.

It would not bother me if people cried but I would wonder if the workplace is in some way contributing to the tears. Why would making a mistake cause someone to cry. Is it cos they fear a telling off or are they distraught cos their error might cause harm or upset to someone else?

I imagine some professions have more emotionally charged atmospheres e.g. hospitals.

There must be something wrong with your workplace if people are crying so much, even if its because of private matters they are obviously more on edge or stressed than at other workplaces (like mine) where people also have private issues but aren't crying all the time.

@ttcpatronisers

The strange thing about this thread is that so many people put it down to a toxic workplace! Really? So every time someone cries it must be the workplace fault / it's like nowadays no one can take accountability for anything.

I've been in toxic workplaces but I don't cry! I stand up for myself if something isn't right - doesn't mean crying is still and acceptable regular way to behave.

Virtually every pp has said they've never worked somewhere with the frequency of crying you're talking about even with a broad employer history and challenging environments... which is why they're concluding your workplace must be bad. But you are trying to twist that into people saying crying at all = people blaming work and not taking personal responsibility. I think op = 🙉