To think it's unacceptable so many women cry in the workplace?

[ttcpatronisers]

I work in an office of approx 40 people. Half of them roughly are women.

Of the Half, the majority have cried in the workplace - many on multiple occasions and often when they are in the wrong about a situation.

I find this unprofessional and odd. Of the men, one has cried.

Why do women cry so often at work? Is it because there's some truth in us being unable to control our emotions? Is it because we fell it's accepted in society for women to cry? Or is it because we attention? Know we can get what we want when we cry as it softens a situation?

Honestly, I find it very odd and annoying. I feel it undermines us in the workplace.

I also find it incredibly unprofessional. Now obviously if something really bad has happened it's a different story but often these tears are because of minor events.

AIBU - crying at work isn't unprofessional
YANBU - people should hold their emotions together and perhaps go to the toilet and cry

These people are generally happy in their jobs and for example - one has an alcoholic husband so cried because of it.

I think I might cry at work if my DH was an alcoholic. Their life is probably incredibly difficult.

@ttcpatronisers

Img this thread is already getting ridiculous. I've explained the reasons why people are crying. These people are generally happy in their jobs and for example - one has an alcoholic husband so cried because of it. Another had a knee that was hurting. It is NOT company related can we just accept that.

Now you either believe me - or continue to switch the narrative to suit.

Now you’re annoyed that we aren’t all agreeing with you.

You sound like a person who enjoys shaming others (women) for showing emotion at their situation.

Hopefully you aren’t in a management or related position.

You sound like a nice person OP.
Like others have said, it sounds quite unique to your work place.
I work in the public sector, deal with death and distress in a daily basis. I’ve seen male and female colleagues cry.
Have some humanity.

Oh ffs people I've just explained ...

You don't sound very nice at all. Crying in the workplace isn't ideal but it is sometimes unavoidable. If I see a co worker crying, I want to comfort them NOT stand there considering them to be unprofessional.

@ttcpatronisers

Img this thread is already getting ridiculous. I've explained the reasons why people are crying. These people are generally happy in their jobs and for example - one has an alcoholic husband so cried because of it. Another had a knee that was hurting. It is NOT company related can we just accept that.

Now you either believe me - or continue to switch the narrative to suit.

Your previous post actually says they are crying because of a mistake at work. If a place of work is so awful that making a mistake makes one cry then it's a terrible workplace. FWIW I've only cried at work when my mother died, otherwise I'd cry at home if I had the need. Then leave the job. No job is worth crying for. Empathy, heard of it?

Sadly I’ve seen multiple women cry at work in multiple workplaces because I work in education. The expectations of school staff these days combined with quick promotion of inexperienced managers /senior staff (because no one else wants the role) creates a toxic workplace. Quite eye opening to see so many people surprised at emotion in work place when it has become the norm in education 😢

I'm not a troll. The reactions on this thread I find very odd - I've now given a variety of examples of why people have cried and majority of which I will repeat - NOT work related.

I am not a manager I am merely an employee making observations so I have no reason to protect the reasons or get defensive with you on the thread.

But fleets just carry on saying the workplace is the issue, it clearly makes many people feel better about crying at work

One organisation I worked at there was a frequent crier, and another (an anti bullying charity) it happened a lot because the chief executive was foul, and encouraged her minions to copy her own management style whist remaining super deferential to her.
So I've not experienced it a lot, but frankly would rather have people cry from time to time than my current organisation where people take frequent random days off because they're feeling a bit stressed.

@Terfydactyl I said the MAJORITY of the reasons they cry isn't company related. But again let's twist the narrative to make it sound more excusable for people to cry at work.

Bit ironic you calling them attention-seeking when you start a thread like this! 😆

But anyway, is it you, OP? Is it you making everyone cry? Because your manner is quite rude goady and looking for a reaction

Currently crying at the thought of having to work with OP.

The trouble is OP it's quite hard to have a sensible debate because you refuse to discuss or accept any possible explanation. There are scenarios where it is unprofessional of course. I've cried once at work in 24 years and that was behind a closed door that I assure you noone was aware.

However your attitude is completely pushing for people to say yes ots women and they are more emotional.

No. To be honest your assessment is clunky and uninformed.

As pp said if lots of people are crying then it absolutely indicates its a group issue. I've done jobs that I am positive would make your hair stand on end. No women haven't been more likely to cry they have been far more controlled in their emotions than the male staff alot of the time (although there is actually a reason men may get tprovoked in some of my roles).

You want a single answer, you aren't considering it rationally,, you quite literally made it a way to kick women rather than what could have been an interesting debate and you refuse to accept the very sensible explanations.

It's either you or the company.

People often don't cry because they've made mistakes, they cry because of the corporate culture around them and how that reacts to the mistakes.

I don’t think crying is a big deal. I’ve seen a few people cry at work because of work and personal issues. I’ve cried myself - it’s a release, I moved on and got over it. But then my workplace is quite big into mental health awareness and so there is no stigma attached to it.

Well it's not ideal no but we are all only human and sometimes you just can't help it. I have cried at work only once, I had a lot going on in my personal life and someone made a comment to me that just tipped me over the edge. Was it my finest moment? No. Was I or anyone else mortally embarrassed about it? Also no. These things happen, it's not a huge deal

If they are crying on cue to try and manipulate a situation at work then it's a bit different but how many people do that really?

You really don't sound like a very warm or understanding person from your OP and subsequent posts.

Well, women cry more because their prolactin levels are higher than men's. Until puberty, levels are equal and boys and girls cry at the same rate.

For work, I'd say there's crying and crying - getting a bit teary when things get on top of you is tough but not necessarily unprofessional. Tears and tantrums, loud sobs at desk without effort to control them - not so good. But you've part answered your own question. You're obviously in an environment where some crying is acceptable, whether you as manager appreciate that or not. Agree with others - expressions of male hormone fuelled emotion can impinge more on others but are seen as alpha traits.

I’ve cried once at work. It was due to a senior colleague fucking up and the way our systems work me not having enough time to deal with the consequences. I did raise the problem at the next meeting but was shut down by the senior (female) manager.
My resolve was to cut down on customer service. Fuck it. I’m not going to be the one to suffer.
Whenever someone cry’s at my place of work it is always down to management and the failure of them to understand that the job cannot be done in such a small timeframe.

I tell you what's worse, but judged far less harshly, is an angry shouting man.

How dare a woman show their emotions.

Okay OP to make it easier for you- it’s acceptable to cry at work regardless of whether it’s a company related reason or a personal reason. Does that clear things up?

Also you keep banging on about it not being ‘company related’, but how do you know what is the root cause of people’s emotional distress? You don’t exactly radiate emotional intelligence…

I've now given a variety of examples of why people have cried and majority of which I will repeat - NOT work related

They might not be work related but plenty of them are emotional. Your example of a marriage breakdown for example, you think it's "odd" that someone may cry more during this time? Really? I find that more odd than the crying to be honest. People aren't robots, you don't just switch off all feeling when you walk through the workplace door, people still have lives.

I’ve worked in all sorts of offices in my life and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone, man or woman, crying at work…. Maybe I’ve just been lucky to work in places where people don’t feel the need to cry!

@ttcpatronisers

I'm not a troll. The reactions on this thread I find very odd - I've now given a variety of examples of why people have cried and majority of which I will repeat - NOT work related.

I am not a manager I am merely an employee making observations so I have no reason to protect the reasons or get defensive with you on the thread.

But fleets just carry on saying the workplace is the issue, it clearly makes many people feel better about crying at work

Not at all, it’s been explained to you many many times that the level of crying that you describe is unusual. It’s clear from your description (and communication style) that there is a likely issue in the workplace which contributes to this but you are determined to blame individuals for having emotional responses to difficult situations.

All the women in my team have cried recently except one. We have all had good reason to cry- women in my workplace are treated like shit. If one of my colleagues was crying the last thing on my mind would be to accuse them of being unprofessional. Management at my workplace disagree and would have words with the cryer (this has happened recently). This is part of the issue with how we are treated. Maybe you’re part of the problem op?

I work in child protection. I’ve cried at work, I’m far from unprofessional. You’re very unreasonable to have a blanket “women crying at work is unprofessional”.